LUNA'S REVIEWS

15: Overrated

Title: Overrated
Author: chrysthh
Genre: New Adult

This book is for the days when you're all comfy, drinking hot, pumpkin spice lattes, and wearing your favorite, cozy sweater- perfect for fall! The aesthetics were cute and I loved the overall vibe. I also thought it was really cool how it was set up in Patras, Greece and how well you described the setting. That was one of my favorite details because I really felt like I experienced something new here!

Grammar/Punctuation: I know within the form you clearly stated that you know there's errors throughout and that you're not worried about them at this time. Cool beans, I won't deep dive (not that there were a lot of issues to begin with). However, I do feel it would be unfair of me if I didn't at least mention it, so here we are. 

When it comes to punctuation, the problem I mostly noticed was the misplacement of commas that only added unnecessary pauses. There was only one instance of this that stood out to me, so it definitely wasn't that big of a disturbance, but I did want to mention it. In the first chapter, in the very first line, you wrote, "Everyone knows that, if there's a person you wish to never see again, you'll run right into them." This was a fantastic starter sentence, but the comma after 'that' definitely made it sound a little awkward as I read it. I would honestly just take it out altogether, and the sentence would be fine. 

Other than the extra commas here and there, I didn't notice any consistent problems, so great job! I think that for the most part your writing is well done and structured quite well, so it makes sense to me that this isn't a concern of yours. 

Title/Summary: I liked the title! It's very simple but I think it does a great job at conveying the overall idea, vibe, feeling, etc. I think it's especially fitting because I did read Parfait, and going into this I already had an opinion of Eliza, and overrated is definitely a term I would have used to describe her (at least before). It makes sense to me that she views herself that way too, especially after reading the first few parts and learning more about how much she struggles to be perfect. 

For the most part I like the summary as well. It's not too long, not too short, and gives me just enough information that I'm curious to know more about Eliza Ioannidi. If I were to be finicky, I would recommend taking out the line, "However, life doesn't work that way." I really felt like it took away the impact from the line before that, "Too scared of failure and loss, she begins thinking that maybe the safest option is not trying at all." 

The reason I feel this way is because I feel like your main audience already has that notion ingrained into them. It's often within our adolescent years that we learn the harsh truth that life isn't fair, and here, I really feel it would have a bigger impact on your readers if you let them realize that life doesn't work out the way we want on their own. Let them learn through Eliza's mistakes- don't feed them the lesson in the summary. At least, that's how it made me feel. 

I did really like the beginning though! Especially the very first line, "When you can't have something you want so bad, it's easier to pretend you didn't want it in the first place." This was very relatable and really helped to lure me into your story. Great job here!

Plot/Character Development: I made sure going into your novel that this was my primary focus, as the plot and character development are the backbone of a good story. Bad grammar/punctuation can be fixed, titles can be changed, summaries can be rewritten, but none of that even matters if you don't have a strong foundation to start building upon. You wanted to know if your book was interesting, if the narration was engaging, and if it means anything to your audience. I really liked the ideas you presented, and while I feel there's room for improvement, you have hit these things. 

The first point I want to make is about Eliza's character as a whole. There was one instance that kind of confused me in the first chapter when she's interacting with her best friend, Phoebe. You wrote, "I slap her hand. 'It's kind of rude to point, Phoebe,' I say, kind of defeated." To me this felt very aggressively out of character based on how you've illustrated Eliza so far. It would make more sense and be a little more engaging if this was a small detail included to demonstrate how she's trying to "keep it all from falling apart," as stated in the summary. One kind of sign that someone is struggling to keep it together are miniature outbursts of frustration, especially towards loved ones. Even if it only elicits a concerned glance from Phoebe, or a small awkward silence, plant the seed early on that she's not handling her emotions/stress well. This also adds the necessary tension that readers look for to stay interested. If your characters are painted as too apathetic it can detach your audience from the story. 

I also found myself slightly disappointed reading Eliza's interaction with the mysterious grocery store boy. You did a great job at writing the scene in which she saw Lukas, how desperate she was to get away from him, and this really helped set you up nicely for the interaction with this new character. However, the conversation they had, the details used to describe him... it didn't really leave a lasting impression on me of any kind. In fact, I honestly kind of forgot about him afterwards, and only remembered after his way-too-brief re-introduction in chapter three. 

The reason I feel this happened is because you don't include any details that really stand out when they first meet. It makes sense to me that Eliza's distant, as I wouldn't want to get too close to a man I don't know either, especially when avoiding someone important, but you want to include something that makes the reader keep thinking about him. Like maybe include a small detail like how they make brief eye contact and it makes Eliza stop for a second, or maybe she remembers how she liked the sound of his voice. The lavender scent was definitely a nice detail, but as a reader I wanted more than that.

The second interaction was a little better, especially since she notices how handsome he is and acts so awkwardly around him, but I wished it was a little longer. Also, while Eliza was flustered after the fact, it would have been so much more impactful if that was something that had followed her home. For example, maybe she tries to forget about all her current stressors by thinking of the cute boy that she keeps running into, and then maybe Summer makes an offhand comment about her blushing- something subtle, but still enough to affect the reader. 

It was the lack of emotional details that detached me from the story, but everything else was really well done. The worldbuilding is outstanding! I was also able to relate to Eliza in small ways, like how she can be lazy at times, or how she struggles to handle stress, which is very important. It's well done so far, I just want to see more of what she's feeling and how she reacts to new situations/people. 

OVERALL: I like it so far! Overrated as the potential to be a powerful, influential new adult novel and I really hope to see you succeed with this! I hope this review was the kind of feedback you wanted, but please hit me up if I didn't explain something well or if I didn't include something you were looking for. I wish you the best of luck in all your writing endeavors, and fantastic job overall!