CHAPTER 1

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Are you still my answer

To the question I've asked since I was born?

-Crywolf in Windswept

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How did she get here? How did she end up here?

She can only think back, because thinking ahead is impossible.

She is stuck in memories, that were once her reality. Things that mean something entirely different now than they did back then.

Things she valued, things that made her feel so alive to a point she wasn't sure she'd be able to actually live without.

She keeps feeling various things whenever she travels back to the same recollection. It reappears from time to time, making her feel stuck in the past, stuck in memories that become more vague every time she tries to recall them.

That fear of completely forgetting, it's there. She can't forget. She won't. She refuses to, because those memories is what she lives for, giving her reason not to give up completely.

She tries to keep sensing them, as vividly as possible, just to be able to feel a fraction of what it was she felt then.

Whenever she's able to relive her past, those moments she's had, they make her feel like a time traveller. To be able to return is something she wants to do forever, because she doesn't know what her future holds.

She knows her present isn't like she wanted, not like she dreamed of when she was younger.

She is afraid her future will be the same, void of that one sparkle, that one thing that made her feel like everything was worth it.

She knows that being stuck in her past isn't a healthy way to live, but how can she move on when the past is all she can think about?

How can she move on, when her entire heart lies in her past, when she left it there, waiting to be picked up again?

She can't just let go. She's incapable to.

She's a stranger in her own life, watching from the sidelines how the protagonist of her own story becomes the person she doesn't recognize. An empty shell of the person she used to be.

Her vision on everything has changed.

The world around her has always felt strange.

Some details about it are charming and dated, other precious and irretrievable but, that all fades into the quaint texture of the day. And that repeats.

Day in, day out, she realises how little it means to her, the present.

The world.

Her world, however, is an entire different story. Her world isn't something she can grasp anymore, not something she can recover.

See, her world didn't exist out of surroundings, of friends. It was one person.

That person isn't here with her now, hasn't been for the past years. For too long, she's been craving back the familiarity of that world she once lost.

The world she gets to revisit each time her memories become her temporary reality.

But, she has changed.

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