The Princess and the Bard (Royals of the Realms #1)

Chapter Twenty-Four: Love and Shame

Alori sat up, feeling the press of cold stone underneath her gloves. Darkness threatened to swallow her, extending in all directions. The air was deathly still and steeped in silence. A cloud of smoke manifested in front of her, bubbling and rapidly expanding, like water in a boiling pot. At its center an orange flame flickered, dim at first and then brightening as it, too, grew larger.

The fire hissed and popped. There was something about it– something not quite right.

Rasping laughter echoed off walls Alori could not see.

"Dantalion!" She jumped to her feet, expecting an assault from the shadows. 

A jolt of pain zinged through her, but it was just the cold floor on her bare feet.

"Did you missss me, princess? What did you think of my curssse? Don't tell me– it was titillating, wasn't it?"

"I destroyed you. Leave me alone."

"Yesss, you did, but I am not gone, am I?"

The flame danced and flashed as the demon spoke, if its hissing form of communication could even be called speech.

"You only remain because the memories are still fresh," Alori said, her voice shaking. "You'll be gone soon, I'll see to it."

"I thought you would have learned not to underessstimate me, little girl." Cackling laughter accompanied the disturbing, sibilant tones.

"You aren't real, you can't be underestimated."

"I am as real as you think I am."

"Then you're nothing at all." 

Dantalion chortled. "The only one of us you're fooling is yourssself, my pretty little sweetflame." 

The flame floated toward her out of the smoke, swaying ominously. If Alori squinted, she could almost make out a rudimentary form in the tiny tongue of fire. 

"How do you think your man will feel when he finds out you lossst your maidenhead to his bessst friend? Oh my, that will be a hard ship to navigate, won't it?"

"It wasn't real." Alori was now shaking so badly, she could hardly speak. She told herself it was the chill in the air. "It was a v-vision, a fever dream."

"I guessss we will find out soon, won't we?"

"There is no we. Go away!" 

Her voice didn't echo like Dantalion's. Alori sounded muffled and distant, while the demon's voice was close and husky. It reminded her of the dark magic she'd experienced in Ville-Tokki when Dantalion's voice, channeled through Thelix, had been everywhere at once.

"Yesss, I'll go. For now...."

Manic laughter rang in Alori's ears, the echoes of demonic mirth swirling around her like a hot, eddying mist.

"Before I go, princesss, let me remind you of your lover's guilt and how it weighs on him. The shame... it is exquisssite."

Alori swatted at the hot air snaking across her cheeks. She thought she heard the demon licking its lips. "Save your breath, Dantalion. I don't care what you have to say, because I know it would be a lie."

"I don't know his sssecret, all I know is that his guilt tassstes sour and so, ssso good. He is hiding something from you, something deliciousss. Do let me know what it isss next time you summon me."

"I didn't summon you. Leave me alone."

"For now, for now..."

The words echoed with unnerving clarity, the demonic flame snuffing out in a blinding burst of light.

♪♫♪

Alori's eyes snapped open. Deep golden light streamed into the solarium through the glass ceiling, burnishing the smooth stone of the goddesses statue. Hamoni was gone, but a folded blanket had been placed under Alori's head and she'd been repositioned onto her side with her knees drawn up to her chest.

Judging by the long shadows slanting away from the statue and topiaries, she'd been asleep for a couple hours.

She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up, extending her aching legs over the walkway. A broken piece of ivy snagged in a long lock of her hair, its prickly stem poking her in the cheek. She untangled it and tossed it to the floor, a frown pulling down her lips.

She wanted to believe what she'd said in her dream, that Dantalion wouldn't continue to haunt her, that it was only a matter of time before the memory of the demon's smoky laughter faded. But what if that didn't prove true? What if Dantalion lingered on, cropping up in her doubts and nightmares for the rest of her life?

She shivered, rubbing the silk sleeves of her gown. She couldn't allow herself to think this way, it was unhealthy.

I don't know his sssecret, princess. All I know is that his guilt tassstes sour and so, ssso good.

Alori's scowl deepened. It seemed only fitting that her nightmare had dredged up one of Dantalion's trickster ploys to heighten her anxiety right before she planned to face Taelan, because why shouldn't she be even more terrified to make her confession?

The whole thing was ridiculous, but she knew where the anxiety stemmed from. In Ville-Tokki the demon had alluded that Taelan was hiding something from her, a dark secret. But since then Taelan had confided in her. He had willingly admitted he wasn't a virgin, when she hadn't even thought to ask. He had also come clean about meeting her in Ville-You all those years ago, and being frustrated that she didn't remember their brief but meaningful encounter. The only secret left was Alori's own.

"Pull yourself together," she whispered to herself, pinching her cheeks. "You're not a little girl."

Two years from now she would be queen, and she needed to be ready. She had to learn to move past trivial inconveniences like the occasional nightmare. Contemplating the meaning of dreams was useless. Getting on her feet, finding Taelan, and explaining to him exactly– or most of– what had happened with Yuka, that would be a healthy start to her journey toward greater self-discipline.

Queens didn't sit alone in solariums for hours, worrying. They took action.

Alori rose to her feet and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt with new conviction. Forgiveness wasn't a feeling, and neither was bravery. They were both deliberate choices, and today she would choose to conquer her fear.

It was only natural that she was scared to face Taelan. In a sense they still hardly knew one another. A few days ago he would have been a stranger to her on the street. But in other ways– and these seemed of greater significance– she'd known him far longer, since the first time his sheet music arrived at the palace nine months ago;  or even before that, when their paths initially crossed eleven years ago, shaping her life in ways she hadn't realized.

A lot had happened since she'd come to the Conservatory, yet this moment was perhaps the most terrifying of all. For the first time in her life, Alori was beginning to understand how a good person might find themselves venturing down a path of darkness. She had always pictured Ny'romi's Scepter of Truth as a weapon for smiting down enemies. But now she was realized the full scope of the divine weapon's purpose. Enemies weren't always liars. Sometimes deceit lived in those who were closest to us, the ones we believed we could trust.

Love and shame were a dangerous combination, but Alori's path was decided. Keeping the truth from Taelan was tantamount to lying, and she was through with running from her fear, feeding its hungry power and toeing the line of no return.

She would tell Taelan what she'd done, and she would accept his reaction. Even if it broke her heart.