Cashiering isn't so bad [Creepypasta/Marble Hornets x Male reader]

The Clown Versus

   After a puff or two he felt someone's breath in his ear, the mime had gotten inside the store without triggering the bells at the top of the two doors and was now leaning against his counter and almost onto him.

   Then it spoke, and it was shockingly british. "You weren't going to invite me in? Rather rude if you ask me." M/n sighed through his nose, flicking ash off the tip of his cigarette and into the ashtray just underneath the cash register before shutting his eyes. A few seconds passed and it began to giggle, whether intentional or not it felt sinister, his voice was rough but it had been pitched. Mimicking nails on a chalkboard. "You can't ignore me—"

   "Candypop is a Genyr, which is Fae, which is Irish in nature, and Jason is... Jason so that must mean you're," he paused to look up at the mime with furrowed brows and he seemed intrigued by his ongoing thought process. "Jack?"

   Nodding, Jack clapped happily. "Oh good, I like when they're intelligent." His voice dropped an octave or two and M/n hoped that that was how he actually spoke. That his pitchyness was more or less an intimidation tactic. "Now how did you deduce that?"

   "Your accent- aren't you supposed to be a clown?" M/n turned his back to the rest of the store, deciding to lean against his own part of the counter for as long as he was entertaining Jack.

   In return he sputtered. "Excuse you, I AM a clown." His painted brows furrowing in exasperation. "What did you think I was?"

   "A mime?"

   "I've quickly decided I no longer think I like you." He deadpanned as he spoke.

   "I'll live. Aren't clowns supposed to be colorful?"

   "What can I say, I don't like rainbows."

   'Ah, he's homophobic,' M/n couldn't help but think to himself. As he further invaded his personal bubble M/n blew smoke into his face hoping it'd encourage him to lean back but all it seemed to do was pull him closer. Jack studied him thoroughly, looking him up and down with an unreadable face. Eventually he grinned, sharpened teeth glinting in the flourecent light. Before he could open his mouth to speak Jack had beat him to it.

   "I think I see why they like you so much." One of his massive hands creeped closer to M/n's torso.

   "Oh yeah?" He caught on to the implication too late and before he could swat his hand away a spindly finger had caught the hem of his shirt and yoinked it, exposing his stomach and chest.

   "You're quite the looker." Before Jack could get a good look at the message carved into his side M/n had slapped his hand away, his normally indifferent expression now furrowing into a glare.

   "Hands to yourself big guy." M/n side eyed him as he turned to finally put out his cig. He felt like it was useless to try and lecture a british, serial child killer, on boundaries, and it was, but that didn't keep him from saying something about it. "I don't know what you think you see in me but I am a modest man."

   "Jeff would say otherwise."

   "Jeff needs to keep his fat fucking mouth shut."

   Jack began that ear killing shrill giggle again, soaking in M/n's emotionally driven response. "Is that so?" Similarly to Jeff his question was rhetorical, only asked to mock M

even if it seldom worked to elicit a reaction. "I pray, do tell more, after all you were the one who opened your legs."

   "That was a drunken lapse in judgment." M/n replied plainly.

   "Are you absolutely certain about that? Because I think you're a—"

   "Why are you here?" Sally's voice cut him off before they both realized the doors had swung open. She squinted her eyes at both of them with a speculatory look, slowly reaching up above her head to a shelf right beside her, slowly pulling a pack of peanut M&m's out of its cardboard cubby divider. She eventually disappeared behind the aisle, the two pairs of eyes that silently watched her metaphorically breathing a sigh of relief and landing back on one another. They shared a glare before Jack's expression turned into something more akin to amusement.

   Rolling his eyes again, M/n smacked away another massive hand reaching towards his side.

  Sally showed back up a few seconds later, sweets piled in her arms up to her chin as she looked expectantly at Jack.

   "Oh," Jack said slowly, watching M/n help her load her items onto the counter. "Just checking out the new blood," His finger traced M/n's jawline while he was still distracted, dodging him as he tried to shove him off. At the very least he was learning quickly, but he still had no perception of personal space.

   As M/n went back to scanning out items Sally gave Jack a look as if he fuckef up. Realizing he did kind of, sorta, only a little, he didn't seem to care that much and only bothered to respond with an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders. The feathers on his costume swaying in sync.

   Jack slipped past M/n without so much as an 'Excuse me,' just to crouch beside Sally as she climbed onto her stool. He was tall enough that his head was still well above the counter, peering over it to stare up at M/n and then at the little girl.

  He was absolutely massive. It was freaky, but kind of hot. Kind of... just a little. He was still only a ragdoll, at the very least that's what M/n thought, and without any motive to test his hypothesis he was just gonna leave it at that. No intrusive thoughts about the color consistency of his unmentionables would change that. Hopefully

   While M/n was still bagging Sally's items, and mentally unraveling at the thought of finally understanding how fnaf simps feel about that one Security Breach character, Jack leaned closer toward her to half whisper in her direction.

   "He's kind of attractive, in a pathetic way."

   "Nina's obthessed with him." Sally half whispered back.

   "That makes sense, she likes men who can't get their lives together."

   "He doesn't like women though."

   "He's sexist?"

   "No, he'th gay."

   Jack let out a little 'ohhhh,' which finally broke M/n. And in an exasperated tone he said, "I can hear you."

   "Quit eavesdropping then." Sally snarked back. He took the cash she handed him, sorting it into his register before shutting it and glaring at her completely unimpressed. She feigned a fake sweet smile, handing him a wad of three twenties.

   "Sixty?" He seemed unsure.

   "Boss says thorry for tipping you short lately," she seemed to think for a moment. "And for the incident with jane."

   He looked at the sixty in his hand and couldn't help but echo the thoughts he had previously. A pity tip is still a tip, and so he pocketed it. "Yeah, sure. As long as he tips like that, consider it forgiven." He wasn't being completely honest. If he had a therapist the incident with Jane would be the only thing he'd talk about for years.

   It affected him more than he liked to admit.

   "I'll tell him."

   He nodded and grabbed his pack of cigs, feeling for his lighter in his pocket before leaving his little nook and heading for the door.

   "Wait, where are you going?" Sally asked.

   "I'm taking my fifteen. No offense, Jack, but this entire experience has officially made me a chainsmoker." Slipping the butt of his cig between his lips he half assed saluted the both of them before walking out, taking a seat on the sidewalk just in front of his store.

   "Oh god, what did you do to him?" Sally asked, which only reaffirmed the shit eating grin on Jack's face. There was an indescribable amount of pride he had in his work today, and to be honest it was probably because it was so annoying.