The Irish's Sanity

Chapter 16

He didn't mind, he didn't seem moved at all. I don't think that I hurt him, I was just surprised by the mark of my nails. What I did notice was the look he had on his face that was indescribable, he kind of looked amused when I would pause the movie and count to calm my self down or just remind myself that it's just a movie. These habits would die hard it was some of the things that stuck with Anele and I.

We both watched horror movies for the adrenaline, we didn't necessarily hate them or love them it was for the rush, we would watch them and then we would not sleep unless the light was on. We would literally go together to the bathroom and then hardly sleep. It was that bad. I think besides the rush we watched them because after we got over it we would laugh about it. I looked at his features with his eyes closed his breathing levelled.

He looked like a God. So peaceful but I knew better. Where would I even start how would I even ask him. I didn't know but what I did know was I wasn't heading in that toilet alone or without him awake and aware. The 'night light' really did help me otherwise I wouldn't even have fallen asleep to begin with. Today I was the one holding on to him and I'm a hundred percent sure he didn't mind.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He asked making me jump startled. I really thought he was asleep his eyes were still closed and I was still staring at him. I hated that he would know how much this actually affected me. I felt weak because as much as I tried to gather courage I couldn't. I was never a fan of the gruesome, I think being forced to live in the dark affected me. Things Serenity and I went through I wouldn't wish on anyone. A trauma that made me afraid of the dark.

"I-I need to pee."

"You have been awake for the past thirty minutes why haven't you?"

"I'm -sc-- I don't know." I gulped not being able to say it. That was when he opened his eyes and looked at me, his strikingly green eyes making me want to just disappear, I couldn't detect any thing as I looked at him.

"Isla you are scared to go to the bathroom." It wasn't a question for the first time since I've met him I saw slight confusion on his face as he lifted his brow.

"No-Maybe -Yes, the movie we watched -" my voice was low.

"You are scared to go to the bathroom because of something you saw in a movie." This didn't sound like a question either, I was scared to answer maybe he would be mad that I woke him up. My mind started to wonder. It reminded me of my sister 'you can easily knock a grown man out but you are scared of going to the fucking bathroom.' I missed her.

"Yes- but I'll just go back to sleep I'm sorry I woke you up Lachlan -" my heart rate was starting to increase because I thought maybe he would be displeased with me, I don't think I truly did think this through and I definitely shouldn't have watched that movie. Aside from that I felt like maybe I was getting too comfortable with him.

"Would you like to switch on the lights?" He asked making everything around me seem to stop of every answer I went through in my head I didn't think he would say this. For a second I searched his face, analysing him. He always looked either serious or nonchalant.

"Really?" I asked amazed, he didn't say anything but just looked at me. I still couldn't believe it it made me wonder why. I didn't know what I truly expected but I knew it got gruesome and it wasn't this.

"No- thank you but please just sit up so I can go- to the bathroom." I finally asked, he didn't complain, he just complied and watched me as I rushed into the bathroom and did my business. It wasn't even like he could see me but just the thought of him being awake and aware squashed that fear. I washed my hands, wiped them before returning to bed, my head on his chest with his arms around me. Lachlan would never just let me sleep with space from him, but tonight I wasn't really complaining.