Sinfully Yours

Bonus Chapter

Yet all my efforts came smacking me in the face as a wake-up call when she reminded me who I am. When she shot me only one question that I couldn't answer. I didn't know how to answer.

Can you forgive your father and Camila?

Can I? I can't right? Then why do I expect her to give me a chance when I fall in the same line with those coward dogs? They were my tormentor and I was her tormentor then why do I want her to stay with me and accept me?

Hypocrite. Yes, I accepted I was being a hypocrite wanting the woman I hurt to accept me at my bare minimum efforts. Yes, I was being selfish wanting to feel her love. Wanting her to touch me with softness. To comfort me not out of pity but with a touch of acceptance and genuine care.

A ruthless cunning mafia boss Cyrus Sylvester was a foolish man when it comes to the woman he wanted. The woman he cared for. The woman for whom he can give up on his everything.

The woman he loves the most.

She made me realize what love is. Definition of love I wasn't familiar with. I embraced the meaning she explained that night. And considered that explanation as love and that's when I knew I was digging my own grave. And I didn't even know when I fell into it and closed my eyes.

Because the moment I let her go I realized what pain is. The damage was beyond measure. I never felt that kind of pain even when I was hurt by my mother, father, or even that bitch. I never thought anything can make me fall on my knees and cry once again. But her separation caused it.

I knew I had gotten separation anxiety disorder. That psychiatrist told me and she even warned me that this separation is going to be the hardest part of my life. Even though several times I felt like running to her and bringing her back but whenever I remembered her last words I knew I couldn't do that.

I don't like him! I will never!

Even though those two months were the most painful time of my life I still didn't give up on my desire of getting her back. Life seemed easier when she wasn't in it but life was far more beautiful when she appeared.

I thought the happiest day of my was the time I killed my father. No killing that bitch didn't give me as much satisfaction as the time I killed my father. Yes, I killed him. And I don't feel even one ounce of regret for it. I can even say that I wanted to kill him more painfully but alas! For my safety, I had to do it fast.

Even after I went to my grandfather's house for further training that bitch of a man didn't leave me. He was at my throat at every chance he got. He was the worst leader our gang ever got. He forced minors into this bloody world and forced them to kill people. And I was one of them. At the age of 17, I was forced to kill 20 people in one day. In that fight, I got 4 bullets and was sure that I wouldn't survive.

I had seen death right before my eyes that time but again it wasn't my fate because the next moment I knew I was still alive. Slowly slowly that man started becoming an eye sore to me. His face irked me, his presence suffocated me and even the slightest mention of his name angered me.

I wanted his blood. I knew the moment he will die I will be forced to wear that bracelet that all mafia bosses inherit but I didn't care. That time I only wanted his blood that's it! And the night we went to talk to Russians I got a chance to kill that bastard. Russians never liked my father and each time we went to Russia for our business we always got attacked by them and that night too it was a usual fight.

But seeing my father alone in the alley something got over my mind and placing the knob of a revolver I killed him on spot by shoving three bullets in his head. I knew the death was too simple for him but I didn't care. I just wanted to wipe it away from my life.

The look he gave me I still remember it. The horror in his eyes and disbelief all over his face was my paradise. And the second I put bullets in his skull was the moment I felt like I have conquered everything. The biggest burden of my life was finally gone.

I left the place with a satisfied smirk and when our men found his body everyone thought the Russians killed him and that's how I become the next leader of the gang. It wasn't like I wanted that position but I knew that was the only way I could become the powerful man I wanted to be. At that time I wanted to be powerful so I could find my mother but after that hope was crushed too, I wanted only power and power. I lived for myself.

I knew I wasn't exactly living but surviving till she entered my life. My sweetheart, my love, my one and only. My Hazel. And then I realized the happiest day of my life wasn't the day I killed my father.

It was the day she ran back into my arms hugging me like she was afraid of losing me. The night she looked right into my eyes and said she wanted to stay with me. The night she forgave me. The night she held my hand with her own will.

That night was the happiest one of my life when I finally regain the hope I thought will be crushed again. That night I realized my fate in God wasn't in vain. I was wrecked throughout my life only for him to give me an angel in return.

I hurt her. I can never deny it. I was a monster to her and I never expected her to forgive me or accept me after I let her go but maybe my fate finally decided to have a little mercy on me. Because now when I feel her beside me. In my arms, I accept the truth each time that I wasn't made for her but still, I wasn't ready to let her go ever.

She was a beautiful light that brighten the dark cage of loneliness I was surviving in. She made me live again.

Live for her. For us.

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