Ctrl + Alt + Dalt (BxB)

Ctrl + Alt + Dalt + 1

I don't know where to begin with how I should even try to explain myself to the group, or to whom I should even reply to first—too many messages from too many people, simultaneously. I don't feel like I have to respond right away, seeing as how it wasn't even my fault, really.

Needing a little bit of quiet time to think, I set my phone to silent mode, but I find myself frozen in place as I glimpse a text message that bears a name that I haven't seen in a very long time—the only name that I've seen so far that isn't from the popular group, or at least, they're not in it anymore and not since a very long time ago.

I search for the name, typing, 'Jordan', into my messages app to find the text from out of all the chaos. His message reads, 'Hey, we haven't seen each other for a while, but wanna grab a bite sometime?' That's an odd message, considering the news—seems rather too soon, if you ask me. I stop myself—just because he's gay, doesn't mean that he's trying to get me to be his boyfriend. I'm straight—he knows that I'm straight—but more importantly, we're hardly even on speaking terms. I check the time it was sent. 7:03 a.m. That was long before the date drama even happened. Strange. Why am I only seeing this message now?

After spending nearly the whole rest of the day calming the storm, texting everyone about my side of the story, the unease of what caused it all to begin with only manages to get stronger. In the pit of my churning guts, everything still doesn't feel right at all—as if I'm just living the wrong life, entirely. I don't know what it is, but the more I think about that message—Jordan's text—and the more I think about ignoring it—that unease—that churning—that shudder gets worse.

I pull up Jordan's text and find myself staring at it for several minutes on end. Reading it is one thing, but replying would be something else entirely. I could get into major trouble if the popular group finds out. I shudder. I'm not in high school anymore. How would anyone ever know anyway? How could they ever find out? I'm a newly-made adult, I can surely interact with whomever I choose to. Right?

Honestly, I don't know what comes over me, but I watch as my fingers, seemingly of their own volition, finally send him my reply, 'Do you want to meet up tonight?"

~ ~ ~

"Of course she stormed off on you. That girl can't handle a single word containing more than five syllables, let alone any kind of deep, meaningful conversation—that would require more brain cells than she could ever afford to spare—what?—with breathing and all taking up most of her concentration," Jordan says as he finishes making tea for the both of us while I sit at the black, faux-marble counter that separates the kitchen portion from the living room of his studio apartment.

I find it surprising that we're talking to each other as if we're still friends and as if nothing ever happened. Although, what I find even more surprising is that our sudden reunion, despite our long estrangement, feels, oddly, natural. Honestly, I don't know why I feel so comfortable with him right now. It feels nice to see him again just to hang out and chat, even though the bulk of the conversation so far has been about what happened with me and Beth.

"Thanks," I say, nodding in agreement as I accept the cup of tea from him. I feel bad about not defending her at all, but maybe that's because I'm finally seeing the truth about her. Besides, it's not really my prerogative anymore, since, technically, I did break up with her. Or, did she break up with me, technically, because of the misunderstanding? "Should I patch things up with her?"

"Why?" He coughs, nearly choking on his test sip of the boiling-hot tea. He picks up the stool next to me and replaces it on the other side of the counter to sit down opposite me. "No."