Death is permanent

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"It's okay Charles" Christian gently encouraged him and Charles followed hesitantly.

The nurse approached them with a warm smile on her face. As she got close Charles tried to read her expression, was she smiling because it was all okay or because she was already trying to comfort him. Surely you wouldn't smile if you were about to deliver devastating news.

"He's conscious"

Not for the first time that day Charles burst into tears, this time through pure relief.

"He has suffered some mild traumatic brain injury. He's concussed but he should be okay" the nurse continued as she led them through the maze of corridors.

"Should be okay?" Charles didn't like the element of doubt, traumatic brain injury didn't sound like something mild.

"We need to keep him in to monitor him. He's nauseous and still dizzy but he appears to be doing quite well considering what happened. Don't worry if he appears a little dazed, his speech is slurred but we expect that to improve shortly."

Charles wasn't completely satisfied. The nurse's tone was positive but the words brain trauma and slurred speech seemed anything but good especially accompanied by 'should be okay' and 'expected to improve'. He wanted some reassurance that Max was definitely going to be okay. Now wasn't the time for further questions though because as they walked into the private hospital room he saw Max propped up in bed. The Dutchman's face lit up when he saw Charles in the doorway and the Ferrari driver ran over and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend and placed a soft kiss on his lips.

"Max I was so worried about you"

"I'm sorry Charlie I didn't mean to scare you"

Charles had been prepared for the slurred speech but he couldn't help but notice Max's response was a little slow, he really did look exhausted and his eyes were glazed over like he was struggling to focus on anything. Even so he still had that beautiful smile on his face and he was trying his best to give Charles his full attention.

"How long was I out for? Did the race already finish?" Max was somewhat confused to see both Charles and Christian there, he hadn't expected to see them quite so soon.

"I didn't get back in the car. Mattia let me come straight here" Charles explained.

"That was nice of him. Maybe it was his way of thanking you for the shower selfie" Max slurred a little and then laughed to himself.

Charles felt himself blush at the reminder of possibly one of the most embarrassing moments of his life but he was more than pleased that Max was already well enough to be teasing him.

"I think I will leave you two alone for a few minutes" Christian mumbled. Now he was safe in the knowledge that Max was fine he didn't feel the need to hang around to find out why Charles was sending questionable selfies to his team principle.

Charles remained perched on the edge of the hospital bed, running his fingers through Max's hair. The Dutchman was struggling to keep his eyes open as he felt the exhaustion taking over. As Max moved across and motioned for Charles to join him, the younger man couldn't resist and climbed into the tiny hospital bed and snuggled up next to his boyfriend. The nurses would probably be less than happy but he didn't really care.

As Charles let the relief wash over him he felt a few tears running down his face and then felt Max softly brush them away.

"Honestly, Charlie I'm okay"

For a man who had just collided with a wall Max really did look okay but his reassurances weren't enough for Charles. He knew everything wasn't completely okay. When he gently questioned Max about the accident it quickly became apparent that once again he had passed out, possibly after another panic attack although for all Charles knew it was caused by something else entirely.

"I told them I passed out before I hit the wall" Max admitted

Max knew that it would be clear from the telemetry that there was no issue with the car and it seemed unlikely that he would be able to convince everyone that it was simple driver error seen as he was pretty sure he had just driven straight off track. Charles would have been relieved about the honesty if it hadn't been for the fact that Max had then added that he had told them his water system had broken and he was sure it was heat exhaustion. A one off, nothing to be concerned about long term.

"You have to tell someone what has been happening. You have to get proper help"

Charles was practically begging but Max was adamant he would not be telling anyone anything that could get his race seat taken away from him. He was convinced he was getting better and that the whole thing would be over soon. Charles was not convinced and as Christian said his goodbyes Charles decided to follow him.

He knew Max was going to be furious at him for going behind his back and talking to Christian but he felt deep down that it was the right thing to do. The accident in Spa could have killed Max, he could have died from pneumonia after passing out in the streets of Monza and he was lucky to only have a concussion after his most recent accident. The next accident could easily be fatal.

"Christian, I think we need to talk about Max"

Charles felt his heart sink imagining how Max was going to react to what he was about to do. He wasn't sure if he would ever forgive him but he was ready to take Max's anger if it could save his life. Anger fades, death is permanent.

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Sorry for the angst!! 

Once again thank you so much to every one who has voted and commented and read the previous chapters. You are all amazing and I can't believe this book has had 20k views, I honestly never ever expected that, I didn't think anyone would end up reading!!  <3 <3

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