Depressed Peter parker

Two

Trigger warning: self harm,suicidal thoughts.

I woke up from Harry falling out of bed

„Are you okay?" I asked with a worried voice

„Yeah it happens" he stayed up

„At least I'm full awake now" he laughed

I had to smile a bit it was the first time in a long time I actually smiled and not forced it.

"Wanna get breakfast together?" he asked while changing his clothes I looked away

„Sure let me just change" I grapped some clothes and ran to the bathroom

i looked in the mirror I hold a blade of my pocket. I starred at it. It all started because of flash then mr stark died and it turned out worse when aunt may died.

A voice in my head spoke to me

Do it come on you know it's feels good
You deserve it
Mr stark is dead because of you
May died because of you
Everyone dies because of you

I hold the blade to my wrist

Do it
Your useless
No one cares
No one knows you anyway nobody would miss you when your gone

No i say to myself crying .

Do it

I silce my wrist open. I saw the blood dripping on the floor I toke some tissue and hold it against the wound

„what have I done?" I asked myself  when I hear a knock on the door

"peter you okay in there?" it was Harry he sounded worried

"Yeah I'm almost done one second" I changed into a hoodie and a jeans. I put a tissue on the wound so it wouldn't came to show on my hoodie

I opened the door I saw Harry sitting there on the floor  he looked up at me with a worried look

„You okay?" he asked again and stayed up

„Yes" I lied

Then we went down  the cafeteria for breakfast
I wasn't really hungry so I just eat a bit Salat
Harry had pancakes

"So...you know the avengers?" he asked while slicing his pancakes in half

„Yeah I know them but the original six are mostly dead"

„Yeah right."

„So where do you came from?" I asked

„Brooklyn"

„cool me too strange we didn't meet"

„Yeah... wanna go out or something?" he asked finishing eating his pancake

„Like in a Bar?" I asked and eat a piece of my Salat

„Yeah like that"

„okay...sounds fun"

But I wasn't really in the mood for that I just wanted to go to bed again and sleep and never wake up again. But I also didn't want to hurt his feelings scince he was a nice guy and I liked him.

„I need to go to the bathroom" I said and stayed up.
I walked to the bathroom and locked the door I rolled up my sleeve it was still bleeding I put more tissue on it and rolled my sleeves down again. Then I want back to Harry.

„You okay?" he looked at me

"Yeah let's go" I said and followed him outside

We walked five minutes until we arrived at a small shapy house

"This is a bar?" I asked

"wait...you never were in a bar? He faced me with a superised look

"Well...no" I looked down that the ground

I mean I don't get the whole bar things anyway and to  be honest I don't drink alcohol

"Well then...do you even want  to be in a bar?"

I stayed silent

"It's okay if not there are lots of other things we can do then to visit a bar"

"To be honest I don't like bars I don't even like alcohol"

"That's  okay we can just go get some ice cream"

"sounds nice"

I think we will be friends very good friends
We walked down to an ice cáfe when we entered the cáfe I saw Ned and mj they were in the same college like me. And then I was sad because I knew I just couldn't go to them and tell them who I was without them being in danger.

Harry and me were a seat back at them

"What's you favourite flavour?" he picked up the menu card

"Chocolate and strawberry what's yours?"

"Lemon and blueberry"

We ordered our  favorite flavours while waiting for the ice cream we talked about what our plans were and what we did before college. Harry was actually nice and smart he like scince too he wants to work in a labor and do experiments that people would help after college. I want to do that what mr stark did. without the weapons. So basically just inviting new technology. Or the same thing Harry want. I'm not sure yet.

I looked at mj and Ned it seemed like they had a nice time too. And that's all I had to know that they happy without me. That they save that's all I had to know so I went back to looking at Harry. Our ice cream came while we eat we laughed and talked it was one of the most nicest times I had since mr stark and aunt may died.

When we finished eating Harry looked at me
"You have something there"  he wished the rest of my ice  cream away from my mouth

"Thank you"

I think to others it would look like a date when it really wasn't...wait or was it a date and I didn't knew that? I wouldn't mind when it was a date though

"how's your back?" I asked remembering how he felt off his bed in the morning and laughed a bit at this

"It's fine thanks for asking" Harry smiled at me

We payed our ice cream and went back to the college and into our room.

I grapped my Pyjama and went to the bathroom again I closed the door. I changed into my Pyjama I looked at my wrist it didn't bleed anymore. I threw the bloody tissue away. I just felt a bit dizzy but nothing to worry about. I went back to mine and Harry's room

"You okay?" He asked for what it feels like  the thousand times this day

"Yeah" I said laying down in my bed looking at the celing like yesterday but with the difference that today I was smiling as I felt asleep