save me a spark - stray kids

9: ive had enough.

"seungmin, calm down. he's gonna be fine." chan said, reassuring the crying younger.
"i cant fucking calm down! my boyfriend just overdosed on a hard drug i've been trying to slowly get him off! i love him more than everything in my body!" seungmin shouted.
"seungmin, we all love him.."
"no! not half as much as i do. he.. he means everything to me." seungmin said, taking a deep, shaky breath.
"we understand-"
"no! you don't fucking understand!" seungmin sobbed.
chan jisung hugged the younger to his chest as he cried.
they waited for what felt like hours before they finally called telling them they could see minho.
when they walked in, the older was asleep on the bed, pale.
"you guys are lucky. if you wouldn't have put him under that shower he wouldn't have made it."
that just broke seungmin even more.
he fell to his knees as jeongin held onto him, going down with him.
"shhh it's okay." he soothed.
sobs wracked seungmins body.
pent up emotions from the last few days, finally coming out.
"he needs some rest. he should be good to go home tomorrow." the nurse said, walking out.
"i-i can't be in h-here." seungmin stuttered, standing up.
"what if he wakes up?"
"i-i c-"
"let him go."
everyone shifted their heads towards a half asleep minho.
"i-"
"go minnie. i'll be right here." minho said.
seungmin hesitantly nodded before quickly leaving the room.
"you gave us quite the scare, bud." changbin laughed.
"i know. i'm sorry guys. i got.. carried away. it was weird. they were all very persistent that i kept going." minho explained.
"that is odd. but, hey. you're awake now." chan said.
"is seungmin okay?"
"he spent a good while on the verge of throwing up from crying so hard, but other then right now, i think he's okay." hyunjin said.
"should someone go check on him?" felix asked.
"no, give him five minutes. if he's not back, go get him." minho said.
"what's he doing?" jisung asked.
"he was panicking. he doesn't like being touched when he's panicking."
"what, is it like a ptsd thing?" jeongin asked, minho nodding.
"from the last time i od'd."
"last time?"
minho sighed, closing his eyes.
this isn't exactly how he wanted to remember meeting seungmin.
"uhm, yeah. but let's talk about that at home."
everyone just nodded, they all knew each others boundaries, and they knew that if it wasn't the time to talk about something, they wouldn't.
"someone go check on him." minho said.
felix nodded and went to go find seungmin.
it took a while, from getting lost to bumping into a nurse, he finally found the exit.
he slowly walked outside and saw seungmin sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, cigarette in hand.
felix carefully walked over to him, and sat down.
"hey."
"hey."
"i thought you quit smoking?"
seungmin just sighed and took another drag before tossing it on the ground.
"i did. but then i didnt." he said.
"he's awake. talking to us. he's okay." felix said.
"i know. but i just need a second."
"does he know you're smoking again?" felix asked.
seungmin nodded, looking at his hands.
"i'm trying to quit again. but i've smoked three since i've been out here, so i don't think i'm gonna be able to quit so easily."
felix just nodded, acknowledging what the boy said.
"come on, let's get going." felix said, standing up.
seungmin stood up, and the two walked into the hospital, straight to minhos room.
no words were exchanged as minho lifted the blanket, and seungmin slid himself into the bed, minho pulling him close.
"you smell like smoke." minho whispered.
"i know.."
"im sorry, minnie."
"i know..."

"how'd you talk them out of not making you go back to rehab?" chan asked, sitting on the couch.
"i pulled a few strings." minho laughed, walking to the kitchen.
seungmin just stood there in front of the door staring at everyone.
they were all laughing and chilling out, like nothing even happened.
minho was making dinner, chan was watching tv, hyunjin was reading with felix next to him.
none of it made sense.
"what the fuck?!" he shouted.
everyone stopped what they were doing to look at the younger.
"what's wrong baby?" minho asked.
"what's wrong?! what's fucking wrong?! what's wrong is you just got back from the fucking hospital after overdosing for the second fucking time since i met you, and everyone's acting like it never happened!"
"min, that's not what-" before felix could finish his sentence he was interrupted by the younger.
"no! it is! can you not fucking see how fucked our lives are?! i-i.. i am eighteen years old! i have been with every single one of you, every single day, for the last fucking four?! five years?! when i fucking met minho, he was overdosed on the side of the alley, i was thirteen!" seungmin screamed, throwing his things on the floor.
"a thirteen year old shouldn't see that! a thirteen year old, shouldn't be with a seventeen year old at all! just like a seventeen year old, shouldn't be with a fucking twenty-three year old, jeongin! i'm fucking tired. i've had enough. we spent the last two fucking years hiding from police, because we are run aways who wan away from out shitty fucking prints!"
everyone just sat in silence, listening to seungmin shout at them.
every so often, someone breaks down.
huh no one has ever broken down like this before.
"i've had enough! minhos a fucking coke addict, jisung can't go a day without getting fucking high, he's never fucking sober! none of us are, i wouldnt put it past one of you guys to have a fucking std, we all whore around like a bunch of fucking skanks! and you can't deny it either, because the whole reason me and jisung even had sex the other day, was because changbin went to go fuck some whore across town! you know how fucked we sound?! we can't keep living like this! in a fucking warehouse with no heat, no air conditioning, fucking mold! this place is disgusting! when's the last time any of us even had a proper fucking shower, without the water running cold!?"
seungmin stood there, wiping his mouth of the spit that sprayed when he shouted.
his throat hurt, and he was out of breath.
"i love you guys.. but i cant live like this anymore... we either have to fix this shit, get a good home, get good jobs, and clean the fuck up.. or i'm leaving. i'm leaving and i'll do it on my own. because the last thing i need, is to wake up a-and find one of you guys fucking dead." seungmin whispered before walking to his room and shutting the door.
"he's right." jisung said.
everyone looked over at the boy, confused.
"this place is gross, all we do is party and have sex. we drink, we smoke. we whore around. we need to clean up our acts. get good jobs, get a nice home." he said.
"howre we gonna do that? we have no money, this place reeks. no one's gonna let us have jobs we have tattoos and piercings and funny colored hair, and we're all gay." jeongin said.
"no one said we had to quit what we're doing. we can still smoke weed, just not every second of the day. we can still go to parties, just not every single night. we can drink but only at those parties or on special occasions. and, minho, you'll have to go back to rehab." chan said.
"okay." minho said, simply.
it didn't bother him, going to rehab.
did he like it? no. but it helped him. and this new life they they are going to have to create, will help him stay clean. not only for himself but for seungmin as well. 
"i have a massive savings account that has over 200 thousand dollars in it. we can buy a house and some furniture with it. some food too."  hyunjin said.
"where'd you get that money?" chan asked.
"i've had it saved up. for one day if me and felix ever bought a house together. but.. after what just happened, i realized that none of us are going away from each other any time soon. and if that money could be used to keep us all together for much longer, then i'll put it to some use. to help all of us." hyunjin explained.
"tomorrow, we all scout for jobs. as of right now, we clean this place up. and we will keep it that way, until we get a house for all of us. then we say goodbye to this place." chan said.
everyone nodded, happiness filled the air as they cleaned up the warehouse.
things were getting put together.
like it should be.