pretty boy / rinney

3

(last "chapter" I wrote time instead of tone so it meant to say tone)
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Once it hit I couldn't stop thinking about it. It was so bad that I was having my hand draw on its own.

".. Finney!" Robin whisper yelled. "What?" I snapped up looking at him. "She called on you" he whispered.

"Oh- I yes?"

"No. The answer is No. An onomatopoeia is not the same thing a as a synonym."

Fuck that was so obvious. The class began to laugh and I looked down in shock. As I was zoned out it looks like I drew a pretty spot on drawing of that fucking mask.

I shut my note book quickly. I looked up to Robin. I could feel his eyes staring towards me and the notebook.

He noticed and moved his eyes back to the board swiftly.
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Alright one period down, three to go.
I only have literacy, math, history, and broadcasting with him. Not awful. Actually it is pretty awful.

I literally have every other period with him so at lunch it goes history, lunch, math. So just back to back to back.

Why did I dread him so much? Was it his tone? My anxiety? Maybe he did intimidate me..?

I tried to quit thinking about it. I sat at the table I was sitting at the last 3 days and i pulled out my lunch.

I saw him walking towards me. I've never felt so anxious in my life. The anxious feeling remind me of the time I saw balloons in the grabbers van.

It wouldn't get out of his head. He was still pretty traumatized by everything. It's only been 1 1/2 weeks. I don't know why my dad made me go to school so quickly.

My thoughts drowned me. So much that I forgot he was walking towards me.

"Finney" I hated how he said my name. He was so weird about it.

"What?" I looked up. "You still coming over tomorrow" he began to pull a seat out.

"Why are you having me come over anyway? To beat me up?" I said in a tone I regretted instantly.

"What?" He laughed in between the letters. "Why do you want me to?" He finished.

I looked up and flipped him off. He wouldn't understand. The pain I went through only months ago. Those group of boys. Punched me til I was bleeding.

Bleeding like hell. Nurse worthy blood. Hospital worthy. Emergency room worthy. But no one believed. I was too good at hiding it. Which is why I'm good at hiding emotions.

Which is why I can't tell Gwen anymore. Because I forgot how. I realized I was stuck in my mind again. These thoughts were going as some one was speaking. I just zoned them out.

".. finn.? .... Finney you good? .. Finney!" He snapped he back into existence.

"Woah! What?!"
"You totally just like died!" He said sounding some how concerned.

"Is the counselor here good?" I said.

"I mean I think-?" He said before I got up.

"Thanks." I grabbed my bag and began walking towards the office. I realized I didn't know where the counselor office was. I needed to talk to someone.

Just.. him? He gave me some sort of feeling. I don't know if it was good or bad but it was definitely a feeling.

I walked into the bathroom.

I realized what this was. Some sort of episode like thing where I was not in control of what I was thinking. Well maybe I was. Maybe it wasn't an episode. Maybe the grabber is just haunting me.

Drawing usually calms me down. I grabbed my ear phones and note book and began listening to music as I tried to find a blank page.

"FUCK!" I yelled throwing my book. Some kid came running in.

"You okay?"

I was still looking towards my book across the stall. "Dude I could've been shitting in here- oh my fucking god..." I looked up and saw Robin again.

"Are you a fucking stalker?" I was getting mad. "Woah!! No! I had to take a piss I just heard something crash and then you yelled fuck I thought something happened"

I didn't answer.
"So... what happened..?" He asked grabbing to note book to hand it to me.

The page was stuck on it.
The reason I yelled fuck.
The stupid fucking mask.

"Woah this is cool! But.. what is it?" He said. "Sweet looking mask" he finished.

"Stop stop stop!" I yelled. I could feel tears rolling down my eyes. Why am I like this? Why am I crying?

Why now?
Why him?

I was sitting with my head on my legs looking down at my stomach.

"Okay! Im sorry hears you book back" he tried to give it back but I didn't know how to tell him she was making everything worse.

I wouldn't take it. I just continued to cry in my legs.

"Finney I'm sorry take your book back! I-"
He wouldn't leave. I was making a massive fool out of myself.

I finally paused the crying to grab the book and put my legs down.

Robin was so confused I felt bad. I snatched it and began ripping the page and stabbing it.
It must've scared Robin.

"Okay I understand if you don't like me but just because I said you're drawing is good doesn't mean you have to demolish it" he tried to explain.

"You don't understand." I said hiding my breaking voice. "No. No I don't" he said.

"What the fuck happened" he said raising his eyebrows.

He knew he should tell him. He just didn't know how.

"the grabber.
the grabber wore that mask"
I said.

"why'd your draw it?" Robin said in a soft voice. He felt bad after. It was a rude question.

"I didn't. my hands didn't without me noticing"

Robin thought it was cool. He just couldn't tell him.

"alright" he took his hand and pulled him into a hug. Finney tried not to cry.

He hasn't been hugged like this in a while.
Not since his mom.