The Light to his Darkness (Mafia Romance) {18+}

Chapter 14 - Closure

Lauren's Pov
October 28th

Dear dad,
I miss you every time i close my eyes . Sometimes, when i really concentrate , i feel a warm breeze against my skin and a cinnamon aroma fills my nose- reminding me of your love. I hope on the other side you haven't forgotten your little girl because there's not a day that i would forget about you . You left me too soon with out a goodbye and after 18 years , i forgive you for it . I know you had no control over it and if you could be here you would be .
I've dedicated my life to helping children like me and i hope that you're proud of who i've become . I'm a little stressed but slowly finding happiness. I met an amazing guy , i have Aniyah -you would've loved her and her family , and i even have a cat that you would've liked even though you hate cats. I would give anything for one of your bear hugs , your famous hot chocolate and your silly faces . I would give anything to hear your dad jokes , to get your kisses on the forehead , to go to the beach together  and watch the waves .
         When i get older and decide to have kids , i'll tell them all about how smart and amazing their grandfather was. I'll bring them to the beach and we'll watch the waves when they get frustrated. I hope you'll join me from the other side .
i miss you daddy .
- your little monster , Lauren .
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Dear Mom,
Moving through life without you as a black women has been horrible. I needed you and i'm sorry for holding so much resentment. I know dad was the love of your life but you left me and for a long time , i couldn't forgive you for that . I want you to know that i forgive you now and i hope you don't blame yourself . Watching dad die broke you as much as it broke me and as heavy as this makes my heart , i'm glad you guys are together again.
        I miss our little talks and our secrets that i will forever keep with me. I never forgot them and will keep them in my memories. I wish you were here to give me advice on how to love , how to be loved because mom, i'm failing at this . I have people who want to be with me and i can't accept it because of my own stupid fears . I want the love that you and dad had and i wish you were here to tell me how you got it .
         I promise if i woke up and saw you again i would never complain about the extra books you made me read , or the ponytail you used to strangle my curly hair with. I would listen to every word you said , engraving it in my mind . I would never complain again about  eating the crust from the sandwiches or your sad attempt for me to make new friends. I wish i would've turned out more like you : Loving , nice , genuine, giving , social but i'm not and despite that , i hope you're still proud. I know you would shake your head at my fights , and my smoking and my sharp tongue but i hope you would see that inside - i'm still that terrified 8 year old girl who lost everything . I'm still angry and i know with time that goes away so always keep me in your heart from the other side.
i love you mama
- Lauren
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       I spent last night crying myself to sleep . It felt good to put my words on to paper and i did feel some weight lifted off my shoulders. Axel offered to come from last night but i needed to do this alone and i couldn't take the pity stares right now.   I layed in bed in my dad's sweater and looked over at the time.

5:30 am

Axels words ring in my ears 'I want you to call me the second you want me there okay princess?' and after much contemplation, i decided to call him

-Ringgg—
Axel picked up in the cutest sleepy voice

A: ...Yes Princess
L: Can you come get me please?