What we've always been.

6. Self-esteem.

CHAPTER SONG: Graveyard- Halsey

Alec

I hate the school bell. I mean seriously what sadistic idiot decided that the continuous annoying sound of a brass bell was the perfect way to let students know it's time for their next lesson. I turn a corner in the hallway and slam into someone.

"Shit, I'm sorry." I answer picking myself off the floor.

"Hi." Charlie says.

I look up at him and my heart does a somersault. He smiles at me and it only makes it worse. He's wearing a white sweater and matching shorts so he kinda looks like a freaking angel, which only makes it harder for me to speak.

"Where are you going?" He asks moving those soft lips of his.

I have to blink several times to pull myself out of the spell he has me under.

"Uh...english lit." I answer.

Charlie looks back at the Lit classroom as if measuring how far away it is from where he's going.

"I would walk you there but then I'll be late for practice." He says looking back at me.

"Right, swim team." I state a fact I learned while I was stalking him.

He smiles like he's pleased I know that, which he obviously isn't...right?

"Yeah. You should come watch us practice today after school." Charlie says.

"I don't know." I respond.

Charlie frowns dramatically making me smile at his antics.

"Oh come on. It would help me relax a bit if you came." He says.

I take a deep breath and consider it. People watch the swim team practice all the time, mostly it's pretty girls cheering on their boyfriends. I already know that going will be a very bad idea, I've survived high school so far because I avoid places and people I don't belong with. But Charlie's eyes make me forget all of that.

"Would it be enough for me to promise to make an effort to make it?" I ask.

Charlie shakes his head.

"All or nothing." He says.

I sigh.

"Okay." I give in.

Charlie stands a little closer and speaks softly making my brain go numb.

"Promise me." He says.

"Okay." I answer way too quickly.

In truth he could have asked for anything with his soft voice and adorable face and I would have agreed immediately.

Before anything else can be said the sadist bell rings. Charlie checks his watch and frowns, which odly enough makes him look even more attractive.

"I have to go." He says and his eyes meet mine. "Guess I'll see you later?" He says.

The gesture catches me by surprise. He's nervous...around me?.

"Yeah. Totes." I answer and he walks around me.

I can still feel his eyes on me so I turn around and find him walking backwards still looking at me. Eventually he winks at me and disappears behind the corner. I stand still for what feels like hours wondering if any of what I just experienced was real.

..............

I'm trying to focus on the king Lear analysis we're talking about today, but all my thoughts inevitably return to Charlie. I don't think I've ever seen him nervous before, ever. The emotion looked foreign and uncomfortable on him and it somehow makes me happy to know that I have that effect on him.