For better or worse

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Tom woke at 5am and groaned. He had been fighting sickness again for a couple of days and spent most of last night coughing until his throat was raw and his body ached. His head pounded but he dragged himself out for his morning run. Before he left he sent Kate his usual morning message: '31 days baby xx'. He smiled when he realised it was one month until she would be making her way back to him.

Ten minutes in, Tom stopped. Bent over with his hands on his thighs, he knew he couldn't go any further, his lungs burned, his chest hurt and his head swam. He could feel another coughing fit coming and crouched nearer to the ground, grateful there was no one else around. He felt so... weak. Coughing until he thought he might pass out, he sat down on the ground to get his breath back and noticed blood on his hand. That is not good. He sent a text to Declan asking him to make another appointment with the doctor for him this afternoon and walked home.

Kate woke early in Detroit to a message from Tom and smiled. One month. She had barely spoken to him the last two days, he had been filming from early morning well in to the night. When she had heard his voice he sounded tired and gravelly, and the hacking cough he had only just recovered from seemed to have returned with a vengeance. They had a gig tonight, an early flight to Chicago and then a whole day and night off. Kate couldn't wait, although she was thoroughly enjoying every minute. She got out of bed and went for a short run, relishing the fact that she was allowed to run again after injuring herself a few months earlier. When she returned her clothing clung to her with sweat, despite her frozen face and hands, and she took a long warm shower. When she got out she had a message from Tom and called him straight back. "Hello darling," he answered.

"Hey. Tom, you don't sound well."

"I'm not I don't think. I'm going to see the doctor again this afternoon. I think I'm just run down, we've had a huge week, long hours and not enough sleep."

"You promised to take care of yourself."

"I did, and I am as best I can. We're back to regular hours today and I'll get an early night. I just wanted to hear your voice before I have to get dressed."

"I love you Thomas. Let me know what the doctor says."

"I will, and I love you too."


"Tom? Are you OK?" Elizabeth looked at him worriedly.

"Yeah, I just need a moment. Sorry. Dec could you get me some water?"

"Here," Rodney pulled a chair up for him to sit down.

"I'm OK, really. Argh." He put his hand to the side of his head, it felt like someone had hit it with a sledge hammer. He could hear people talking around him, but the sounds all blended together and he was unable to form words. What the fuck is happening to me? He coughed again and blackness threatened to overcome him. Everything began to move in fast forward and slow motion all at once. He heard sirens and wondered what was happening, a paramedic gave him injections and oxygen and it seemed an eternity before he could take a breath, for a few moments he thought they were trying to kill him and he tried to fight against them. The next he opened his eyes there was a blinding light shining in his eyes and pain seared through his head before he could close them again. He heard a woman giving orders, using medical terms he didn't understand. He struggled to open his eyes again or make sense of the deafening sounds around him but it was too much, and he sank in to blackness.


"You're on fire, Kate. You'll be wanting to go solo before long," Ed said as they packed up backstage. "Guitar, tomorrow night. I'll let you know which chart."

"No,"

"Yes. You're ready, and if I didn't push you you'd never do it,"

"Shit," she said, looking at the missed calls and messages on her phone. She had two from Declan and without listening to the messages she called him first.

"You're doing- you ok?"

Kate put her hand up so he would be quiet. "Dec?"

"Kate thank god. Tom is sick."

"How sick, Dec?"

"Um, well... pretty sick."

"Declan, do I need to get there tonight? Tomorrow? Or does he just need to rest."

"He's in the hospital. We had to call an ambulance. He was coughing blood and then he collapsed. All the hospital will say is that he's stable, but I think they spoke to his mother."

"Oh, my god. OK I'll call her. Don't leave him Declan." Her hands shook as she hung up the phone and tried to dial Diana's number.

"Kate, what's wrong?" Ed had hold of her shoulders as her legs gave way. "Kate?"

"I don't know. Tom is sick, he's in hospital. I need to call his mum." He took the phone and found her number for her.

"Kate, it's Emma. Mum is just on the other phone. Where are you?"

"Uh, in Detroit. What- What's wrong with Tom? Have they talked to you?"

"Yes, he has some sort of infection but they don't know anything else. They mentioned a bunch of tests and a bunch of drugs. He's not conscious."

Oh my god. No.

"Kate? You ok?"

"I, uh. I don't think I can get a flight until tomorrow. Emma I don't know what to do! I have a day off tomorrow, but..."

"Kate, breathe. It's ok. Just get there as soon as you can, OK? We're looking at flights now if you think we need to come over."

Ed interjected, pointing at his phone. "I've got you on a flight but we have to go, now."

"Emma I have to go. I'll let you know what's happening as soon as I get there."

Ed and Kate ran to the car and he told the driver to take her to the airport. "I'll text you the details," he said, kissing her cheek and giving her a tight hug.

"Thank you," she said softly, getting in to the car.

Panic rose in Kate's stomach and she tried to force it back down. The knot wouldn't go away, wouldn't let her relax or stop her mind from racing. She didn't know what to think, who to call. She needed the time to go faster, needed to be by his side, now.

As the plane rose in to the sky she put her hands over her face and tried to hold the tears in, but it was no use. They spilled silently down her cheeks, falling on to her shirt. She realised now that she was still wearing the silver ruffly top she had worn for the gig tonight. She had grabbed her leather jacket and bag, but that was it. She had no clothes, they were all in her room with her guitar.

What am I going to do? I can't deal with this, I just can't. What if he doesn't wake up? Oh god what if he doesn't wake up?

Kate ran down the aisle to the bathroom, grateful the plane was only half full. Panic took over and she vomited until there was nothing left.

Pull it together, Katherine. He needs you.

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