S and I are best friends, right? I never thought I'd find myself questioning this. What could possibly make me question a two-year friendship where we even talked over the Summer?
It was the second day of school and in my second class, world history.
I've made it through getting along with others but not trying too hard to make any friends.
I attempted to be around people I could just talk to throughout the school year because I already had a best friend.
S and I had even been messaging and calling each other during and after school talking about our days.
It was in world history class that our dynamic as best friends would change and even lead to us never talking to each other again.
The teacher of the class wanted us to introduce ourselves individually to everyone. So we were told to walk around and talk to everyone. I had to reach out to ask some names because no one came up to talk to me.
After being told to sit down she started to call on people to see how many names everyone could remember.
I was then called on and said I can't remember everyone's name.
Here I am now standing in the back corner of the room where I chose my seat and I'm stuttering and embarrassed. The teacher heard my stuttering and said "Alvin?"
Sure...sure...that works right?
I looked at the person I just called Alvin and she whips her head around and states she is redacted NOT Alvin.
Oh shoot, did I just mess up on my second day of school? I sit down and the teacher stops calling on people and continues with the start of class. I continue to focus on my work and go to my next few classes.
There was a problem though, redacted was in several of my classes too.
I could tell I was the only one bothered by getting her name wrong so I thought the best thing to do was to get to know her.
In a way, I figured she would see I didn't mean to get her name wrong.
As I got to know her, I realized I was answering fewer messages and calls from Sienna.
It got to the point where I made the decision.
Should redacted become my best friend? I can have two best friends right?
I thought sure that could work.
It didn't work.
I had gotten completely caught up in talking with redacted that I neglected S.
This is something that I've come to regret and I sometimes wonder what would my high school experience be if I never met redacted
However, at this point in time, I was used to leaving old friends once I go to a new school so I did that.
I now only had one best friend and was trying hard to like everything redacted liked. I still don't know if it was obvious or not but I ended up liking everything she introduced me to. Of course, maybe I exaggerated there were some things I didn't like but I pretended to.
The second year of high school starts and I believe this is when S started to go to my High School. She messaged me with excitement hoping that we could start being friends and talking like we used to. Even though it was awkward for me I agreed that we could start hanging out again.
In my mind, this was someone who I purposely neglected as a best friend.
It was awkward for me the whole time.
I thought though that I could try to have redacted and S become friends too.
But they were so different.
S was still a little soft-spoken but had gained a lot of confidence in the time that I hadn't seen her.
On the other hand, redacted was a little rough around the edges. She seemingly had a lot of confidence in her actions and decisions.
This was not the best choice. They ended up on bad terms when something happened at a sleepover.
I wasn't planning on taking sides but foolishly I went with redacted's point of view and left S once again.
I never saw her again not just in the school halls but in the town. I still haven't even spoken with her to this day after that.
What happened at the sleepover was something I was able to overlook, as her friend...but I didn't want to ruin the friendship I had with my "best friend".
I now started to avoid S because that's what redacted did.
A terrible choice I now regret.
