After leaving S once again and never hearing anything since then, it was just me and redacted.
Sure I had family and school but those things stressed me out. However, when I was with redacted, we never had any stressful times, only fun and laughter.
I would soon find out that would change.
As she and I got closer, I found out a few things about redacted.
She seems to have been through a lot.
It would explain her rough personality because she had to mature at a young age. I looked up to how mature she was. She even seemed to have her whole future figured out and what career path she wanted for herself.
It drove, motivated, and inspired me to do better for myself.
Another thing I found out was that she was Bisexual, but it had no meaning to me though. I had never thought a person would be different just because of their sexuality, so I continued to treat her as usual.
I was curious though.
How does she know? How is she so sure? Am I sure? What do I like?
Just like how sure she was about her future and career she started to make me question my sexuality...
Do I like her?
Yeah, I do...she's my "best friend"
But how much do I like her?
Ever since then I started questioning my sexuality.
I've liked boys ever since I was young. Heck, I'd even chase them around the playground pretending I'd kiss them. My first crush was a boy and I only ever looked at boys.
But now I was looking everywhere at everyone. Analyzing and thinking if I liked girls too.
But what about beyond that? Instead of liking someone for their looks and romantically, what about sexually?
I went to the internet and it was at this time that I started my research.
Now...I could get into what I looked up and what I saw but I'm not into getting to the nitty gritty details.
What I deduced though was that I was definitely not just straight.
However, my feelings for both men and women never went beyond romantic. It was always platonic.
What happens now that I know?
It's not like I need to start dating anyone or anything. I don't even think I'm interested in kissing. The idea of it sounds gross to me.
I confided in redacted. I told her everything I looked up and all of my thoughts and even how I questioned how I felt about her.
Then the conversation went deep.
We discussed how much we liked each other and to what extent. How far would we be willing to go with each other? One thing for sure is that we both felt the same way. We could never get past being platonic. The idea of it was awkward for both of us.
Soulmates.
It was beyond friendship but didn't pass a certain line that we were both comfortable with.
We discussed our future together.
Living under one roof, marriage, and how much fun it would be to be together all the time.
It sounded like a dream.
