The Price You Pay

The Price You Pay: Chapter 20

They say that Google is your friend. Well, if that is so, then let's hope that the saying is true and friends don't lie.

I've looked up some information and it really shouldn't be so alarming that my period is late after I have been so sick. I just have to wait and see.

And keep my cool, because I honestly don't want this family to find out what is going on right now.

When Maya comes up to my room to bring me dinner, she sits down on the chair by my bed. I check and wait to see what will happen.

"Riddhima…" she starts.

I am still standing by the door and warp my arms around my mid section, apprehensive.

"I am so sorry about what happened with the box. Renee was right not to open it, but I would have liked it if I had been the one to give it to you. Did you expect this to happen?"

Yes. No. Maybe. Yes.

"We cannot change how things went last night. I am sorry you had to go through this."

I can't prevent my shrug. I'm over it now, I just hope they won't berate me. The message was clear. It's all my fault.

Maya is silent for a moment, and through the back of my mind flits the thought that dinner is getting cold.

"I didn't know it was that bad," Maya finally says softly, looking into nothingness as she speaks. Then she looks back at me. "I didn't know. I'm sorry."

I shake my head, eyes wide. She shouldn't be sorry. I'm the one that should be sorry.

Maybe I should tell her this. Walking to my bed stand I pick up the pen and paper lying there, and scribble something down.

It's not important.

"I think it is," Maya replies to my note. "I think it is important what Rajeev did to you with that box."

I shake my head, teeth worrying my lower lip. Should I write it down? Should I tell her that it's all my fault anyway?

I decide against it. Let's let these sleeping dogs lie. I show Maya my first note again, to emphasize my point.

"Well, I think it is," she repeats. "And I am sorry that you had to be confronted like that. We'll talk about this later. I'll let you have your dinner. Come and sit with us if you feel like it after?"

Meh.

I push the thoughts about the conversation away and eat, and try not to think about everything else.

Anything else.

It's not working.

After dinner, I find that I'm too anxious to keep sitting in my room and decide to try and go out for some fresh air. I've done that before and Maya didn't mind it then. If I stay close to the porch, surely I would be allowed out? Or would she still want me to sit with them, just like she asked?

Collecting some courage, I venture out into the silent hallway outside my room and make my way downstairs. I feel bad. Apart from the worrying about my period, I still have to let Maya and Ishani know that I really do appreciate their efforts, but that they just don't have to try it all. Just leave me be and don't bother with me, and I will be happy enough.

That's what I expect of them, come to think of the question Maya asked me ages ago.

Well, if I can suck up some courage, maybe I can let them know.

Some Malhotras are sitting in the living room, but I hope to be able to slip their notice as I make my way to the kitchen to put away my dishes. The dishwasher is already going, so I will have to wash it all by hand. Without thinking twice, I turn on the tap for hot water and look in some cabinets to find some soap and maybe a brush to clean my plate and glass.