Love, Kulu

THREE

"Allah ya jikan ta ya raya abun da ta Haifa." I sighed and muttered an Ameen for the millionth time today, it has been like this for the past week. I am honestly tired of the pity looks people have been giving me and I just want to go home, have a hot shower and sleep for at least 10 hours but that is not possible because I am still receiving guests.

They need to understand that I need some rest and space. My wife died right in front of me and as her life was taken and another was given to us in form of our daughter.

Death changes everything. I miss the sound of her voice, the wisdom in her advice, the stories of her life and just being in her presence.

I keep myself busy with different activities and thoughts but every time I pause, I still think of her.

I am currently at my father's house and since I can't go back home cause mama feels I might hurt myself which is not possible. Yes, my wife just passed away but I have a child that I have to live for.

I picked up my phone and called my immediate sibling, Humairah. "Baby can you come over please." She replied and I waited for her.

A faint knock came through and I responded. she walked into the room with a platter of food and I groaned. "Humairah I can't eat anything."

"No Turad, I will not leave this room until you eat at least half of these." She was adamant.

"Have you gone to see her?" She asked and I shook my head. "Is that how you want to be a father to her?" She questioned and I shook my head for the second time while munching on some fruits.

"Humairah, I am scared. I don't know what kind of father I might be. I want to blame her for Safiyah's death but....."

"Don't say that Turad, you shouldn't blame the innocent child. Don't tell me you don't believe in Qadr, destiny." She scolded and I brushed through my beard which I took notice of to trim it.

"I believe in Qadr....."

"Then you shouldn't be saying such things okay, have faith and go see your beautiful daughter. Don't worry just finish eating and take a nap, I will cover up for you." I nodded and thanked her. She patted my back and left the room not before commanding me to finish my food. I might be older than Humairah but she constantly behaves like the older one.

I finished eating and went through some work on my phone before taking a nap.

Hours later, I was awakened by my mother as she slightly tapped me. "Turad wake up, you have been sleeping for hours." I sat and supported my back by the headrest while mama sat at the edge of the bed.

"Mami what is it?" My voice sounded so hoarse.

"I wanted to talk to you." I nodded and paid attention to what she will say. "First of all when are you going to go see your daughter?"

"Tomorrow in sha Allah, I will go there with Al-Amin." She nodded.

"We had a meeting with the elders and we have concluded." I shot her a puzzled look and she sighed.

Mami looked nervous, this is not good news then.

"We concluded that after 40 days, we will be getting you and Hauwa married in sha Allah." I can't believe this! Who is this Hauwa?

I hope it is not the Hauwa I am think of

I just lost my wife and they are proposing for me to remarry. I can't agree with this!

"Mami....."

"Turad before you say anything, think about it, please. Your daughter needs both a father and mother figure in her life." I stood up furiously and started walking around the room trying to reduce the anger in me.