Devotion (Jikook)

Stay Away

My heart hurts, my head hurts...I suddenly feel sick.

"Jiminie-"

"Yup! That's me! Little Jiminie, right?!"

I'm being sarcastic.

Jungkook stares at me looking, confused. Sad, even. But how can he be sad? I'm giving him what he wants.

He sighs and rubs the back of his neck.

"Right..." He says.

I let out a dry laugh as I try not to start crying right here.

So, this is it. He wants nothing more. How can I be so stupid? Of course he doesn't want me.

I'm an annoying little boy.

"J-Jin is on his way to get me..."

Don't cry Jimin. Do not, look weaker than you already do.

"Jimin, I can take you home-"

"No need!"

I inhale deeply. I need to get a grip.

I step inside the house and dash to the bathroom.

Once in, I lock the door and throw myself on the floor. I hug myself as I rest my back against the wall. I'm crying. Crying harder than I have in years.

"I-I can't do this," I say through sobs.

He's making me go crazy, making my emotions all over the place. But he isn't even doing anything wrong. I can't force someone to be with me or to like me but God, it's hurts!

It hurts like hell.

But at least now, him and I both know
for sure, the truth without ever wondering...

He now knows I'm hopelessly in love with him.

I clench my chest as I feel my heart throb.

And I now know, officially...that Jungkook will never be mine.

         .                    .                    .

I feel bad for lying to Jin all weekend. He was constantly asking me if I was okay, and I'd brush it off with an,
I'm fine.

But, how can I tell him that I'm severely upset because "Your best friend Jungkook rejected me, your baby brother?"

Exactly, I can't!

Surprisingly, though, he left it alone, even after I said I am simply just exhausted. But, that part was true. I was exhausted, and I still am.

All weekend I didn't text or call anyone, I just slept instead. I didn't feel good emotionally nor physically.

He hasn't texted either. I've got a feeling he's probably weirded out now that he's had time to think about everything, so even if I didn't just want to distance myself for the sake of my feelings, he probably views me terribly now.

I sigh heavily as I finish washing my face and drying it. I need to hurry. Soobin and Yeonjun are on their way to get me. Yeah, I woke up really late today.

I look at my tired face and messy hair in the mirror with the strongest feeling of disgust I've ever, felt.

I look terrible.

I feel, terrible.

The thought of Jungkook, and the recognition of my sadness caused a tear to fall down my face.

Dang it, I'm already starting the day off with tears. I wipe my face as I rush to put on an outfit.

Black sweater, ripped black jeans, no makeup, and black converse. I roll my eyes at my outfit as I run downstairs.