The Magic School for the Utterly Hopeless (Completed/First Draft)

Chapter Twelve

'These redcaps can really move, can't they?' shrieks Peni as we run for our lives, passing the statue of a unicorn in the city's main square.

They sure can. Are they wearing magic speedy shoes or something?

The evil gnomes are almost at our feet. They're all cackling away and their eyes are glowing from the amulets.

This kind of reminds me of my favorite show, The Undead Zombie Vampires of the Cataclysm. There's a lot of chase scenes like this in that. And the zombie vampires have glowing eyes.

'Did you know a redcap once broke into the lord's castle and stole his favorite goblet,' Peni stutters. 'It was up to my dad to get it back. And he did, too. It took him a whole month to find the redcap and retrieve the goblet.'

'Really, Peni?' pants Eddy, jumping over a jinx hydrant (it helps with extinguishing out of control jinxes). 'Not the time or place. Actually, never the time or place.'

I totally agree with that. But then again, here's me thinking about my favorite show.

Focus, Mikey.

'Sorry,' says Peni, 'but when I'm nervous I talk.'

'So you're nervous all the time?' asks Eddy.

'I guess so.'

Emily casts another spell for the hundredth time. And the result is the same. No effect.

The redcaps cackle louder at the failed attempt.

Beside her, Rachel huffs, 'Don't waste your breath, Emily.'

'I don't know what else to do,' Emily replies.

'I can't do this for much longer,' cries Mr Nos.

I glance over at him. He's dragging his legs and looks ready to keel over any second.

'Slithering silly snakes,' says Hank, 'one of them almost grabbed my sock. I wish the Knight was here. I wish the Knight was here. I wish the Knight was here. No. I wish I was the Knight. I wish I was the Knight. I wish I was the Knight.'

I wish I was the Knight, too. Maybe I should wish for that on my next birthday. If I get to see it.

I then wait for Rachel to make a snide comment about wizarding wrestling but she's occupied. She's kicking away a handful of knobbly hands.

'Don't you dare touch me with those filthy things,' she screams. 'Eeeck!'

'My dad works for the lord,' Peni shouts over his shoulder. 'Stop chasing us and you won't be arrested.'

More cackling.

'That didn't work on the goblins,' Eddy says to him angrily, 'so what made you think it would work on them?'

Peni shrugs before yelling, 'Please stop chasing us, friendly little redcaps.'

'Calling them friendly isn't going to help either.'

Making me howl and flinch, a redcap springs into the air and grabs Emily's arm.

Unlike me, though, Emily doesn't skip a beat and yanks it off before tossing it.

'See ya,' she says.

Up and up the creature goes, clearing a lamp post and flying through a window of a house.

Wow. Just awesome. She got some good height there.

Another redcap launches an aerial attack. This time aiming for Eddy. But he's ready and smacks the redcap right in its nose.

Down it goes with a plonk and squeal. I'm pretty sure it farted, too.

'You want a knuckle sandwich as well,' bellows Eddy as another comes shooting towards him.

POW. Right in the noggin.

Then two more.

POW!

POW!

Eddy grins.

Oh, he's liking this.

A redcap flies at me this time. I swing for its head but completely miss.

Absolutely pathetic. I've never hit anyone in my life before so I was kind of expecting that, but still.

The redcap wraps its arms around my neck and starts squeezing.

Yep, I'm being choked right now.

But before it has time to strangle me, I wrestle it off. Then holding it by its legs, I use it as a witching bowling ball and take out ten on the ground.

That was fun.

And I do it again and again, catching redcaps mid flight this time.

The others get in on the bowling action too, including Mr Nos.

'Got you,' screams Rachel, grabbing a redcap from the ground. She then whips her arm around and around like a windmill.

I'm getting dizzy just looking at the spinning creature.

Rachel releases the redcap and it crashes into at least twenty other redcaps.

'That's the best one yet,' I yell at her as I leaptoad a magical mailbox.

'Thanks,' she replies back. 'It's all about the speed.'

I copy her technique and . . .

Boom!

Down goes twenty more.

We all start copying Rachel and in no time at all the redcap mob dwindles to just a handful. And several knuckle sandwiches after that, it's over.

'YES!' I yell in jubilation, raising my hands over my head.

Oh, I'm happy. As happy as a jester juggling.

We did it. And we did it without using magic or monster ghosts. Seriously, how impressive is that?

We carry on running, making our way down an alley.

'I can't believe that,' says Peni, sidestepping a trash-vanishing dumpster.

'We were like the Knight out there,' says Hank, 'just destroying our opponents. WHAM! KA-BLAM! SHAZAM!'

'Yeah, but real,' says Rachel.

And there it is.

'Although that was fun,' I say before the two have a chance to argue about wizarding wrestling, 'I never want to see another redcap in my life.'

'I could go for another round,' Eddy says keenly, punching the air with his fists.

'I'm sure you could,' replies Emily. 'And you were quite scary, you know.'

'I was scary? You should've seen yourself.'

'Sorry to burst your bubbles, you lot,' says Mr Nos, 'but our fight is far from over.'

Pounding boots echo down the alleyway and we stop running.

Sheesh. Can't we get a few moments rest. PLEASE.