Shall Not Sleep [bxb]

Dear Random Soldier

Dear random soldier I'm being forced to write a letter to,

My English teacher started up this Adopt-a-Soldier penpal thing. Like pretty much everyone in this town (military base life, ugh), her husband is in the military and she got this idea after he said he knows guys who get deployed and never have anyone write to them. The first letter is mandatory but after that, they're extra credit. I'm going to flunk this class so hard if I don't try for some extra credit. Hey, if I write you a hundred letters, I could get... well, I'm shit in math class too, so I couldn't even tell you how many extra points that would be. Sad, huh?

Anyway. My name is Max Callan. I'm a senior in high school. I live in a boring town with lots of boring people and to be honest, I'm probably just as boring as the rest of them so be prepared to snooze while reading this letter.

But hey, here's something. I got a dog two days ago. My mom came home with a shih tzu puppy named, of all things, Douglas. Somehow the little fluffball totally looks like a Douglas, too. Mom's really attached to him already but he doesn't seem to like me. I've always suspected I might be chronically unloveable. I might start a formal experiment now.

So there you have it: I'm boring, I suck at school, I have a dog, and I'm going to write you a hundred more letters so I can pass this class and graduate high school and grow up to be even more boring. How's that sound?

Max Callan