Love or Rainbows (Twenty-five Twenty-one Fanfic)

A Leap of Faith

"You see a therapist?" Heedo asked, brows raised as she took a gulp of water. They were jogging along the sandy strip of the beach close to the vacation house. For some reason, they had both woken up early after sleeping well yesterday night and decided to jog. The morning sun was warm enough to enjoy and the coolness from the water made jogging comfortable.

"Yes, Dr Jang. I have for years. I'll like you to meet him, I think you'll like him." Yijin replied, a smile in his eyes as he drank some water. He could really get used to this; he generally ran on his treadmill when he had time but this was surprisingly more lovely. May be it was the weather or the company...

"I never pictured you as the therapy going type, you don't really have a fondness for talking about yourself after all." Heedo retorted cheekily as they strolled lazily back to the house. "Thank you for noticing Na Heedo ssi, Little Miss Impulsive." Yijin clapped back. "Well, I knew I had problems. After our break up, the sleeplessness worsened, I was losing weight and I was an absolute mess. Sunbae recommended therapy to me so I decided to try it. You are right in that I refused to talk about myself. It took us months before I could open up. We had tried sleep therapy and even hypnosis but that failed after some weeks. My weight was below the recommended weight for sleeping pills at the time so I had to actually talk to get good sleep. By the time I started talking, I started sleeping better, sometimes even in Dr Jang's office or the car park. It was crazy."

Heedo giggled at that, Yijin had really come a long way. "Well, let me say that I loved the man that you were then but I'm also proud of the man that you are now." Heedo said, smiling at him. Yijin lifted his right arm in a side hug and she went to him, smiling.

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"What would you like to eat? Seung Wan stuffed the fridge." Heedo asked, helping herself to a cup of tea. Yijin was at the kitchen table reading the news on his phone. They had taken a shower on their return and he had made tea before she came out.

"How about you? Are you hungry or just filling up?" Yijin replied, setting his phone down and walking to the fridge. He looked inside and picked out a few things. "How about French toast and a light soup?"

"That's cool, but I want a smoothie instead of soup. Make the toast, leave the rest to me." She said, grabbing two aprons from their hanging rack. The both of them had come to the vacation house separately yesterday because of their schedules so they had just gone to sleep; good sleep, better functionality must have been the general consensus. Within thirty minutes with two sets of hands at work, breakfast was done and served.

"Is there anything you are interested in doing today? It's a Saturday after all." Yijin said, as he took a seat across Heedo. "Nothing comes to mind. We've been here so many times, we have just about seen everything here." Heedo replied, shrugging.

"Then, how about we go for a drive and allow the day play out?" Yijin said, his eyes dancing. May be his joy was infectious or his eyes were bewitching but Heedo happily agreed.

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The next few hours were spent doing just about everything; taking a drive, trying stores-on-wheels' snacks, finding pebbles on the beach and even buying lots of bread snacks to take out the stickers (Yijin's suggestion surprisingly. Heedo laughed and went along with it).

"You know, the day I found out you were moving back to Seung Wan's house, I had bought a lot of this bread hoping to take out the stickers before I happened upon Seung Wan and Ji Woong at the convenience store. That day, Seung Wan made a joke about collecting stickers being childish and I was so embarrassed, but since I loved the stickers so much I continued to collect them secretly even into my twenties. I stopped about six years ago when I stopped journalling but I still have a lot of unused stickers." Heedo said, smiling as she reminisced about that time.

Yijin smiled, using his long legs to control the swing's motion. They had returned to the house some time ago and after freshening up, decided to relax on the swing in the front yard. Their view comprised of a clear strip of the beach hampered here and there by some vegetation but some students were playing games so it was fun to spectate.

"Quite like you to only do things at your own timing, completely uninfluenced by another's opinion." Yijin replied, shaking his head. That's the rubix cube I know, he thought proudly.

"You mean stubborn, don't you? I love the sound of my own voice and going my way so much, I don't listen to those who love and genuinely care about me." Heedo said bitterly, her smile sad and slowly waning. Yijin stopped the swing altogether as he faced her, his countenance serious and brows furrowed with worry. "Definitely not. You knew what you wanted and chased after it. That's not something to regret."

Heedo looked down at her hands. "It's nice of you to say so, but this is exactly my fear: that I am too stubborn to let go and admit my faults and that I'll walk away from something good for me because I'm selfish. That's what I did with you, and oh my goodness, do I regret it."

"Heedo ya, we needed that break. I am willing to admit it now that we needed that break. It's not just our love for each other that has brought us to this moment, it's also our growth over the years that has made us the people we are right now. Twenty-five year old Baek Yijin probably hated you for breaking up with him but thirty-five year old Baek Yijin is thanking you for the opportunity you gave him to heal and grow and become whole and be worthy of you." Yijin replied, holding Heedo's trembling hands. Blinking back tears, he continued. "My fear right now is that I will probably fail you or make you lonely like I did back then. Or that I'll break my promises to you once again."

Openly sobbing now, Heedo answered, "I'm sorry, to twenty-five year old Baek Yijin for breaking his heart. I promise thirty-five year old Baek Yijin that I will be with him as long as he will have me, and that I'll never give up on him when he's struggling or walk away. I'll comfort him and confront him and not let him go into his shell again in tough times. I promise that I'll listen to you and think about us first before taking a decision."

Wiping her tears while shedding his own, Yijin said, "I apologize to twenty-one year old Na Heedo for making her feel lonely, for breaking my promises and keeping her out of my world. I promise I will not make you feel lonely and I'll always talk to you. I will not let myself be overwhelmed by life and forget that I'm not alone. I promise to keep every promise I make to you and make you feel secure in our love, never doubting that you are loved. I promise I will never be your source of regrets going forward."

Sobbing even more, Heedo climbed into his lap, her hands locking around his neck in a hug. "I love you, Baek Yijin. I always did and I always will." Circling her waist with an arm, Yijin rubbed her back and pulled her close, kissing her hair. "Me too, always did and always will."

T/N: Short chapter but I think it hit the mark. Thanks for your patience 😚, been a while and a minute 😩.

Please let me know what you think in the comments. As always, Live and Love 💕💕💕