One Last Beginning: Something To Fight For [Sequel to A Last Chance] *Jensen Ackles*

Chapter 10: A Trip Down Memory Lane

The rain cascaded all around him, but he didn't care; He was the only one left on his knees. Bowing his head, guilt and grief suffocated him as he relayed the mess he'd found her in. He was a dot of black in an enormous place- Clad in dark hues, he was dressed in a suit that reflected how he felt. He blocked the world out, letting his grief and guilt and all of his emotions finally register; but they all came and hit him like a truck. Agony ripped through him- The sound of her laughter echoed in his mind, haunting him, the touch of her lips making him shake with memories. He was empty. There was nothing to live for, nothing at all.

***

Rain poured all around him. Placing the flowers over her grave, Jensen bowed his head as he payed his condolences. Guilt overwhelmed him as his eyes wandered upon the black casket in front of him. Dressed in dark colours, he fell to his knees, grief suffocating him. 

"I'm so sorry Amy.." He murmured, casting his eyes downwards to the ground. He had stayed even after the memorial had ended, but Amy deserved more. She deserved a life, but he had gone and destroyed that hope. He was stupid, no words could even begin to match what Jensen had in mind. How could he have so moronically sacrificed her life? His revenge had gone too far, and he had learned that he sacrificed too many lives in the course of this. How far would he go until Gale was next? He shook his head violently at the thought, bluntly refusing any thing of the sort. A hand on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts, and as he turned around to look at who it was, he found a black man who was dressed exactly the same as him. 

"Come on man," He tugged on his shoulder, condolences on his expression. "I'm sure whoever it is wouldn't want you to be lingering out here for them. Don't feed your grief the way you do," In all of a sudden, Arlene's words rang in his ears. Quite stricken at the comment, he nodded slightly before standing up, his eyes still lingering on the coffin. "It's my fault this happened to her," Turning away, he glanced at the kind man's face just to see a soft-hearted expression, filled with one of understanding. "Come here son," The old man led them both hurriedly towards shelter from the rain. Jensen shook off the drops of rain, then proceeded to shiver slightly from the cold, but decided to try and avert his mind to something different, so focused on the old man's face, but soon he seemed to notice a few things about him: The wrinkles lining his face only told Jensen he was one who had his fair share of grief but hosted obvious wisdom too. "I lost my wife, Julie," He gestured towards a grave far off in the distance. "I used to think it was all my fault, but I realised as years went by, that what happened was going to happen. It was never my fault," He sighed defeatedly, whilst placing a hand on Jensen's shoulder. "Whatever happened was never in your power Jensen." The words struck him but what was even more intriguing is how he knew his name.

"How do you know my name?" He searched the man with his confused filled expression, in attempt to regain any recognition of who he was. 

Chucking, the man patted Jensen arm once again. "When you were a little one, I used to be your neighbour," Finally realising who he was talking to, he smiled goofily. "Uncle Isaac," Jensen let out, laughing as he pulled him into a hug. Patting his back, he moved back to look at his face. 

"I used to watch you play with Amy when you were younger," Jensen's stomach dropped at the realisation that Isaac didn't know this was Amy, but decided to spare him the pain. 

"What are you doing here?" Jensen asked sceptically, then quickly acceded to mentally kick himself as he remembered that he came to visit his late wife.

"I come here everyday, and have done for the past 3 years," He answered, sighing as he tucked his hands into his pockets. Staring out into the rain, he exhaled deeply once again, this time cold air present too. "I'm sorry about Aunty Julie," Jensen's face softened at the way Isaac simply smiled at him. 

"How is everything?" Isaac genuinely seemed interested, and Jensen noticed how he tried to take his mind away from the grief and silently thanked him for it. "Well, I'm engaged," Jensen chuckled slightly, letting out a gush of air as he stared out into the rain, his gaze often landing upon the coffin. 

"Congratulations son," Isaac laughed, patting him hard on the shoulder. "No longer a free man eh?" He chuckled, giving him a mock-pitied glance as Jensen simply shook his head. "No, it's not like that. My soul has bonded with hers in ways I can't explain, but it feels like a stallion. A stallion drugged on love."

***

Shoving a chocolate bar in her mouth, Gale peered at the laptop screen. She felt like watching a romcom and now was the time. Comfortable in her PJ's, she sat on her bed, lost in the fluffy duvet and victim to the snacks sprawled around her. Huddled in complete darkness, the only source of light was from the computer.

"How typical," She mumbled, dumbfounded by the characters stupidness, yet proceeded to 'aww' when the couple in the movie kissed. Proud of her real-life romance, she looked at her ring, smiling. Focusing back on the movie, she garbled a handful of crisps, but then immediately led to herself spitting them out because of the hilarity in which she found the situation in the movie. Taking a moment to think about how much of a loser she was for laughing for no reason, she ignored it but smiled goofily to herself- she was actually happy. Despite the fact that she had a potential crime ring leader on her ass, she was happy. The movie became a blur to her; suddenly glancing at the time, she realised it was 2 am but didn't care. She wasn't tired anyway. Trying to regain the conciousness of what was happening in the movie, she scrutinised the screen and the characters. Finally understanding what was happening, she got into the movie, properly enjoying it for the first time. However, the bedroom door ominously opened to reveal Jensen, who was so lost among the darkness due to the dark colours of his clothes, she took a second to register it was actually him. "Hey baby," She anxiously looked at him, now slowly closing her laptop and sliding it down the side of her bed.  Reaching out to turn on the lamp, the room brightened a tad, just enough to show Jensen's rough state: A black tie hung loosely around his neck, his white shirt looking slightly rumpled. He looked drained; his face hosted some kind of guilt and grief. "Hey babe," Tiredly, he ragged off the tie around his neck, unbuttoned his shirt and threw it on the chair nearby carelessly, then crawled into the bed next to her. Resting his head on her shoulder, his breath carried a slight hint of alcohol, but not enough to smell it from far away. Running a hand through his hair, she looked down at him, not even beginning to question what was wrong. She knew all he needed was someone who was there for him, and she would be that person. Kissing his forehead tenderly, she caressed his cheek and then began to rub his shoulder affectionately. Hearing his light inhales and exhales of breath, she smiled and reached over quietly to switch off the lamp, then pulled the covers over both of them. Sighing deeply, she carried on caressing his shoulder, whilst she stared on down at him.