32 | Ready to Start

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Fred linked his arm with mine and lead me out of the castle. He still wouldn't tell me where we were going or what we were going to do. I wasn't in the mood for an adventure - I was physically and emotionally exhausted after the boggart session with Lupin - and the awareness of Fred's arm touching mine didn't help me concentrating at all.
When we passed the dementors guarding the entrance door of the castle, I shivered and Fred pulled me a little closer to him.
"Horrible creatures, aren't they?", he whispered and we walked a little faster. "Don't like them, either."

Outside, the sun had almost set. The last soft glow coming from it made the Forbidden Forest look even more mysterious than ever, now illuminated by dark orange beams of light.
Apparently, the forest was where we were heading to. We didn't go far into it and reached our destination - a clearing not far behind Hagrid's hut - while it was still light outside.
I noticed a great winged creature of grey colour standing near to a large oak.
"Hey, that's Buckbeak!", I noticed him immediately from Hagrid's first Care of Magical Creatures lesson a few weeks back.
"I know", said Fred. "Harry told me, he almost tore off Malfoy's arm. And he also told me, that he was allowed to fly on him. Isn't that amazing?"
"Yes", I whispered and watched Buckbeak clean his plumage. "They're amazing creatures. Harry has been very lucky. I reckon it's an absolutely stunning look to see the castle and the mountains from above the clouds."
"Well", said Fred and pulled his arm around me. "Then you must be very happy you're getting your own chance to see that tonight."
"Wait, what?", I gasped and stepped back out of reflex. Fred laughed.
"Scared?", he asked amused. "Don't be. Just bow down before him just as Hagrid showed us."
"You're insane!"
"Yes. And you should take a leaf out of my book sometimes."
"I'm certainly not doing this, Fred!"
"Why not?"
"What do you mean, why not?"
"Just answer the question, Julie."
"Because", I said slowly. "It's risky. I could fall down. Or someone could see me and I could be expelled. Or-"
"Or out of a thousand other reasons, I see. But the question is, do you want to live your life like that? There can be a million good reasons not to do something, but if you want to know if there's something good coming from it, you gotta do it anyway. And if you want to see the world from above, you have to take a risk and fly."
I frowned and looked up in Fred's beautiful hazel eyes. Was he really just talking about flying on a hippogriff here? Or was there more to it?
Fred was smiling down at me and my heart made it's usual leap like it did everytime he looked at me.
"Do you trust me?", he asked again.
"Yes", I answered this time.

After Buckbeak bowed down before me as a sign that he accepted me, Fred helped me to climb up onto his back.
"If I'm going to die, Fred", I warned him with trembling voice, "I'm going to come back as a ghost and haunt you forever."
Fred laughed. "Sounds to me like a rather delightful way to spend eternity, Daniels."
Before I could even think about how he meant that, Buckbeak started moving. I had to cling my hands firmly into his feathers to avoid being pushed down by the increasing speed the hippogriff was now gathering.
As Buckbeak spread his wings and left the ground, I lead out a loud yelp. But to my own suprise, I screamed mostly out of joy than out of fear.
Buckbeak was raising higher and higher into the air. I left my eyes closed on our entire way up until I noticed that he was getting a little slower. When I finally opened it, I couldn't see anything at first. We were higher than the clouds.
"Let's go a little lower", I whispered and Buckbeak did as I said. When we were now breaking through the cloud front, I couldn't believe my eyes.
We were so high, I thought I could almost see entire scotland. The mountains looked like tiny grey spots from up here and the Dark Lake didn't look that dark anymore but deep blue instead. Looking from up here could truly change your point of view on some things.
Suddeny, Buckbeak went into a rapid nosedive and I had to hold on tight to his plumage to prevent falling down. I watched the Great Lake coming closer and closer, darker and darker and I started to panic. Why wasn't he going slower? We were going to crash!
But we didn't crash, of course. The hippogriff went into a sharp bend and we were now flying horizontal above the dark surface of the lake. We were so close, I was sure I could touch the water if I'd just stretch out my arm.
I have never felt so free, so jaunty, so indescribably happy in my whole life as I felt in this moment when I was flying over the water on the back of a hippogriff. I knew that all the burden I was usually carrying around was gone as long as I was up in the air. I couldn't be more thankful for that experience.

When Buckbeak finally landed in the clearing in the woods again, I saw that Fred was still waiting there for me. I jumped out of the hippogriff's back and almost stumbled because my legs were weak from the flight but I didn't care. Luckily I got caught by Fred's strong arms once again.
"Hi", he grinned as he held me softly in his arms.
"Hi", I said.
And then I kissed him.
This kiss was different than the others before. It wasn't just pure desire anymore. It was now more than just pure lust. It felt comfortable, as if this was the place for me to be. When I kissed Fred, I wasn't dangling around in the dark anymore, searching for myself. I was just me. Just a girl kissing a boy.

"Well", said Fred when the kiss was over, "We didn't do that for a long time."
"True", I laughed. "I kind of have to admit that I missed it though."
"Me too, Daniels. Me too."
"So", I dared to ask carefully. "What is this supposed to mean?"
"I don't know for sure", said Fred and blushed. "I mean, I know we agreed on being just friends but I guess that's not working, is it? And I also know that it was me who messed this up this summer. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me for that."
Could I? If we would really start something again, we both had to be sure about that or we'd ruin us once and for all.
"I have to think about that, Fred", I confessed.
"Understandable", said Fred and nodded. "We both need to be sure this time. So I suggest we both take some time to think this through and then we like meet up and, you know, decide?"
"Sounds like a good idea", I agreed.

But back in the castle, we learned that there wouldn't be much time to think about us at least the following nights.
A whole crowd has gathered in front of the portrait of the fat lady that lead to Gryffindor tower.
"Probably Neville's forgotten the password again", I heard Ron say, but Neville was standing with us in the crowd.
Suddenly Ginny was making her way through.
"The fat lady! She's gone!", she cried and now we could finally see what was going on. Someone had brutally destroyed the portrait with a knife.
It turned out that Hogwarts wasn't as safe from Sirius Black as we all thought.

This night, Dumbledore made all Gryffindors sleep on the floor in the Great Hall instead in our dormitories until the teachers would decide that the Gryffindor tower was safe again. Therefore, I wasn't able to spend more time with Fred this day.
But even if I was pretty exhausted after this eventful day, I didn't find any sleep.
I was thinking about Sirius Black all the time I lay awake. Sirius Black, the mass murderer, who I was related to, as I found out recently. I remembered how he looked on the old photograph that was still well hidden in my pocket. He looked kind, I remembered. A little mischievous though, I had to admit, but still kind. Was I going completely mad for sympathizing with a murderer?
I tried to push those dark thoughts aside and concentrate on better memories, like Lupin showed me. And suddenly it didn't took me long until I finally fell asleep, dreaming of soft lips and freckles, Fred's arms around my waist and wind in my hair. The photograph was fainting somewhere in the back of my head.

If I was scared, I would
And if I was bored, you know I would
And if I was yours, but I'm not
Now you're knocking at my door
Saying please come out against the night
But I would rather be alone
Than pretend I feel alright
- Arcade Fire

Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley FanfictionWhere stories live. Discover now