29 | This Ain't Me

28 4 0
                                    

Snape let me into the Headmaster's Tower (the password was always some of Dumbledore's favourite sweets) and left me there waiting, because Dumbledore wasn't there already. I didn't know why Snape was looking so gloating - Dumbledore's punishments were always harmless and nothing to worry about. Yet I never left his office feeling good; it has always been the place for bad news for me in the past.

I didn't dare to take some of the Licorice Snaps that were served on Dumbledore's desk, so I wandered inquisitively around in his office.
The walls were full of bookshelves and portraits of former headmasters and headmistresses, all of whom were snoozing gently in their frames.
There were so many different interesting things to see, but I didn't dare to touch them either. The whirring silver instruments on the cupboard next to the door looked quite fragile and I didn't want to break anything.
I had also met Fawkes the phoenix before, but I was still impressed by his magnificent appearance everytime I saw him. I sat down on a stool next to Fawkes and carefully stroke his shiny plumage. The phoenix seemed to like it; he pecked my fingers tenderly as a response.

Dumbledore kept me waiting quite a while. As I was looking for a more comfortable position on the wooden chair I was sitting on, something poke me in my left thigh. I grabbed into the left pocket of my jeans and pulled out the old photograph of the Black Family. It looked a bit crumpled by now and one edge was folded over in a sharp angle, which was probably why the little piece of paper had poked me in my thigh.
The girl on the photograph that looked so much like me was eying me furiously and brushed back her long blond hair, that was looking a bit messy and tousled because I had accidentally crumpled the photograph in my pocket. I honestly hoped my own face would never look as conceited as hers.

"Ahh, Sienna, my dear", a voice suddenly said from behind me.
I spun around.
Nobody was there. I was still alone in Dumbledore's office. Maybe I had just imagined it.
I turned back and looked at the photograph again.
"She has always been my favourite", the voice behind me said again. "Always sat by my portrait and kept me up to date."
There was still nobody standing behind me as I turned around again. But didn't the voice say the word portrait?
I started to inspect the portraits at the wall more closely. Most of the headmasters and headmistresses inside them were still snoozing, but out of one large golden frame, a clever looking wizard with black hair, dark eyes, a pointed beard and thin eyebrows was gazing right at me. The wizard frowned sceptically when I returned his staring.

"Well, well", he then said in a surprisingly tone of voice. "Who do we have here? You look just like poor Sienna Black!"
"Who are you?", I asked the wizard directly.
The man inside the portrait raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms before his chest.
"Just as straight forward as Sienna was. But unlike you, she was able to read properly."
"I can read properly", I replied angrily, but sadly I had to admit that he was right - If I had read the golden sign under his portrait, I would have known the wizard I was talking to was Professor Phineas Nigellus Black, headmaster at Hogwarts from 1884 to 1925.
"However", Phineas Nigellus Black said unimpressed. "May I ask who you are and why you have that picture of my descendants with you?"
"My name is Julie Daniels", I said and tried not to sound as unsettled as I felt. "And I found the photograph in an old book from the school's library."
"You look just as Sienna, I have to say, but I don't remember her having a daughter. So tell me, how are you related to the Black family, Miss... Daniels?"
"I don't know", I answered honestly. "And I certainly hope that I'm not."
"So who is your family then?", the old wizard asked.
"I don't know", I said again.
"You don't happen to know a lot, don't you?"
I found the wizard more and more unpleasant with every minute. Maybe I would find a way to turn the table and make him tell me everything I so desperately needed to know about the photograph. I cleared my throat and tried to make my voice sound more confident.
"Then tell me, Professor Black - who is the girl on this picture?"
"Which one?", the former headmaster asked. "There are four girls as far as I can see. Sienna, Narcissa, Bellatrix and Andromeda." He spit out the last name he mentioned disgustingly.
"You don't seem to like Andromeda that much", I noted.
"How could I? She brought nothing but disgrace to my family, unlike her sisters. She and Sirius were legitimately disowned by the Black family."
"What did they do?"
"Andromeda married a muggle-born wizard called Tonks, as far as I know, and Sirius - well, he was the first and hopefully last Black ever that was sorted into Gryffindor house instead of Slytherin. By the way, dear - which house are you in?"
"Gryffindor", I answered proudly, trying not to think about how long it had taken the Sorting Hat to decide which house I should join. "And what do you mean when you say Sirius Black was disowned? And why was he in Gryffindor? He sat in Azkaban for twelve years because he is a dark wizard who killed a lot of people. That's a Slytherin trait!"

If Phineas Nigellus Black was offended by my last accusation, he didn't let me know.
"I was wondering about that, too", he admitted. "I reckon it took him longer than us others to finally accept where he belongs. Do they have any new clues about Sirius by now?"
I shook my head. I had heard enough about Sirius. Now I wanted answers.
"What about the others? Where are they now?"
"Well, Bellatrix is in Azkaban, wrongfully if you ask me. Sirius' brother Regulus", he pointed onto the other black-haired boy on the photograph next to Sirius Black, "died, to my deepest regrets, a few years back. He was a good boy." The old wizard made a small break and sniffed.
"Narcissa, luckily, is alive and well. Married a good man and had a son who must be about your own age or a little younger. Draco Malfoy, do you know him?"
I must have looked exactly as I felt (disgusted), because the wizard continued quickly without waiting for me to answer.
"And then there is Sienna, of course. She was always my favourite. Brilliant mind. Slytherin of course. Head Girl back at her time in Hogwarts. I'd be surprised if she wasn't her mother's favourite, too. It was her idea to disown all those members of the family who weren't worth the name Black. If it wasn't for her, scum like Sirius and blood-traitors like Andromeda were still part of our highly regarded family."
Sienna Black grinned nastily up to me and her mint green eyes were gleaming viciously at my own ones. The old wizard in the portrait must have seen my gaze and came to the right conclusion.
"Yes, you look exactly like her. If I didn't know better, I'd say you're her daughter. But that can't be, I would've known. She would've told me. I was her favourite advisor. She always carried my other portrait with her. Ahh, how I adored that girl. It's a shame, a true shame, what happened to her."
I raised my head fastly and looked up into the old wizards eyes.
"What happened? Where is she?"
Phineas Nigellus Black sighed quietly. "She died. It is a pity. No one deserves a death like that and certainly not my lovely Sienna Black."
"What happened?", I asked again, now more curiously than ever.
"Well, she-"

"THAT'S ENOUGH, PHINEAS."
I spun around. I hadn't noticed how Dumbledore had entered his office; he must have been quite silent or maybe he had just appeared out of nowhere, I didn't know. However, Phineas Nigellus Black became still immediately and sadly that was my last chance to talk to him, at least for now.
"What happened to Sienna, Professor?", I asked Dumbledore without greeting him properly.
"What happened to Sienna", he said slowly, "is something you certainly will learn one day. But the day is not this one. I am very sorry, Julie."
"You can't be serious!", I said furiously.
Dumbledore gave me a long and meaningful glance. "I understand your anger, Julie, but I am indeed very serious about this."
I let out an angry snort.
"At least tell me one thing. Is she my mother?", I asked and there was no way he could miss my despair.
Dumbledore said nothing at first. He grabbed a Licorice Snap and skillfully immobilized it before he tasted it. A moment later he drew his attention back to me.
"Yes, Julie. I'm afraid you're right this time. Sienna Black is your birth mother."

Sometimes people just fade on
Tried to fix us but I just got stuck
I can change, I can change, I can change
Said the words just as fast as they came
- Augustines

Falling Slowly (A Hogwarts Lovestory) - Fred Weasley FanfictionWhere stories live. Discover now