It had been a few days, Techno had started to feel down again, really down and he didn't know why. It was 4:02am, he hadn't slept, he didn't want to as he cried silently in his bed, facing the wall as he slowly soaked his pillow with tears, more and more as the time went on. He needed a long lasting hug, he needed comfort but he couldn't get anyone, everyone was asleep and he didn't want to disturb them. *If I cut, will that even do anything, of cause not, I'll just be ruining my arm even more and nothing will be fixed* he thought, *what if I end it the permanent way, there's pills in the bathroom and there's another bottle downstairs I think*. He felt himself get up and slowly walk to the bathroom before closing the door behind him.
He stood in front of the mirror, staring at himself. *My hairs too long, I hate it, my face is shaped weird, so are my eyes, I hate their colour, brown with a tint of red, I want blue eyes* he thought before looking away from the mirror and looking in the cupboard, seeing the pills as he picked them up and opened it. *Am I really gonna do this?* he thought as he started crying again, hard crying, it hurt. Tears soon started rushing down his face as he stared at the pills more. *"DO IT!" "Techno wait" "DO IT DO IT!" "WAIT THINK!" "GET WILBUR" "DO IT YOU COWARD!" "Ugly lol ew"* he listened to the voices as they started yelling, instantly making him become overwhelmed as he started hyperventilating and shaking, knowing a bad panic attack was coming very soon. He suddenly felt his legs become numb as he fell to the ground, the pills staying in his hand as he gripped onto them tightly. "P-please" he started to beg, not wanting to do it anymore as he started shaking badly and his breathing was only getting worse. "S-someone" he cried quietly. "Please".
He suddenly threw the pills across the room before he started hitting himself hard, trying to get it all to stop but nothing was changing. *Please someone help, help me* he thought, desperately needing anyone to stop him. "I-I need help" he whispered very shakily. *Everyone's asleep, I don't want to wake them up, I can't*. He laid down on the ground, his whole body now hurt even more due to him punching himself. He soon stopped crying as the last tears fell to the ground, he felt hopeless as everything started feeling numb. The more he laid there, the more he started to become tired but he didn't want to sleep, he was afraid of what would happen when he woke up. He laid there staring at the wall for hours, waiting for someone to help him as memories attacked him, this quite obviously wasn't the first time he had ever laid on a bathroom floor, it had happened many times. A few hours had passed as he suddenly heard footsteps outside the room before they went downstairs. *Phil* he thought, not wanting or feeling like he needed Phil. He needed Wilbur, it felt like Wilbur understood him the most even if he had no idea what he was talking about.
He laid there longer as another hour went by, then another, he was starting to lose hope as he closed his eyes and listened out for anyone. Suddenly he heard the door quickly open. "Oh thank god you didn't run away" he heard a panicked yet familiar voice say as they quickly ran into the room before they closed and locked the door behind them. Techno listened as the person crouched down and checked his pulse, he didn't care, he felt too numb to move but tears were falling.
"Techno It's Wilbur, you're alright" Wilbur said quietly as he lifted Techno up so he was sitting against the wall next to the shower. Techno didn't look at Wil, nor did he even interact with him as he let him do what he wanted. "Oh you're awake thank god" Wilbur sighed in relief before seeing how numb Techno looked, he was staring at the ground whilst tears flew down his face. "It's alright you're ok now you're ok" he said, bringing Techno into a close hug. Techno started to cry harder as he hung his arms loosely around Wilbur. "Wil" he whispered shakily. "It's alright I'm here, I'm right here for you don't worry, its getting bad again isn't it?" Wilbur said, calming down. Techno nodded slightly before rested his chin on Wil's shoulder. "It's alright, I'm right here for you now I've got you ok? I've got you, you're safe" Wilbur reassured him. The 2 sat there for a while as Techno cried hard into Wilbur's shoulder.
"You're not doing so well, come on, let's go to our bedroom, its better than a bathroom floor" Wilbur calmly said, feeling Techno nod with a sniffle. He helped Techno stand up before watching as Techno pointing at something, he then saw a pill bottle on the floor with some pills spilt out. "Did you take any?" Wilbur asked, now very concerned. "N-no" Techno stuttered, feeling himself start to become scared, *did I mess up again? What am I even thinking of cause I messed up again*. "Promise you didn't take any, if you did then you can tell me, you won't be in any trouble at all" Wilbur said, looking Techno in the eyes. "I-I promise" Techno nodded, breaking down again. "Ok ok, I believe you, come on it's ok" Wilbur said, clearly skeptical but ignoring it for now as he walked Techno back to their room before they both sat opposite each other on Technos bed. "I-I thought I was ok" Techno cried before being brought into the same close yet comforting hug as before. "You are now, you're completely ok, you're safe now I promise" Wilbur reassured him as he slowly rubbed his back to help.
"Did you relapse at all?" he asked, feeling Techno shake his head. "Ok, don't worry I believe you" Wilbur nodded, "how long were you there?" he asked more. "A-a few hours" Techno answered shakily, feeling another panic attack starting. "Ok, next time that happens you need to wake me up, don't worry about me being mad or anything close to that because I will never be mad at you, especially if you need someone, I will never yell or be mad at you I promise" Wilbur continued to reassure him as he nodded along. "I-I promise I will I'm-I'm sorry" Techno cried as he started to hyperventilate again. "You're alright don't worry" Wilbur nodded before noticing it, "deep breaths, deep breaths" he said slowly whilst loosening the hug so Techno wouldn't feel suffocated. Techno started shaking before he forced himself out of the hug. "I-it's happening again" he cried quietly, loud enough for Wilbur to hear. "Don't worry I'm here now, I'm right here for you, you're not alone this time" Wilbur said, holding his hands out. Techno quickly held onto his hands tightly before listening to Wilbur's instructions, "deep breaths in through your nose... and out through your mouth". Techno listening and focussed as he did what he said before he felt like he could breathe again.
"You did very good I'm proud of you don't worry, I'm proud, you're ok, you're alright" Wilbur said with a small smile whilst Techno nodded, still feeling overwhelmed as if the panic attack was still going on except he could breathe. "E-everything is happening all at-at once" he cried, holding onto Wilbur's hands somehow tighter. "Your mind is overwhelmed, keep doing the breathing exercise" Wilbur said, opening his arms as Techno quickly hugged him. "Now relax, rest your head on my shoulder and close your eyes, relax your body onto me, don't worry I've got you, you're ok" he continued. Techno nodded as he did what he said, resting his head on his shoulder whilst closing his eyes. He took a few more deep breaths as he hung his arms loosely around Wil before continued the breathing exercise. He felt Wilbur slowly rub his back up to his neck and down to his lower back before doing it again and again, he found it was really helping even though it was so simple.
"You're gonna be extra exhausted after this so maybe get some sleep" Wilbur said before continuing, "have you slept at all?". Techno shook his head, feeling safe enough to tell the truth. "Alright, its ok, after this you can have a quick sleep so you have enough energy for the rest of the day then tonight you can sleep all you want, yeah?" Wilbur smiled, Techno nodded. The 2 sat there as Techno became more and more relaxed. "Later, do you wanna talk about what happened?" Wilbur asked calmly, not feeling Techno answer. "You don't have to make that decision now, if you want to talk about it later then we can but if not then that's completely fine too, talking about it might help though so think about it later yeah?". Techno nodded once again, feeling a lot more relaxed than before as he started to fall asleep after a long night of no sleep and almost none- stop crying. "I-I'm sorry" he whispered. "Don't worry you haven't done anything wrong at all" Wilbur instantly reassured him, "try not to feel bad about any of this ok? It's not easy obviously but still y'know?". Techno nodded, he felt calm again, the panicking had fully stopped and he finally felt safe again. He was finding it more and more difficult to stay awake as he accidentally fell asleep on Wilbur's shoulder.
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Erm yeah...
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Technoblade || Angsty Adoption Story || SBI
FanfictionTechno was a 16 year old boy who had been rejected and abused in homes, returning back to the orphanage until he'd had enough. He decided it was time to run so he started packing and well... Just wanna say that I began this story before Technos pass...
