Cruel Summer| Cam Cameron (1)

Heart, Mind, Body

Belly's birthday dinner went as you would expect.  The boys picked on Taylor and Belly, Conrad and I sitting off rolling our eyes at them. Conrad was still a little pissed at me for calling him out on the necklace so he didn't talk to me much of dinner. Oh well. 

I zoned out for most of it, there are a million and one things going on in my brain, and adding another might be the death of me. 

"You know what?" Belly said, loud enough to snap me out of my thoughts. 'We should go to Nicole's party. Em, do you want to come?"

I looked up from the aimless stirring of my soup, "I think I'll pass."

"Come on," Jere said, hugging me from behind. I jumped, I didn't know he was there, I thought he was still in his chair. "Woah, jumpy. Okay, but you should come."

I shook my head, "I love you, bear.  I'm good here."

Conrad laughed, "Don't be a party pooper, peaches." 

"Are you really going to let us go to a party without you? What if I want to drink?" Jere said, right in my face. 

I rolled my eyes, "You all suck. Fine."

Jere kissed my head, "Yay! Go get ready, you can't wear sweats and my sweatshirt to a party." 

I stood up and walked to my room.   I threw on a white bralette, jean shorts with a belt, and a floral oversized button-up I think I stole from Jere last summer. I walked down the stairs and stood by the door, "let's get this over with."

When we got to the party everyone immediately went their separate ways. I walked over to the group of Deb girls that Belly was with. Nicole was there, she had planned a mini birthday party for Belly. "Do you know if Conrad is staying here?" She asked, with a smile. 

"Yeah, where is Jereimiah?" GiGi asked. 

"Oh my God," I mumbled, walking away from brother talk. 

I walked into the other room right as Jereimiah was making out with a guy on the couch, "Ew gross," I said shielding my eyes.  

 "If you're going to be gross and homophobic just leave," someone told me. 

I shook my head, "No... I'm not even... no. Just... here," I said, digging into my bag and slipping a condom into Jere's hand. "Goodbye now."

I heard him as I walked away, "No...no. That's just my big sister. She's pan too so she's not homophobic. Don't worry." Jere is nothing if not honest.

"I thought you said you weren't coming," Cam said, from behind me. 

I turned around and smiled, my hair falling into my face, "Change of plans," I laughed. "The birthday girl wanted to come, so here we are."

He pointed to my cup and raised an eyebrow, "I thought you said you didn't drink."

I scruned my nose, "Well, you see Cam, normally when people say that they mean they don't drink alcohol...they still drink other liquids. And I said I don't drink at parties, a glass of wine with my mom or a margarita at home is a different story."

"Oh, well...now that you are here, do you want to hang out with me?" He asked, brushing the hair out of my face. 

My chest tightened as I watched his hand move across my face. I felt his warm fingers touch the side of my head. My heart was racing, and for once I hated that it wasn't in a bad way. The entire movement took maybe five seconds but it felt like it went on for at least a minuet.

"Yeah, sure," I whispered. I would be able to spend the night just as his friend, as long as I avoid him touching me.

He smiled and took my hand, my heart did the same summersault in my chest as it did before as he walked me to a bench outside. "So what's your story?" He asked, me his brown eyes gluing themselves to mine. 

I looked down and realized our hands were still together, I can't do this. I can't let myself fall for him. Because the second I do, the second I let us happen, he's going to leave. This was the moment I realized I really liked him. But my heart did even more aggressive flips than it did with Easton. So when I did something that fucked up this too, it would hurt even worse than it did with him. So it's better if I just don't. 

"What do you mean?" I asked, with a huge smile on my face. The kind of smile that was impossible to fake and even more impossible to hide. 

My body was falling me but not in the way I was used to.

He kept his eyes locked on mine, "I can tell you are holding back."

"Holding back from what?" I asked, finally forcing my hand out of his. It wasn't that he was holding it to tight, the second I moved he let go. My heart, mind, and body were in a fight over which got the final say in this interaction .

He shook his head, "Nevermind. I think I might just be reading things wrong."

No. You are reading them perfectly. I'm just lying so you can't break my heart. It can't take that. "Maybe," I laughed to hide my lie. 

I looked down at my feet, he didn't move. He sat with me, I could feel his eyes glued on me. It wasn't in a creepy way though. Anytime I would look up he was watching my face, not any other part of my body.

Maybe if I let my guard down this would work. Heart. It's your damn heart. Just sit here and when the nights over you never have to think of it again. Mind. 

"Emilia!" Belly yelled practically knocking Cam of the bench. "We need to go. Can we go? Now please."

I looked between her and Cam, "Yeah, I'll go get Tay, Connie, Jere, and Steven."

"Taylor and Steven can stay," she snapped. 

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh-kay."

I stood up and went in to get Jere and Conrad. Luckily neither of them were too drunk. We walked out to our door and past Cam. He waved to us, "Hey, wanna come with?" I asked. 

Heart.