Summer Forever

16.

"At least I tried," Connor replied. Judging by the expression on his face, I could only guess that River had sent him some kind of sour look. He turned back to me, his smile fading.

"Sorry I can't stick around," he said. "I didn't tell work that I was leaving, and I need to get back before my dad finds out."

"That's okay." It was. I understood why he needed to leave. But for the five minutes he'd been here, things almost felt normal. Except now he was leaving again. I didn't want him to leave, but I knew I couldn't stop him. Not even River could get in the way of Connor's responsibilities. I knew that feeling more than anyone.

"I'll come again soon, and we can hang out more, yeah?"

I nodded and he grinned widely, leaning down to pull me into a tight bear hug. I let him take me into his large arms, hold me against his chest. For a moment, I pretended we were children again, saying goodbye on the warm sands of Shellside Bay before our next stupid adventure in the morning. Before he pulled away, he pressed a quick kiss to my forehead.

"You'll be great," he whispered.

I nodded again, letting his words sink into my skin, through to my heart. I needed him to be right. He smiled one last time before stepping past me to reach River at the kitchen. He pulled him into a brief hug, pressing a kiss to his cheek before squeezing his hand.

"I'll call," he promised.

And just like that, he was gone.

The door shut behind him with a quiet click and the room fell into silence. River stood with his back turned to me, putting all his attention and effort into pouring hot water into a mug.

I stared at his back, taking in the redness of his ears, the edges of a hickey poking out of his shirt collar, the wrinkles that zigzagged across the back of his clothes.

Slowly, a grin spread across my face. I leaned onto my elbows, lifting my brow at his silence.

"So," I started. "What was that all about?"

His body tensed and he turned, shooting me a glare. "Shut the fuck up."

"Oh, my God!" I squealed, rounding the table to stand beside him. "What the hell, River? I didn't even know you guys kissed—did you guys... sleep together?"

"Yes, Isla. We slept together. Just slept. We didn't do anything more," he replied lowly. He spoke with annoyance thick in his voice, but his face betrayed him, and his lips twitched into a small smile. He turned away from me, carrying his mug to another counter, hiding his face from me—hiding his growing smile. "We kissed the summer Everett came to Shellside Bay."

I almost choked on his words. "What?"

"We kissed."

I sighed at his nonchalance. "I heard that part, River. When? How? Details? I didn't even know." I followed him across the kitchen, forcing him to face me.

He groaned, rolling his eyes. "Do we have to talk about it?"

"Yes, River! We have to talk about it! It's like—when did you stop telling me these things?"

"I was just—" he sighed loudly. "I was embarrassed, okay? It was after that bonfire party, before you found us hungover at the Shack. I was jealous and too drunk to hide it, and Connor—I don't know. He just kissed me."

"Holy shit," I muttered. I remembered that night. I'd left early. How had I not noticed the next morning? Or the rest of the summer? "And you kissed him back?"

River nodded. Then, quietly, he added, "It was my first kiss."

"Your first? So, then Alistair..."

"Was my second," he filled in. "We went to school together so when I came back after that summer... I don't know. I kept thinking about Connor. And then I kept thinking about all of Connor's girlfriends and flings, and I kept imagining him in Shellside Bay without me. We were never serious, but Alistair was there, and so was I. It just happened."