If Only She Knew

39. I am Ariana Johnson

"Come on, let's go. I wanna show you this place I told you about,  that holds a lot of meaning for our relationship."

"But did I guess it? You didn't tell me if I guessed it after all!" Ariana grabbed a hold of his arm, tugging him, giving him her cat smile. She adored him.

And then in a second that image vanished to black, and Ariana felt as though she was drowning in water. Hands were trying to reach out to her and catch her, but she only kept drowning deeper into the dark, blue, cold water, into her mind. She saw Simon once again. It was nighttime. She was with him on a balcony on a high story, overlooking London.

She was holding a gun in her left hand, but she wore a black bodysuit and she didn't look like herself. But then she opened her mouth and told him:

"That looks like the guy," she hissed to Simon. It sounded completely like her voice.

"He must be. We do as I have said, you go dispose of him and then call me up so I can wipe the victim's memory," Simon told her with a smile, his hands in his pockets as he leaned on the ballustrade.

"Yes," Ariana breathed with a curt nod and a glance to Simon, and she started walking. But Simon stopped her with a hand on her torso and gently turned her around towards him. She didn't say anything and accepted his arms, burying her head in his chest.

"Do not worry, one day you'll be happy and you'll always remember. I promise you that, my love."

And then that memory got consumed up by the water too, and she drowned deeper. She felt a cold, northern breeze strike her face and they were up in Scotland, sitting in the snow.

They sat in the snow, looking at the landscape. The Cairngorm Mountains were drowned in white and a snowstorm was taking place a bit farther away from them as they sat on the peak of a slope overlooking the wooden cabins. There was a tele cabin going from up the hill, above them, running parallel with the slope. He looked over at her. She seemed exhausted. What they were about to do though, took some more strength and energy.

And he knew, it took her entire being. He was destroying her and somehow, helping her destroy herself. But she has consented to this, and was, even then, aware he wouldn't mind her stepping back even after everything they'd done. What they were about to do would change the country, forever. The world, even.

"How'd you think this is gonna end?" She made a slashing gesture with her ski pole in the snow. Her tone was wavering but her face was cold.

"This is gonna end the way you want it to," he assured her. He didn't want her in pain but he knew very well there was probably no way from saving her from herself.

And again, the darkness. And again. Again and again.

And then she saw Simon again inches away from her. They were sitting on a bed. She was crying and he was ruffling up her hair.

"I've killed so many people, was it truly necessary Simon?" She argued with him and threw pillows from the bed all around the room. "I don't deserve to live-"

"Don't talk rubbish love, it was all necessary. Evil people that the normal laws cannot punish, and sometimes their offspring," Simon explained to her, still ruffling her hair. "In any case, you and I are just as guilty. Actually, I can take the entire blame for both of us. To me, this revenge was necessary, but if it comes to it, I can take the blame."

"Promise me one day I'll pay for all this. Promise me I can spend my whole life making up for it"- Ariana cried as she begged him. Simon smiled and nodded.

"Yes you can. You will."

And then Ariana's brain gave in, and she lost consciousness, there surrounded by nurses and cops, in the hospital room bed.