Walls Between Us

18 | you hung the moon

"Am, what's wrong?" I question, coming to a halt in front of her.

With doe-like brown eyes, which are shimmering with held-back tears, she glares at me before tearing her gaze off me. I purse my lips, walking to the spot right beside her. I slide down to the same position as hers, propping a knee up instead and resting an arm over it.

"Am, c'mon talk to me..." I press on, intentionally bumping my legs with hers as I move closer.

"Stop bothering me, Carter," she says. "Go and spend the day with your son. You're free to make me feel less welcome."

I frown, pressing a hand to the patch of grass behind her back. My eyes bore down on her face where a trace of dried-up tears is visible up close. My fingers itch to trace that line down to her collarbone but I manage to stop myself.

"Make you feel less welcome? What do you mean?"

She turns to me so quickly that our faces come inches close. Her scent of flowery perfume hits my nose, causing me to lean in. If she is startled by my actions, she doesn't show it.

There are a few couples around us, mostly parents with their kids who are sitting this close without it being awkward but it is different for us. She has another man's ring on her finger and yet, my shamelessness is so far gone that I still want her the same.

To my surprise, she doesn't move away.

"You know what you're doing, Carter," Amaya says. "Ever since he got to know you as his Dad, he hasn't once called me for anything. Even now when we were on the ride."

There is a dryness in her voice. She gulps down what I believe are emotions that form the tears in her eyes. She is looking at me with a burning hatred. The tip of her nose is a shade of pink, reminding me of times when we used to have our small fights only for me to win her over every time.

I had gotten so used to the idea of Amaya being mine that I forgot that distance can have lasting effects on a strained relationship. I sometimes wonder if Parker had not been in the picture - would we have still been close to each other or maintained a professional relationship as a boss and his secretary?

"You need to stop overthinking stuff, baby. Parker isn't going anywhere from you," I assure her.

Her frown only deepens at my assurance. "Easy for you to say. You aren't the third wheel between Parker and me. With his admiration for you, it's like I'm the one being the extra."

"Parker is a kid, Am. He is just excited to know that he has a Dad. Believe me, if you ask him to choose now, he would still choose you."

"That's the problem!" she sighs, looking away from me and toward the direction of the carousel. "I don't want him to choose between us. I don't want him to go through all that stuff. Not when you have other plans."

"What other plans?"

"Don't pretend, Carter." Amaya brushes her hand through the patch of grass, staring at it with feigned interest. "Gabby told me that you plan to be here for just a few weeks. I know you're leaving soon and I don't know what to say to Parker when you do. He looks at you like you hung the moon."

My aching chest tightens further. Her words hit deep and I know the fear behind them. I did plan on leaving after the merger was complete. That was before I knew I had a son. My life is out in California. I had thought that by the time I was done getting to know Parker as my son, Amaya would have changed her mind or at least given me a second chance. When I leave, I want to take them both with me.

I still hope that but the way she has been acting, I don't think she would ever forgive me.

"You know that problem would never arise if you decide to share Parker's custody with me," I say in a low voice. "We could take turns spending time with him."

The moment I speak the words, a hard slap lands on my left cheek. I am blindsided by the impact and have to shake my head to realize what just happened. The pain stings as Amaya stares at me with her lips parted. Her jaw is tight as she drops her hand back on the grass.

"Never..." she breaths, fuming through her nostrils. "Never suggest that again. Parker will always be mine first before he is yours. I'm not spending a day without him."

I am too shocked to reply instantly. My cheek burns at the contact and I find people stealing looks at us. To them, we must seem like a couple having relationship problems. They are wrong about that.

We are practically strangers having relationship problems.

"Did you just slap me?" I blurt as I rub my cheek to get rid of the sharp sting left behind by her heated palm.

Amaya's cheeks flush red as she avoids meeting my eyes. The last time she slapped me was back in high school when I was beating the shit out of a kid who decided to share her morphed pictures on the internet. She had been upset but apparently not enough to let me kill that boy. Not long after that, we had our first break-up.

Deep down, I know that we are toxic together. That's just the kind of thing that comes out of being on close terms with a fucked up guy like me. Amaya Sommers has always been the only person in my life who got to see my reality which I hid behind my walls. She made me confront the worst parts of myself and change for the good. She wasn't my therapist but the need to be hers was enough to bring me back on track.

Call it an obsession or whatever but for her, I will risk it all.

The need to possess Amaya hangs like an unsung song between us. She must see that I want her. If she didn't, she would have never said yes to her so-called fiance.

If she thinks it is that easy to get rid of me, she is wrong. I am Carter Bell and Amaya Sommers has always been mine. I will leave no stone unturned to get her back. If it means going back to my darkest beginnings, I will do that without a second's thought.

"Mommy..."

We both raise our eyes at the voice of Parker, spotting Dawson who is walking towards us with Parker's hand held in his. My son looks between both his parents as Amaya and I rise to our knees.

"Parker, what happened?" Amaya asks in pure concern.

"Mommy," Parker says, leaving Dawson's hand and running toward his mother. He rushes to her with tired feet, the happiness on his face replaced by that of exhaustion. "I'm sleepy. Can we go home?"

Amaya holds him in her arms, picking him up as he lays his head down on her shoulder. She rises from the ground, taking her sling bag along with her.

"Yes, honey...of course..." she coos, swaying Parker gently in her arms.

Her eyes meet mine in that instant and we both know that our thoughts are the same.

I might hang the moon for Parker but when it was time to go home, he would always come to his mother first.

I smile faintly at the thought. I have no worries about that. As long as Amaya Sommers is my home, my son would come back to me too.

That is something even the walls between us won't erase.