Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 20....

"You know," I sat froward. Mr. Waltham met my gaze. "People always say time heals. It heals pain, sadness, anger. In a way they are correct, time does heal but it doesn't heal grief. Not fully. Grief doesn't go away overnight. I don't think grief goes away at all actually."

I sent him a soft smile as I spoke.

"There is always going to be a part of you that misses Carol and grieves her loss. Ten years from now you will still feel that grief but instead of that gut wrenching pain, it's going to just be a small ache. An ache that will remind you that she is no longer here but it won't consume you."

I swallowed thickly as I watched him tear up across from me.

"You going over to talk to Rosette doesn't mean you still aren't grieving. It also doesn't mean that you've suddenly moved on from Carol." I think that was his biggest fear.

Moving on from his wife.

"I'm not saying you need to ask Rosette out on a date, but having a conversation wouldn't hurt. Maybe you'll find yourself a new friend. Or," I reached across to softly touch his hand. "if the day comes you feel something more for a woman, it's okay too." His hand closed around mine as he nodded.

"There is no timeline for grief."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes, Mr. Waltham's hand closed around mine. I could tell him crying was unusual for him as he got himself together.

"Thank you Doc."

"Anytime. And if you need anyone to talk to I am always here." I said with a smile.

Helping him stand up, I walked him to the door. He seemed...lighter than when he first walked in. Like my words helped ease something inside of him.

"Same time next week?"

"Of course Doc."

Giving me one last smile and pat on the hand, Mr. Waltham headed for the front doors. Closing my door I leaned my forehead against it with a sigh. That was an unusual visit for him. I just hoped what I said helped a little.

Hearing my phone ring I quickly went over to my desk and hit answer without looking at the name.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

The voice on the other side made my heart sputter. Trevor.

"Hey." This is probably the first time we've talked on the phone just the two of us.

"How's work going?" For some reason those words made my throat close up. No one, other than Josie, has ever asked me how work was going. My own parents despise my job so of course they wouldn't ask.

"Um, good. My client just left so I've got about an hour before the next one. How was practice?" I tried to keep my voice casual but pretty sure I was failing.

"You okay?" Trevor completely passed over my own question.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Fine doesn't always mean okay." I could hear shuffling in the background as he spoke.

"When did you get so analytical." I leaned my hip against my desk, holding my phone closer to my ear. Weirdly, just hearing his voice was making me feel better. It's days like today, having to help bear the weight of a loss, that made my job hard and draining. Especially after seeing a man as strong as Mr. Waltham break down.

"There's so much you don't know about me sunshine." I could practically hear the smirk in his voice even though I couldn't hear him. "Seriously though, you sound upset. Did something happen?"