I heaved a lungful of air as I staired the gigantic door of Hanzo's house. Paano ba namang hindi ako kakabahan, Doom made me feel guilty about me leaving without permission. He should've taken my side, instead he made that a reason to pick on me. I should've known.
I was about to ring the doorbell beside the door when the door swung open and there stood a tall figure in his casual white polo shirt and black jeans. He was rolling up his sleeves as he raised his head.
I lost my cool when he spoke.
"Ash?"
Beat.
I should have come when he's away. I put my hands behind my back, trying to shove the uneasiness off me.
"Kukunin ko lang 'yung naiwan kong gamit." Walang emosyon kong wika sa kanya.
He looked at me confused.
"You're leaving?" I nodded as I made my way inside the house. "Why... what do you mean-- where will you stay?" Sunod-sunod na tanong nito.
Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad, completely ignoring his questions.
"Are you hurt? I was looking for you all evening. You left your phone. I couldn't reach you. What's the problem, Ash?" He reached for my hand.
Napatigil ako dahil hinigit niya ako sa aking palapulsuhan. When I turned back to face him, I saw his tired and worried face. His deep eyes tells me he's sleep-deprived. I bit my lower lip. Hindi ko sinasadyang pag-alalahin siya.
"Bumalik ako sa bahay ni Tita," Pagsisimula ko.
His forehead creased, waiting for me to carry on with what I would say.
He's damn patient. Hindi man lang siya nagalit sa akin. I left without saying anything. Kaya siguro nagagalit ako sa sarili ko ngayon. It's like I'm taking him all for granted.
"I stayed there the entire time until this morning." I lowered my head. "Sorry, I left without saying anything." I was flustered.
Hindi ko alam kung ano 'yung sasabihin kong excuse. I'm embarrassed to tell him I was surprised with what I saw, so I ran.
"Look, I'm sorry about what happened yesterday. Nagulat din ako."
Kinagat ko ang pang-ibaba kong labi para pigilan ang sariling emosyon. Ayokong makita niya akong ganito. There was a sudden pang in my heart when he mentioned that. Alam ko namang hindi niya sinasadya. Pati ako rin ay naguguluhan sa sarili ko. Halo-halong emosyon ang nararamdaman ko sa ngayon. Kaba, alinlangan, at... selos?
He was about to put his hands on my shoulder when I spoke.
"P-Please don't touch me," he froze on his feet.
There is no reason for him to touch me, I thought. Ever since that happend, I became so oversensitive, especially when it's Hanzo who's in front of me.
I felt so fragile. Muntik pa akong pumiyok. Even I couldn't control stuttering. I saw him frowned, worried about how I reacted.
Ibinaba nito ang kamay niya. I lowered my head enough to not show my face to him. Ano ba ang problema ko? It's not like they did a crime together. It's only natural for two people to kiss, right? It's how they show love towards another person, right?
I felt so ignorant and alienated by this feeling that they call love. I never knew what it means but all I know is I'm hurting because of that same reason.
Did I fall for him? Is that why I'm hurting? Parang unti-unti namang nagdugtong ang mga tuldok sa aking isip.
He treats me right. He makes me happy. He lets me enjoy the food I never tasted before and take me to places I've never been. And if comfort is a person, it would definitely be Hanzo.
KAMU SEDANG MEMBACA
Hello Doom
Fantasi[ON-GOING] When Asha Buenavella turned 18, she could only wish for one-- to finally end the days of her life. She was fed up with being unlucky and what life had in store for her, sufferring. Will she finally able to achieve peace now that Doom, th...
