𝙄𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙗𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪 | Eddie Munson

𝙋𝙧𝙤𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙪𝙚

Spring of '87

The phone rings and my stomach flips. I stand up from the floor. Shit. My butt is numb from sitting for over an hour. I grab the phone off the wall and take a deep breath before answering.

"Hello?" I ask even though I know who's going to answer.

"I'm sorry," Eddie says quickly.

An apology that I've heard so many times over the past nine months. Sorry. Five little letters that have lost their meaning. It's become a word that isn't a word anymore. You know, when you say something over and over that you begin to question if it's actually real or not.

"Madi?" He asks as the silence on my end becomes too loud.

"I can't keep waiting around for your calls. I have a life too." I say softly.

He doesn't think about all the things I've been late to or missed because I'm sitting around waiting for his calls. He's so wrapped up in his new life that he doesn't realize that I don't fit anymore. He's trying to put together a puzzle and I'm the piece he found in the box that doesn't belong. My piece is from a different puzzle and he keeps trying to put me in the new one. Eventually, he will realize I belong to a box that sits on the back of the shelf collecting dust.

"I know you do. I'm trying, okay?" His voice seems louder as if he pushed the phone closer to his mouth, shielding our conversation from others. He must be with friends or at the studio.

I can't do this anymore. I can't keep holding onto this hope of things working out for us. I knew this would happen. I tried so hard to prevent this. I told him that trying to make this happen would end up being more painful. I wanted to cut it off nine months ago when I was left with sweet memories. Now those memories are being taken over by anger, frustration, sadness, and hopelessness.

"I didn't ask for this. I didn't ask you to try." I let out a shaky breath. The words roll off my tongue before I can process what I'm saying.

"What? You don't want this?" He asks.

"That's not what I'm saying, Eddie," I sigh in frustration. I try gathering my thoughts, but he interrupts me.

Eddie scoffs, "It is what you're saying. I'm not forcing you to answer my calls or to make this relationship work."

"What relationship?" I blurt out angrily. My heart is racing. "Is that what you call this? The two phone calls I get a week- if that. The memory of what it's like being in your presence? I mean, I can't even remember what that's like since I haven't seen you in nine months." I laugh out of anger.

It's not entirely his fault that we haven't seen each other. If I had the money I would fly out there today. I know he would do the same. Everything in the universe is working against us, and now we are too.

"I told you this wouldn't work, but you had to guilt trip me into trying. So, here I am! Not denying you what you wanted. Which is a sad excuse for a relationship." I freeze and shut my eyes feeling the regret burn on my tongue.

Eddie doesn't say anything for a moment and I'm holding my breath with every second passing. I pinch the bridge of my nose out of frustration. The words came out all wrong. It wasn't what I planned to say. My anger took the wheel and slammed on the gas pedal.

"Fuck me for at least trying." He sneers. "I'll save you from more guilt and I'll call off this sad excuse of a relationship. You won't have to wait by the phone for my calls anymore. Is that what you want, Madi?" His voice is sharp.

My mouth is dry and my words are stuck in my throat. His words are a reflection of mine, but they hurt worse coming from his voice. I don't think I've ever felt true heartbreak until this moment. I can hear the pain in his voice and that hurts me more than I ever imagined.

I shake my head, trying to clear my head. I can either tell him I'm sorry, which will push us back into this never-ending cycle of unrealistic expectations of a relationship or a potential relationship in the unknown future. Or I can take this moment to rip the bandaid off.

Why should I let this continue? It's only furthering our pain because it's either going to end now or later. So, I'll carry around the shame and guilt of breaking his heart now just to prevent him from hurting more in the future. Because this is inevitable.

"Yes," I whisper with tears in my eyes. I can't feel my heart beating, because at this moment I don't think I have one. I want to crawl out of my skin and hide. I feel sick to my stomach.

I hear his shaking breath through the phone and the sound that follows it causes my legs to give out.

Click.

And then the dial tone replaces the silence, causing me to flinch.

I close my eyes as I slide down to the floor. I drop the phone and I hear it bounce off the wall. I wrap my arms around my knees, bringing them close to my chest as I sob.

I think back to when Eddie and I were standing in the airport. I mentally step into the shoes of who I used to be in his eyes. I savor it because she's dead to him now. I'm never going to be that girl from the summer of '86. This awful version of me has replaced her in his mind and I think that's what hurts the most.

Now the phone that I've waited by for the past nine months holds the last memory I have with Eddie, and it's mocking me in the form of a never-ending dial tone. The beeping sound forms into laughter. The type of laugh that says "You foolish girl."

_______

*A/N: Surprise! ❤️
A little something to get you through today.