CLOSE BEHIND | F. Hargreeves²

07

Beau was suffering with the cold shoulder Five was giving to him, how he would give him blunt answers to his questions or brush him off completely as if he meant next to nothing. Was it deserved? Probably but that didn't mean Beau found it any less difficult. 

It seemed Five knew what he was doing because he was really making Beau feel terrible about what he did and it was probably to do with Jude and him living with Beau, he knew that much. But the situation with Jude was something he couldn't quite explain to its fullest extent, no matter what he said Five would be upset with him, even if Beau was nowhere near close to cheating. 

As Beau watched Five, leaning against the bathroom door while Five inspected the scratch marks on his jaw, he ran through all the different scenarios of how their conversation could play out and most of those ended in a heated argument. It all made Beau realise why he thought relationships were so terrible for most of his life.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Beau wondered aloud, crossing his arms and waiting for an outburst that may or may not make an appearance.

Five glanced up at Beau through the mirror before he looked away and cleared his throat, "Talk about what?"

"Maybe about us... if that's still a thing." Beau trailed off in a bitter tone he had tried his best to keep inside. Despite everything feeling a little unfair Beau still didn't think he was allowed to be sour towards Five while Five was justified and yet if he wasn't one of the two people in the relationship, he would think both sides weren't right.

"What about us?" Five questioned nonchalantly although it was clear he was trying not to yell or bicker like Beau knew he really wanted to.

Beau sighed, "Look, yes I can read minds, even though you're doing really well at keeping me out, but I don't know what you want or how I can fix it and unless you tell me nothing is going to get better." He wanted to reach out and grab him in his arms but thought better of it.

"There's nothing to fix." Five shrugged, throwing the blood-stained towel into the sink.

Beau raised a brow, forcing back a scoff, "Do you actually believe that or do you just not want to talk about it?"

"It doesn't matter, okay? There are more important things to worry about."

That was like a major blow to the heart, Beau almost couldn't breathe with the idea of Five possibly losing all feeling for Beau like it was nothing. Can one just lose their love so quickly?

"We're not important?"

"I didn't say that." Five huffed, turning around to face Beau but not actually looking at him.

"You kind of did."

"Don't you think saving the world should be our number one priority?"

"That was your priority before and yet you still found the time to drag me along and tell me you love me." It was probably a low blow but it needed to be said and with the way Five was acting Beau was just finding himself more and more confused.

Five gaped at Beau, his eyes meeting Beau's for once, "That's unfair."

"You're being unfair."

"Well, you're the one who can't seem to keep it in his pants." 

Beau frowned, "What?"

"First you had a wife, which sure she was an illusion but still, and now you have some... stranger living in your house and acting like you two are a happy couple." Five exclaimed and suddenly Beau could see how saddened he was, "Are you going to marry him too?"

Beau knew Five could be difficult but he didn't know how jealous he could really be and with it all coming out he was starting to realise how much his partner had tried to keep from him. Did Five know that he was being ridiculous and was just doing them both a favour by not saying anything? Did he really think Beau was only at fault?

"I didn't even know you loved me then and you were gone for seventeen years, Five, give me some credit here," Beau almost pleaded, "and then I was sent back in time for a year and a half, what did you expect? For me to not socialize with anyone? Trust me I tried. I mean, it's not like I'm even with Jude romantically, okay? We talked about that. And, yes, I know, I know it wasn't your fault, you had no idea but you have to realise that I was lost and confused and I just wanted someone."

"So where was Rosie?!"

"She was there, of course, she was, but after I fell in love with you I really saw that she wasn't real and that made me question everything and how much I actually needed someone there for me. I've never had that, Five, I'm always the one taking care of others."

Vanya and Klaus certainly needed him with the nightmares and the addictions and abandonment issues the two of them faced. Beau understood they couldn't take care of themselves and that meant they couldn't be there for him in the same way but they tried their best, they really did, and that's more than Beau could ask for. But then Five came back and he made Beau see how good it felt to be wanted and needed and cared for by someone that could really look after themself and in turn someone else, Five was there for him whether he knew that or not and Beau didn't know how much he wanted that.

Five averted his glare, hard gaze turning melancholic and eyes filled with unshed tears. His features contorted in pain and Beau could feel all of the emotion flowing off of him for once. 

With all of the added stress and anger, it was no surprise to see the mirror vibrating with Beau's overwhelming power, neither of them seemed to notice, however.

Five took in a deep breath, "I understand that but I- you can't just expect me to let it all go. He's... nice, pretty, creative. Do you love him more than me?" He screwed his eyes shut tightly, afraid of Beau's answer.

"Do I love him more than you?" Beau was completely floored by the question, "I can't- why would-... no! You think just because I found someone nice that I'm going to throw everything we have away? I wouldn't have done that even if you left me for another seventeen years." Beau scoffed and Five opened his eyes to stare at him, "Emotions, you know they scare me and you know I have a hard time understanding them but with you... with you, it's so much easier. I hated you when we were kids, that much was clear, and when I look back on it I could easily see how my feelings for you were changing. You're it for me, Five, you're all I need."

Pale skin turned soft pink and dull green eyes brightened in the most beautiful of ways. Beau took a step forward and brushed a hand over the boy's fringe lovingly, maybe words didn't have to be his downfall anymore, maybe he could explain himself after all. 

"I love you and only you," Beau whispered.

Five gave a weak smile a lone tear fell from the corner of his eye like a display of relief, "Okay. I love you too, Beau, I just needed to hear you say it."

"You have nothing to worry about, love, I'm here." Beau pulled him into his arms and rested his head atop Five's with so much solace. He just hoped that would the end to the pain in his heart because for the first time in days it had left his body.

. . .

This one was a lot shorter than usual but here is some content of just Five and Beau together talking about their relationships because I knew we all needed it. I felt bad for not updating in a while but I did finish my other book so I'm happy about that.

I hope you all enjoyed and if you did please vote :)