I guess we can all identify that we've read or started reading a story where main girl has the crappiest life possible and yet practices opera in her spare time to wow the bitches at school -
We've all read about Miss Tragic - views her life as emotionally traumatic as Romeo and Juliet and can't see beyond two weeks of ridiculously horrific bullying. After that, everything is entirely surprisingly perfectly dramatic.
You've all seen those stories - the ones with blurbs that go something like "as if that wasn't enough ...she's also falling in love with the hot jerk"
So Skylar falls for typical bad boy Jayden amid a background of abuse, hang gliding, bullying and opera singing.
ten minutes later:
Jayden is staring at me from behind the pillar while I'm snarfing down my pizza. "You look like a model when you consume that enigmatically majestic pizza," He whispered.
73 seconds later
Jayden leans into me, his hot gross stinky breath strangely alluring against my own hot gross stinky breath. We make out while inside I still think longingly of the life where I could eat burger king on the couch in peace.
3 minutes later
I don't know if I love him. Dad will probably get out his shotgun again but he got in trouble the last time when he put a tunnel through my last horrible boyfriend who liked to take unconsented footage of me and my pizza.
70 minutes later
I cradle my baby in my arms. Sucks that Jayden isn't around anymore because of the opera accident. It wasn't my fault his ears couldn't take my singing and decided to make him crash his hang glider.
89 years later
where is he tho
The end
edit july 2021: So, yeah, i'm back, and i'm editing these to end them off better so they're actually more constructive. without further ado:
Rambling point #1: we know when you're being tragic for tragic's sake. So please make her tragic life affect the plot in a meaningful way.
Rambling point # 2: Don't make your couple have the proverbial baby 70 minutes after the first conversation. Realistic timelines are key!
if you're still here... I'm amazed. honestly.
Love, Steph.
YOU ARE READING
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