Poetry because why not? ~part 1~

why not me?

you look at her a way you never look at me

you hold me captive for so many years but you let her free.

when she is gone, you still talk of her, even her worst days

please, let me know that you felt the same when you saw me that way.

you look at me like you hate me even when i do what i'm suppose to do

you put my mind and my heart under your spells, through and through.

you tell me im crazy when i bring it up

but why do you look away from me as if im corrupt?

you hand me your problems to wash them away

and im left with this burden of weight to just sit and lay.

I look at her and try to do what she does

but somehow, even if i do my best, she always seems one step ahead, she cant be outdone.

when shes gone, and i feel your warmth, i know its not mine

i mean if it was, why not show it until this time?

why not listen to me like you've done when she was yours

now she's left the safe house, and you still love her to the core.

what is wrong with me?

why is everything I do always cause you to disagree?

you love me when shes not there, primarily out of fear

and when both of you are so far down the road, ill still be here.

you love the way she laughs

maybe if i sounded like her perhaps.

if i asked you about her favorite song i know you'd get it right

you would know mine if everytime i talked to you it didnt end in a fight.

i must hide behind a love thats not even there

and make a mask like her to wear.

you may look up at me a while on and try to remember everything we spoke of

but you'd have to turn back around because I was second to the place I held you above.