𝓇𝑒𝓊𝓃𝒾𝓉𝑒𝒹 - lev cameron

Chapter 9

TW: Panic attack

I stood blankly in the middle of the room. I could see everyone walking around and hear words being changed through the tense air in the room. But I couldn't feel anything, my mind was blank.
This was exactly what I was frightened about, I may have just ruined a friendship. If not even two.

A ringing sound went through my ears and I felt a tingling feeling climb down my spine. My legs went numb. I was frozen, I couldn't even move a finger. I wanted to scream, I wanted someone to get me out of this ringing and cold bubble of panic. But I stopped myself.

I could hear myself talking and soon enough I heard Emily's voice.

"Flavie, what's wrong?" I heard her whisper in my ear. I didn't have the courage to say anything again. What if I already said anything stupid?

"Me and Flavie are just getting a glass of water" Emily interrupted the other's conversation while dragging my arm making my legs stumble in front of me.

She shut the door behind me and met my eyes with an overwhelmed and stressed look in her eyes.

"Flavie, I need you to breathe," she said while walking me to the nearest bathroom.
"Flavie, could you please just squeeze my hand"
I did what she said and squeezed her hand tight, she locked the bathroom door and sat me down on the toilet seat.

"What is happening? Are you thinking about something?" she said while searching in my eyes waiting for a response.

"I..I just..I" I heard myself fighting the urge to try and speak.

"It's okay, take your time," she said, smiling calmly.

"I'm sorry," I said while my eyes started watering.

"No don't be sorry, why should you be sorry," Emily said wiping away a tear from my cheek.

"I just ruined Piper's and Gavins friendship and mine and Piper's," I said looking down in my hands. My whole body was shaking and it felt like hundreds of cold breezes were hitting my body at the same time.

"Flavie, you didn't ruin anything. Do you understand that? You helped us with something we never could've done" she said trying to make eye contact "None of us wanted Gavin here, what you did was amazing. Honestly, we should all thank you" she said, calming me.

"What if Piper hates me?" I said taking small breaths and searching around the room with my eyes.

"No she does not, I don't know why she would act like she did but I can reassure you that she doesn't hate you." Emily declared while staring deep into my eyes. "Do you have these a lot?" she let out.

"What?" I said, confused.

"Panic attacks. I have them too sometimes, you can talk to me." she said, comforting me.

"Yeah, quite often. How did you–?..." I started but got interrupted.

"You were shaking," she said straight away.

"Did anyone else notice?" I questioned.

"I don't think so. Do you want to get out of this house before anyone finds us?" Emily said, smiling widely.

"Yeah" I smiled back while standing up more than ever wanting to sit right back down because of the weird feeling in my legs. Thank goodness Emily was here holding my hand ceeping me by her side. Or I would've been crying on the floor right now.

We rushed down the stairs, Emily still holding my hand tight. She glanced around the bottom floor making sure we wouldn't run into somebody. Then I felt my hand being pulled and off we went out the front door now sprinting down the sidewalk.
We were outside my house and stopped on my doorstep.

"Let's hide in my room," I said, stepping into the doorframe. Emily smiled in response.

While up in my room I quickly closed the curtains and took a deep breath. Emily laid back in my bed staring up at the ceiling.

"Do you ever feel like a big black hole just swallowed you when you get stressed, or maybe that doesn't make sense but-" she said trying to explain.

"I get exactly what you mean. Do you ever feel a tingling or shivering feeling travelling down your spine? " I asked laying myself down next to her.

"Yeah, I hate that feeling. It feels like someone is placing ice on the spine and suddenly, everything goes frozen." she spoke, still staring deep into the ceiling.

"Do you ever get a ringing sound in your ears?" I said while fidgeting with my fingers.

"Yeah, and when it happens everything goes quiet," she said, turning to look at me. "Sometimes that quiet is very peaceful, it's a special quiet."

"The quiet when you can't feel or see or talk, you're just there." I continued staring into her eyes.

"Yeah. That quiet."

Cassie <3
I hope you liked this chapter it was kind of hard to write and sorry for not being super long. It was kind of my perspective of my panic attacks and how I feel. Have a great night/day we love you always!

And remember you're not alone! <3