I knew what to say, but you weren't there to hear it.

Please don't go, please don't go!

"Did you hear me, Connor?"
Miguel's panicked voice hissed into his ears, causing Connors eyes to flick open. Connor only responded in a groan as his eyes focused. It was bright, and the ceiling had white tiling. He heard the beeping of machinery.
"Where.. am I?" Connor groaned out, his words more slurred then usual. Then he saw Miguel, his brown curly hair streaking his face. He looked worried, panicked. He was dreaming, right? There was no way this was real.
"Oh, thank God.." Miguel whispered, shaking his head. He turned his head towards the door. Connors family, if you could call them that, was here.
"Oh, he just woke up." Miguel shuffled back, shaking his head. They hadn't even noticed when Conner left that evening.
"Where am I?" Connor suddenly repeated, reminding Miguel he had never even answered. "You're in the hospital, Connor. You dont remember?'
Connor tried hard to remember, but all he remembered was walking from his house in the evening.
"No.." He whispered.
"You texted me. You said you missed me. When i responded you told me it was too late, Connor."
Connor shook his head. "I did..?" He groaned.
Miguel nodded slowly, his eyes welling with tears and threatening to fall.
"Connor." Cynthia whispered. "Im so glad you're okay. Im so glad.. you're safe."
Connor was too focused on his hallucinations to say anything. A common side affect of over dosing.
A doctor walked in, clearing his throat.
"We put seizure pads up already. A common side effect of and overdose. He'll also likely hallucinate."
Cynthia shook her head. "My poor baby.."
Miguel watched Larry and Zoe. They where quiet. Well, almost.
"Who are you?" Larry asked, looking up at Miguel.
"Im.. ah. Im Connors friend."
Larry nodded. "I didn't know he had friend.
Cynthia shot him a look, causing Larry to be silent.
Zoe looked up at Miguel, her brown hair streaking her tear stained face. She wiped it on her sleeve.
But she still chose silence.
"Thank you, so much." Cynthia pulled Miguel into a tight hug.
"Uhm.. my names Miguel, Mrs. Murphy."
"Please, call me Cynthia." She whispered. Her voice was so delicate, and fragile. Miguel probably could have shattered it.
Connor was out cold again, but he was alive. That was what mattered.
Miguel was glad he knew to look at Ellison State Park. If he hadn't, Connor might not be here right now. And he couldn't lose him twice.
"You're welcome, Cynthia.. I just.. wanted him to be safe."
She pulled away, but did not let go of Miguel.
She was staring at him, he knew. But he didn't mind.
She gave nice hugs.
Larry cleared his throat. "How long until he recovers?"
The doctor looked at him. "Two days physically, but the psychois symptoms may be persistent."
Larry nodded, falling silent again.
"Im staying here." Cynthia said sternly, looking at the doctor.
"Thats alright. However, only one visitor is allowed to stay here completely. I hope thats alright with you..?"
Cynthia nodded. "Larry, take Miguel and Zoe home."
"But mom-" Zoe finally spoke up.
"No. Just go home Zoe, please." Cynthia pleaded.
Zoe gave in and nodded.
Miguel followed the daddy daughter pair out of the room, looking back at Connor. He hoped he wouldn't be upset with him.
Once in the car, Zoe looked over at Miguel.
"I didn't know he had friends.. Honestly." She whispered.
Miguel laughed softly. "We stopped being friends awhile ago.. I suppose he wanted to change that."
Zoe nodded. "He needed a friend."
Miguel just nodded, being silent.

~'*'~

The last two weeks of Connors life may have been the worse. Out of the hospital in two days, into a mental one for two weeks. He didn't see the point. He'd already learned his lesson, 'Hey kids, dont kill yourself!'
He had hated it here, but this place, home, seemed even worse. Maybe he'd rather be at the psych ward. At least there, people liked him.
He slowly grabbed his bag from the car, slinging it over his shoulder and humming softly.
Larry stopped him at the door.
"Dont think we dont expect you to try anymore. You're still going to school tomorrow."
Connor groaned, rolling his eyes. "Whatever." He stormed off upstairs, slamming his door behind him.
At least nothing had changed about this.
Everything was in the same spot, his books, his desk, his bed. The only difference is that the throw up had been washed from his bed sheets, and it no longer reeked of weed.
One more thing was right where he had left it.
Evan Hansens letter.
He had planned on tossing it out. But now, since his plan had been foiled, he figured he could give it back.
A gentle knock at his door caused him to tense as it was pushed open. It was Cynthia.
"Connor.. we just want whats best for you."
"Oh yeah, don't worry, I know. That's why you rely on facilities for your crazy son Connor Murphy, right?"
Cynthia gently reached her hand out.
Connor shot back. "Dont touch me!" Connor shouted, turning away.
"Just leave me alone.."
Cynthia nodded and gently closed the door behind her as she left.
Thats when he realized his lock was no longer on the door. But at least he had his door still.
He unpacked his bag slowly, his favorite hoodie now missing the strings. Nobody would notice anyway. Now that he was unpacked, he sat on his bed, exhaling a loud sigh. His phone was on his night stand, untouched.
He unlocked his phone and texted Miguel.
ConnorSmokesGrass: Thanks for saving my life, lmao.
MiguelEatsAss: Of course. The least I could do lmao.
ConnorSmokesGrass: Wanna hang out sometime?
MiguelEatsAss: Are you asking me on a date? Lmao. Sure. I'd love to.

Connor smiled at his phone. Maybe Miguel did want to be friends. Maybe he was wrong about it.
Zoe appeared in his doorway.
"Miguel seemed nice.." She whispered.
"What do you want, Zoe?" Connor whispered.
"I just wanted to check in." Zoe whispered.
"Bullshit." Connor sat up. "No you didn't."
Zoe looked hurt, but it was true.
"Why didn't you tell me about Miguel?" she finally asked.
"I don't know if you noticed Zoe, but we aren't exactly close."
Zoe nodded. "I know, but.. well. He saved your life, and none of us even know who he is.." Zoe said. "Does that seem right to you?"
"Actually yeah, it does Zoe. Nobody cared about me then, nobody will care now."
"You almost killed yourself, Connor."
"Wouldn't that be a fucking blessing?"
Zoe huffed. "You don't get it, Connor."
"What dont I get Zoe?" Connor sat up, eyeing her. "Go ahead, enlighten me."
"People love you, Connor. We love you Connor."
"Oh my God." Connor laughed. "You sound just like Cynthia, and you know what? That just isn't true, Zoe. Nobody would notice."
Zoe sighed and turned around, shaking her head. "Maybe you're right.."
Connor rolled his eyes and laid back down, allowing himself to drift off into sleep.