Please Love Me | JJK

Epilogue: The Honeymoon (09)

It's a bittersweet moment this afternoon, as you bid your final goodbye - to the ocean, the friends you've made, to your home the past days that laid witness to your most vulnerable and beautiful moments with your husband.

You'll miss the island but you know you made the most out of your time here, and you're excited to go back home and love each other even better.

It's the next day when you're able to visit Seokjin and Mina and their little ball of sunshine. It's a Jeon and Kim family affair, with everyone around all happy you're both back.

Mina enters the living room carrying their son wrapped in a blanket. Your eyes widen, taking him in your arms.

"Hello, little angel. Say hello to your Auntie," you whisper. "I can't wait to get to know you and spoil you."

You turn to Jungkook who's watching you, his eyes softening at the sight of you being happy with a child. It shouldn't be a surprise, given how much the twins adore you.

Jungkook settles next to you and marvels at the smallness of everything - the baby's nose, lips, fingers. Even the sounds he makes. He's an adorable little human, so precious and made with so much love, as he turns to Seokjin who's tying Mina's hair and fixing her nursing cover, laughing over something his wife has said.

Jungkook turns to you, face so tender as you look at a child who isn't even yours, but you look at him like he is.

Jungkook feels a pang in his chest. You want this, you want a family. Knowing you, you wouldn't deliberately say it if it means making him feel bad. He doesn't want both of you to miss out on something so precious just because he's scared.

Let's love the fear away, you'd said. You'd sounded so sure then, like all your love could be enough.

Maybe it is.

**

Jungkook is quiet again as you hand him his glass of warm milk and you settle next to him on your balcony back in your apartment, a cup of tea on yours. You both look out at the city below, buzzing and alive.

He'd been quiet at your brother's house and in the car, too, where you laid your hand on top of his to calm the thoughts in his mind that you know have been bothering him, and to affirm him that whatever they are, you're both going to be fine.

"You want to have children, ___," he says softly.

"I want to have children with you, Jungkook," you affirm.

"I want to give you a family," he turns to you.

"Honey, that's not something you give, it's something we make. And I know you're scared - scared for me and our future child and that's okay but," you take his hands in yours.

"I just want to love, Jungkook. I may have had a difficult time growing up but I was very much loved by the people around me, and that's how I survived, that's what made it better. I saw it in their eyes, and I still do. In my parents', my siblings', my friends'. And in yours, Kook. I see how you love me."

"I do, very much."

"And I know I said before that in our marriage, that wouldn't matter but I was wrong because how we love each other is always going to be enough. It will be enough to ease our worries, to get over our fears. I want that love always, and I want a child, a family, whom I can love and look at and they'll know that they're loved. Because it's what we have for each other, and it's what we can give."

Your faith in him, the one that let you keep your affection for him for years, the one that let you hang onto him during the times he hurt you, is the same faith that shows him of his ability to love - past pain, past worries, past fear. As long as he has you.

"I want that for us." He pulls you in a hug. "I want our child to grow up in this world, in a home we set up for them. That would be nice," he finally smiles, eyes crinkling.

You decide to go to the doctor regularly to get checked, to make sure it's safe for you to go through a pregnancy. If not, there are always other options. You'll start there and take baby steps, you both agree.

"You know, saying yes to you that day at the beach was the best decision I made," Jungkook says as he lays on your chest that night.

"Yeah, because I was totally the one who proposed," you laugh.

"You had your mind made up," he defends. "We worried about not being able to love each other but now... That's all we do."

"And it's what we'll keep doing, Jungkook."

You turn him to face you. He's said before that your beating heart is his lifeline; for you it's his eyes. It's how you can tell when he's angry or happy or scared. There's hope in them tonight, and you know given everything that's happened the past week, this is enough.