Healing Nature

29. The 83rd Annual Villy Awards

"A good idea after the last attempt, though I'm afraid you will have to elaborate for Harley." Y/n says to Ivy.

"Oh, I'm gonna make it less explodey." Ivy clarifies to her.

"Oh yeah. Good thinkin', Ive." Harley says as she moves to sit down.

"So, next step, I gotta get our hands on..." Ivy begins but Harley screams surprising Y/n and Ivy.  

"What is the matter?" Y/n asks as they turn to see Harley on her phone.

"I can't find the damn unsubscribe button in this email. It just pisses me off." Harley says.

"I see..." Y/n says before he turns back to Ivy. "Please continue."  

"So what we really have to do..." Ivy starts but Harley screams again getting their attention. 

"I found the button, thank god." Harley sighs in relief.  

Before Y/n and Ivy even have a chance to talk Harley screams again. 

"And they sent you the email confirming you unsubscribed." Ivy says.

"No, no, listen to this you two." Harley says quickly getting up. "The Academy of Evil Arts and Science, in association with the Gotham Foreign Press, is honored to announce the nomination of Harley Quinn, Ponytail Guy and Poison Ivy for Best Couple at the 83rd Annual Supervillain Awards!" Harley screams excitedly.

"While I do want to remain unknown, I do wish they would use a better nickname." 

"Well you have to pick a villain name muffin." Harley says.

"Ugh, the Villys?" Ivy groans. "Oh, great, another gaudy award show for egomaniacs. Why would they think that we wanna attend that circle jerk?" 

"Cause I always win that circle jerk." Harley tells her.

"Well, why keep jerkin' then? Why do you need more awards?" Ivy asks.

"Cause all those wins were with Joker." Harley says annoyed. "That clown kept every Villy for himself. Didn't even let me on stage. I never got to give the big speech and I live for the big speech. Hell, one time he didn't even take me, he just took one of his goons. Dean."

"Oh it was Dean?" Ivy says.

"I don't even know who Dean is..." Y/n comments.

"I wanna be on that stage with you guys, holding up our Villy right in middle of that circle jerk." Harley tells them.

"Honey, I just got my lab setup and Y/n's in the middle of trying to set his own up. I've got momentum on this plan. I'm in the zone! And I mean like, when have I actually even used the words "in the zone"? Ivy says.

"Oh, can't you step out of the zone for one night, and then after pop right back into the zone?" Harley asks holding up a kitten that meows. "Please, please..."

Ivy looks to Y/n for his input.

"I leave the choice to you." Y/n says folding his arms. 

Ivy exhales sharply. "Okay, okay, screw it, let's go win this award." 

 Harley screams with delight. 

"But I'm having three Long Island ice teas and no one's stopping me. No ice." Ivy tells her. 

"Fuck yeah!" Harley says.

"Very well, I shall go and find an outfit." Y/n says.

An actor was on a set as they held a phone to their ear. "First thing tomorrow, Martha, I announce my retirement and focus on our family. Put little Brucie on, will ya. Heya, sport. I know I haven't always been here for you, but I promise that's over now. Tell mother to wear her pearls cause tonight we're going to the movies!"