Sunbeam

27.

"We're leaving, now!" Namjoon ordered and started throwing his clothes into the suitcase. "But we're tired and..." Namjoon cut Taehyung off. "You will sleep in the car!" he snaps and Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung wearily head for the door, leaving Namjoon alone in his bedroom, wondering why Ari kept not answering him and why Seokjin was yelling at him instead of telling him where Ari was.

November 20, 2019

The four of them arrived around five in the morning, Yoongi, Jimin, and Taehyung were asleep and Namjoon parked outside the entrance, not bothering to wake them up, but all three of them jumped when he slammed the door, getting out of the car, angrier than ever.

Namjoon flew into the house and headed straight for the bedroom, taking two steps at a time. He swung the door open and turned on the lights, determined to find out now why Ari hadn't been answering his calls and hadn't even bothered to return at least one of them.

However, the room was empty. He narrowed his eyes and looked into the bathroom, the door slightly open and the lights off. He cursed and walked towards Izeul's room. He opened it silently and stared at the bed. His daughter was sound asleep. Alone! Where, the hell, was Ari?

Namjoon looked at his daughter for a few more seconds and then silently closed the door again and stood in front of the door thoughtfully. In the kitchen! Turning on his heel, he walked downstairs and into the kitchen.

He checked the living room, his office, and even the small park behind the house with equal success. "She's in the lounge" he turned sharply. Seokjin was leaning against the kitchen doorframe, hands on his chest.

"I wouldn't go there" Seokjin stopped him as Namjoon walked back to the small park, behind which their training room was located. "Why?" Namjoon glared at him, hand on the lock.

“You're not going to like what you're about to find.” Seokjin shrugged nonchalantly. "And what am I going to find?" Namjoon asked, gritting his teeth.

"It's not my job to tell you, but I still suggest you wait and calm down before you do something stupid" Seokjin advised and left him alone. However, Namjoon was too angry to listen to advice.

He flew out the door and, teeth still clenched, burst into the gym to find Ari dressed for practice with Jungkook, who Namjoon thought was standing too close to her, showing her boxing moves.

"Get your hands off her, dammit!" Namjoon roared and stalked menacingly towards Jungkook, who backed away startled. However, Ari blocked his way. "Welcome home, sir!" she greeted him cheerfully and Namjoon glared at her.

"Not now, baby, I'll kill him first, then we'll talk!" Namjoon growled, pushing her aside effortlessly. "Mr. Kim, why don't you calm down a bit, can I make you some tea?" he froze in place and looked at her in confusion. "Mr. Kim?" Namjoon repeated and she gave him a sweet smile.

"I'd rather leave you…" Jungkook muttered, sidestepping Namjoon like he was toxic and almost running out of the lounge. Ari looked after him, then sighed, shaking her head. "I guess that was it for today." she turned, took the towel around her neck and a bottle of water and headed for the exit as well.

"Where do you think you're going!" Namjoon grabbed her forearm and turned her towards him, locking her gaze. "Sir, I don't think it's right for you to hold me like this..." Ari tilted her head slightly, looking at him indifferently.

"Sir, Mr. Kim? What the hell is wrong with you, honey, why are you talking to me so formally?" Namjoon hissed, sliding an arm around her waist, trying to suppress his anger.

Ari waved his hand away and stepped back with an innocent expression. Her heart was pounding and she was having a hard time keeping a calm expression. In fact, she wanted to throw herself into his arms, make sure he was okay. But she also needed to be sure that they really had a future, so she tried hard to stick to her plan.

"And what do you suggest I call you, sir, after all, that's how I should address my boss, isn't it?" her voice was calm, unlike her stomach, which was loudly rebelling against this whole game. "What…? What are you talking about? Baby, please…" Namjoon reached for her again and Ari stepped back again. He looked at her in confusion and then at his hand, as if he couldn't figure out why it was hanging empty in the air.

"Ari, I'm tired, I'm angry, and I don't have the nerve for a game like this." Namjoon looked at her intently, searching for an explanation for her behavior. "It's not a game, sir. You're my boss and I'm just a nanny. What...happened between us, as nice as it was, is over." her voice shook despite her efforts and to hide her tears she spun around and ran for the door, leaving him staring like an idiot after her.

Namjoon was frozen to say the least. Was she leaving him, breaking up with him? What the hell did "it's over" mean? What had happened while he was gone?

He shook his head and followed her. She owed him an explanation and he was going to get it at any cost. He had almost caught up with her when he saw her instead of heading for their bedroom, turn down the hall past his office where the servants' quarters were.

Namjoon followed her and she was just closing the door when he stopped her. "What does that mean, honey?" Namjoon asked, looking at her nervously and burying his anger.

Ari looked at him. She couldn't hold back her tears anymore. "It's over, Namjoon." she looked down, biting her lip to keep from crying. "What?" his heart stopped and a lump lodged in his throat. "What... What are you talking about, what's over?" he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently.

"Answer me, baby?!" she winced at the pain in his voice and looked up at him. His eyes were darkened, full of questions and incomprehension. "I'm breaking up with you, Namjoon" Arie whispered and looked down again, unable to take the pain in his eyes.

"What?" Namjoon dropped his hands and took a step back. "W-why?" he nearly choked trying to catch his breath. Ari sighed and turned her back on him, leaving her water and towel on the small bed she was sleeping on.

"Look around, Namjoon, what do you see?" Ari asked, turning to him again. He looked around the room uncomprehendingly. "Your stuff?" he asked quietly and she nodded. "That's right, my stuff. And what's missing in the rest of the house, Namjoon?" she asked again. Namjoon was still looking at her blankly and she pulled him closer, cupping his face. “I'm not a part of your life, Namjoon. I'm just filling the void left by your wife.” he blinked startled and shook his head.

"That's not true baby, I love you!" Namjoon demanded and she shook her head again. "I know, I love you too. But no… I can't continue this relationship if I'm going to be in the shadows fighting ghosts, Namjoon." her chin quivered and tears flowed. "I don't feel like the woman next to you, Namjoon, but like a shadow behind Binna. And as much as I respect her, I will never stand side by side with her until you let me, until you want me to." Namjoon he looked at her horrified.

"Honey, you're not behind her. You know she'll always be my first love, I can't just forget her!" Namjoon insisted and she smiled through her tears. "I don't want you to forget her, baby." Ari closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Look, I know you love me, I know you want me, but I don't feel really loved, Namjoon," Ari tried to explain, but he still looked at her blankly.

She sighed and took his hand, leaving the room. Namjoon followed her into his office. "Look" she pointed at his desk and he blinked wondering what he should see. Ari looked at him expectantly, but he clearly still didn't get it. She pulled his hand again and this time led him into the bedroom, pointing to the nightstands that had several more pictures of him and Binna on them.

"I can't…" Namjoon trailed off and stared at the lockers again. "When you do, then maybe if you prove it's worth it, I'll come back to you, Namjoon. But until then, it's over between us." Ari reached up slightly and kissed him on the cheek, leaving him still staring at the lockers wondering what exactly had just happened.