fragile | clexa

chapter forty three

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"Clarke?" Lexa asked panically. "No, no, no," she whispered to herself as she rushed forward. "Clarke? Clarke, look at me."

The only response was that Clarke buried her face deeper in her knees and subtly, maybe not at all, shook her head.

"Please," Lexa begged softly. "Just for a moment. Look at me just for a second."

Clarke shook her head again and her arms hugged her legs closer, tighter.

"Where are you hurting?" Lexa hastily asked. "What happened?"

Clarke didn't reply and it made Lexa freak out. "Clarke, please, where does it hurt?"

It was quiet for several seconds until Clarke bit out a single word "Stomach." All color left Lexa's face. If anything had happened to such a sensitive area including blood-

"Clarke," she said slowly, her heart beating in her throat. "Please look at me now."

Clarke lifted her head only slightly, only after another while. She had clearly been crying and looked terribly in pain, showing in the sweat that had built on her forehead and the far too unusual paleness.

"It's okay, just lower your legs, alright?" Lexa asked, trying not to let her hurry be shown. How long had Clarke been sitting there? What and who on earth had happened to her?

Clarke only moved with hesitation. Her knees moved from her chest, exposing the rest of her body, exposing her stomach. Lexa tore up the fabric of Clarke shirt and-

And frowned.

"Clarke?" she asked carefully. "Your stomach is alright. I can see nothing about it."

"It's hurting," Clarke sobbed.

"From the inside? Like a stomach ache?" Lexa asked confused and Clarke nodded weakly.

"Lexa I think I'm dying," she got out, her legs moving back against her chest and her breathing faint.

"How long have you been here?"

"A few hours?"

A few hours? Lexa looked around. It wasn't much blood for a few hours. Slowly, with the stomach pain added, a possibility dawned on her. "Oh my God. Are you- you know..."

"Bleeding my whole stomach out from the inside?" Clarke asked, a tone of shame layering her strained voice. "Yes."

"Oh my God!" Lexa squealed and Clarke looked as though at her as though she had gone crazy. "Oh my God that's amazing!"

And then, adding to Clarke's fear that madness had finally taking over Lexa, Lexa hugged her, careful not to hurt her further. For several long seconds, she just kneeled there and hugged Clarke before sighing and whispering into her hair, "You scare me sometimes, Clarke kom Trikru."

"Lexa I don't think you're entirely getting this."

"Oh I think I am."

And for the next minutes, Lexa explained the concept of periods to Clarke, the use of the cotton pads stacked in the second drawer beneath Lexa's bathroom counter and the painkillers next to them. In fact, after Clarke had swallowed two of them and waited a couple of minutes, the world didn't seem to be ending that much anymore.

"Is this normal?" Clarke asked after Lexa had gotten her into the shower.

"Of course. Every born woman has it."

"Seriously?" she wanted to make sure, and thought she faintly remembered her mom telling her about it too.

Lexa just made a sound of agreement. When Clarke was out of the shower again, her thighs cleaned up, the floor was clean again too and Lexa had laid out fresh clothes. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Don't mention it. You really don't know how glad I am, this is great."

"How would it be great that I'm bleeding my whole insides on your bathroom floor?" Clarke asked with a raised brow and a slightly embarrassed blush on her cheeks.

"It's a sign of health to have it. Among underweight, long-time ill or highly, almost overly trained warriors it often happens that their periods stay out. I myself didn't have it for years. It means your body's getting back into its cycle, that it has enough nutrition and strength to function properly," Lexa explained. Then she added, "Also you can get pregnant now."

"Oh awesome."

-

Clarke did feel bad because Lexa insisted on not going on the planned date that day and she knew that she had already stretched it out for over two months because of her stupid legs.

But then, again, Lexa turned out to be right after all because not soon afterwards, well... other side effects of periods made themselves noticeable, no matter how much Clarke tried to fight them.

So it was that Lexa was only gone for a moment to get lunch and she came back to Clarke bawling her eyes out because she had discovered the Lexa had kept her teddy bear crammed in the bedside table all the time.

"Lexa you're cruel," she sobbed into confused Lexa's arms. And then she thought about how exactly Lexa had been cruel to the poor bear and she started sobbing even more.

Not ten seconds later, Octavia stood in the tent with the obvious excuse that lunch would be brought soon that carried the message of 'If you dare hurt her I'll kill you' over well enough. After Lexa didn't reply and Clarke started weakly hitting the woman's arm, any excuse or indirect message didn't matter anymore either.

"Clarke? Did she hurt you?" Octavia asked sharply, ignoring Lexa's glare.

"She hurt the teddy bear!" Clarke hiccuped and Octavia's brow furrowed. Unwillingly, she shot a questioning look towards Lexa, who, just as unwillingly, shrugged.

-

Clarke turned out to be all content when Lexa put the teddy bear on the bed and tucked him into a towel (his mini blanket). And then again, two or so hours later, she was doing nothing but sadly hanging on Lexa's torso as the other woman was making tea.

In fact, she was doing nothing else but sadly hanging on Lexa's torso for the rest of the day. Neither did she the next day or the day after that. At the evening of that third day though, the sadness was as easily broken as when Lexa brought a bowl of raspberries and offered to tell her another story. Also, Clarke decided she didn't mind that kind of sadness too much. Just being sad about nothing for a while and crying about teddy bears was quite nice for a change.

It was nice too that she could be sad about nothing at all and Lexa still cuddled her and still made her a tea. Still gave her little comfort kisses.

Clarke didn't mourn her period once it was over either though, because despite tea and painkillers, the cramps were still nasty enough. And she finally, finally wanted Lexa to take her on that long due date.

She wanted Lexa to kiss her again like on that one morning, where her lips had stayed for longer than three seconds and her hands had pulled Clarke closer again after each time they had had to part for air. She wanted to forget the image that stared back at her in the mirror and imagine she was with smooth, clean skin, a proper weight and muscles and the same beauty as Lexa possessed it for once.

She thought that maybe, if they went on a date, Lexa would be able to imagine the same. That maybe, Clarke could be pretty enough just for a few hours.

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no guys no one almost killing her this time :) also i accidentally published the chapter when it wasn't finished and took it down again, which is why it showed up for you but wasn't accessible. hope you still enjoyed it, leave a vote if you did and stay safe <3