fragile | clexa

chapter four

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Although Lexa tried, none of them went to sleep after that. Lexa had been awake anyway, and Clarke really didn't want to disappear in that world of nightmares again. Not that she thought her master would allow it.

"Uh- do you want to eat or anything? Take another bath?" Lexa asked awkwardly, trying to make the girl feel better.

"A bath would be very nice, if that's possible," Clarke replied with slightly red cheeks and only after a real long time. It had been only a few hours and she didn't want to be of inconvience, but no possible torture could prevent her body from wanting that warmth engulfing her again. Washing away her nightmare, the hands dragging her into a mess of pain and darkness.

"Of course! Yeah, I'll just set one up," the brunette said quickly and left for the bathroom, filling the bathtub with water and lighting some candles. "The guard from yesterday isn't on shift right now," she then said, "I need you to be watched over, you can choose from the guards at the doors if you'd like."

Clarke's eyes flickered to two broad shouldered men, clutching their weapons as if holding on for dear life.

"Are you okay?" Lexa asked, noticing how pale the blonde went, "They will not look or do anything, just if they notice something."

Clarke didn't verbally reply, she just stiffly nodded. Lexa frowned.

"I could- I could get the guards from downstairs, the main gate of the tower. Or maybe the ones taking care about the rooms under mine. Or- or the ones at the elevator," she desperately proposed, but the thoughts of more and more guards filling the room just sent another jolt of anxiety throught Clarke. "I can do it myself," Lexa then offered when the other girl didn't reply, "But I doubt you'd be more comfortable with that, the guards really wouldn't lo-"

"Please," it left Clarke before she even knew it and Lexa raised an eyebrow.

"Uh- okay. Yeah, sure, no problem. Not at all. I can totally do that, no problem," she rambled and sat down on the floor in the back of the room, staring at a fly taking a walk along the piles.

Clarke couldn't help the weird feeling she got. It wasn't right at all. Having the Heda, her master, sitting on the floor like a slave obeying her while she got to take the luxurios bath. If anyone found out about it, she surely would be punished.

Still, she undressed, remembering the guard's instructions about how to deal with the nightgown from the day before, and slowly slid into the water. It was just the same as it had been the previous day, the feeling of the water hugging her fully and making her forget about her surroundings, forget about the other woman sitting a few feet away. They didn't go away, the hands, but the water just brought a shield between her and all those men. It was quiet, for a bit, even in her mind.

Finally, she let herself close her eyes and let out a relaxed sigh, and although she knew that the position she was in probably was much more vulnerable than when she was wearing clothes, she felt like she was untouchable. Like all the men that had ever laid a finger on her, ever tried to fulfill those disturbing fantasies of them and succeeding, could just storm in now but the water would hold all of them off.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked softly, voice barely above a whisper. It had to be that bath that made her talk. The memory of Jaha's whip stayed away from the water anyway.

"What?" Lexa asked back with a sleepy rasp, and as Clarke opened her eyes, she saw the brunette resting in a more or less comfortable position at the wall, eyes closed.

"Everything. Letting me take a bath although it's comforting."

"Although?" Lexa asked, sitting up a little straighter, "Because."

Clarke furrowed a brow and silently nodded. Because. Did Lexa like her better relaxed?

It made sense, didn't it? Fed and without bruises, she'd look prettier. A stiff body wasn't so fun, maybe, either.

Her eyes closed. The days of not thinking were better. In fact, she didn't at all care about Lexa wanting her prettier, she just wanted it to happen quickly, that her thoughts wouldn't get dangerous in the meantime.

"Would you maybe like to cut your nails?" Lexa asked after Clarke had stepped out of the tub again, interrupting her thoughts. She got up as the blonde was fully dressed, "They look pretty damaged."

And Clarke nodded again, despite that constant fear of a trap, despite the fear that she as a slave was demanding too much. Lexa just got out a little scissor for nails, took her hand and started carefully cutting her damaged nails. It was no less of a strange thing to look at, having the Heda doing work for one. Those clean hands taking care of ones dirty nails.

It felt so damn stupid on top of that. There had been so many men roughly grabbing her hand, to have something to squeeze harshly or to restrain her, that Clarke had forgotten how it felt to have someone gently take her hand. Her mom had done it, or her best friends, Clarke didn't really remember the feeling, but she knew she had thought it comfortable. Although back when she had been 15, she had thought Finn's hand comfortable too, and how well had that worked out?

"Thank you," she said with a slight bow of her head when Lexa was done.

"Of course."

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hi guys, sorry for the short update, I had a really full day. Next updates will be longer :)
stay safe and awesome everyone <3