What we yearn for (unedited)

9 Milan

"My girls? What do you mean my girls? And wait a minute why do you assume I just have random chicks texting me? how do you know it's not work related?"

I was bullshitting of course. even I could read the tones of messages and that text was definitely not work related.

Behind me, my phone chimes, signaling another message came through.

I don't make a motion to turn and look, but Brielle scoots off the sofa and walks over to me.

"What are you doing? don't just-!" slight panic forces my arms upward as she suddenly places Eli against my chest. My first instinct of feeling his small body in my hands is to give him back, but Brielle reaches over on the desk and grabs my phone and looks through it.

"Yeah, that's not work related, smooth operator." She faces the phone to me, and low and behold is full body nude of a rather buxom woman.

'I'm Back in the states. Let me know when you're free.'

I squint trying to peer at the face, but she has the camera an angled so it covers it. not to mention theirs a flash as she snaps the pic in the mirror.

"I couldn't tell you who that was if I wanted to- "

My words are cut off by the irritable sound from Eli, his arms slightly flailing. Suddenly the faceless nude doesn't seem too important.

"you're holding him like sack of potatoes, Milan." Brielle sounds as if she's trying not to burst out laughing. "First time?"

"Well yeah," my gaze snaps toward her in panic. "I never held a kid before. seriously, Elle, take him. I don't want to drop him."

"you're literally sitting down. you can't drop him." she sets my phone back down on the desk.

I lean forward, ready to hand him to her. But Brielle instead maneuvers my arms so I'm not outwardly holding him like a sack of vegetables and instead cradling him in both my arms. similar to how she does.

My heart thrums in my chest the longer I hear what sounds like is about to be a full-on wail for his mother. But Brielle, she doesn't seem the least bit worried or concerned as she looks down at him, murmuring soft words of comfort. she bends down a little, at my seated height. and runs a finger across his small cheek as she does so,

"Its fine, you're fine, baby." She says sweetly.

I know she's talking to him; know she's soothing him. but I can slowly feel my panic start to ease hearing her voice.

But then she looks at me.

I've never really frozen when it's come to women before, and I've been around countless whether intimate or not. But there's something about this moment that feels different from the others; that makes me feel...ensnared.

"See?" She says, her voice quiet, gentle, amused. "He likes you."

I blink rapidly.

I can't tell if Eli is comfortable in my arms cause I'm way to worried about upsetting him. I felt like I was holding a ticking time bomb.

His chestnut brown eyes look up toward me, wandering. I wonder if he can place me from my visits at the house. Prior to today holding him was always something I was cautious of and therefore tried to steer clear of. Avoiding him wasn't something I was trying to actively do though, I swear. whenever Elle had him in his bouncer for a little bit and it looked like he was quickly growing bored of the toys hanging from the attached bar, ironically whenever Elle would step away for a bit, I took it upon myself to entertain him. making constant funny faces usually  kept him entertained long enough until She came back.