Fear of Intimacy

Chapter 17....

I was hurt. Beyond hurt at how easily my parents agreed to some deal without even telling me. They once again used me for their own gain. This wasn't the first time yet this one hurt the most. 

"I-" I once again cut her off.

"The answer is no." With that I hung up before she could say anything else. My phone fell to my bed as I sat there breathing heavy.

My parents wanted to marry me off. They are practically selling me as if I'm a piece of property and not their daughter. They are willing to sacrifice my life, my feelings, my chance of falling in love so they could get more money. I knew my parents were ruthless but not this much.

Trevor's face flashed through my mind. Doing what my parents wanted would mean I'd have to give up Trevor. He wasn't even mine but the thought felt like someone reached into my chest and tore my heart out. I would lose him before I even had him.

Gasping for air I shook my head. No. I wasn't going to allow that.

I'm not letting my parents dictate my life. Especially who I can be with. Not when the person I want is right in front of me and all I have to do is reach out. To hell with my parents. To hell with everyone.

I was up and out of my bed in a matter of seconds. Throwing on a pair of shorts I grabbed my phone and shoes, not even bothering to brush my hair or even change out of my sleeping shirt. Snatching my keys I all but ran down the stairs and outside to my car. I barely felt the splatter of rain as I ran across the parking lot.

I felt nothing as I pulled out and headed in the direction of the only person I wanted to see right now. The only person who mattered.

The ride over passed by in a blur and before I knew it I was shutting my car off and walking up the front steps of a cute little house. I was drenched from the pouring rain but I didn't care as I rang the doorbell. Didn't care that I literally rolled out of bed and probably looked like a drowned rat right now.

I rang the doorbell again, blinking away the water running down my face. It didn't clue in that it was still early until a very drowsy, very ruffled Trevor answered the door. It took him a second to register that I was in front of him.

"Tasha?"

"I..." I was breathing heavy as if I ran all the way here.

"Are you okay?" Trevor looked more awake as he opened the door further, his bare chest coming into view. I shook my head at his question.

I wasn't okay. Nothing was okay right now.

"My parents want to marry me off to some stranger." The words flew from my mouth. It was the first time hearing the words out loud and it sounded even crazier.

"What?" Trevor took a step towards me.

"I said no." I shook my head, water flying around me. My body was shaking but I wasn't sure if it was from the rain, the adrenaline, or what I was about to say.

"I told her no because I'm tired of them trying to dictate my life. Tired of letting stupid things stand in the way of what I want."

Trevor stood there in his doorway staring at me, as I stood in front of his apartment soaked to the bone, talking a million miles an hour.

"But I realized when I hung up the phone that I was letting my fear of getting hurt stand in the way of what I truly want."

"What do you want Tasha?" Trevor's voice was soft but I heard it as if he was standing right next to me.

"I want you."

"Me?" He stepped forward. I nodded, feeling like my heart was in my throat. I couldn't read his face to know if I said the right thing or if I was about to have my heart stomped on.