Arken Needs

34

Arken's

“Happy Birthday, love.” Mahina kong bati kay Reihan na nakatalikod pa saakin. Kahit na nakatalikod siya saakin, I'm still looking at him with adoration and needs. I miss him so much. It's been three years and I know I'm late, but I still wanna make it up with him. He's finally in front of me again, abot kamay ko na siya ulit.

I came back like what I promise to myself. Hindi ko nga lang inakalang matatagalan ako, but I am here now, and this is all I've been waiting for.

Naibuga ko ang hiningang kanina ko pa pala pinipigilan nang dahan-dahang lumingon saakin si Reihan. I've waited so long for this and I can now finally see his sweet face again.

Nang humarap siya saakin ay ang mukha niya agad na matagal kong hinintay na makita muli ang tinitigan ko. My heart was beating so fast while looking at his pretty face that I've been missing. I've longed for him so much. Even after three years, my heart still race so fast just for him. My love for him didn't change, if possible, it became more intense and needy.

“Arken,” Banggit niya sa pangalan ko. Nakagat ko ang pang ibabang labi ko nang marinig ko ulit ang boses niya. Hindi ko napigilang mapait na mapangiti. I've been robbed. Matagal kong hindi iyon narinig at nanghihinayang ako sa mga oras na nasayang na dapat magkasama kami. I can't believe that I'm now hearing his sweet voice saying my name again. It's sounds so good and comforting.

“Hi,” I have so much words to say but all I can say right now now is a simple hi with excitement. Napatitig naman siya saakin habang hindi kumukurap. I smiled at him. I want to hug him and kiss him so bad but I won't risk it without his permission but I also expected him to hug me, kiss me or if he's upset— slap me, say something mean to me or cry because of what I did before. But all I received was a sweet indifferent smile from him.

“Hello, wow, you're back.” He said with a smile on his lips, but that smile was surely not genuine and not happy at all. He looked at me like he was not shocked that I am back. He looked at me like he already expected this moment to happen. He was looking at me like seeing me again was normal and he doesn't feel anything new about it or doesn't have to feel anything about it.

What hurt me the most is I can't see any love or longing in his eyes.

He just looked at me like I'm one of those people he once knew and now I'm back but he has nothing to do with me.

I wasn't expecting this at all. I was stunned and sad but all I can do was to muster a sweet smile for him. I should've expected this, I left him and it's been three years, he must've moved on already.

Nilunok ko ang nakamamatay na sakit sa lalamunan ko habang titig na titig pa rin sakanya.

“Y-Yeah,” Nauutal kong ani. Pinalaki niya naman ang ngiti sa mga labi niya bago hinulog ang hawak niyang yosi. Lumapit siya saakin at tinapik ako sa balikat.

“That's good, I guess. You've changed a lot.” He said like he's trying to have a normal conversation with me. I just stared at his face with longing even tho my heart is hurting seeing him like this. He's being indifferent towards me. It's like he didn't miss me at all.

Is it possible to be more hurt than I had already was for those past three years I was away with him? Because right now, I can hear my heart shattering into pieces, once again.

———

Reihan's

Tinungga ko ang pang tatlo kong baso ng alak. I'm trying to focus on my work but all I could think of is what happened last night.