Never in a Million Years |N.R|

|28| How can we help?

It was dark outside when I woke up, although the sun was offering a slight glow that left the sky a dim blue. To my surprise it hadn't been a nightmare that had woken me, but instead my body deciding that it had had enough. It was never one to revel in peace and quiet when it found it, as though it missed the chaos and uncertainty that usually filled my days.

Nat was still asleep beside me, since I must've shuffled away from her at some point in my sleep. My subconscious still couldn't kick the words she'd said in that nightmare of mine, the words that convinced me wholeheartedly that I didn't deserve her or her comforts. I'd lost the right to those the second I fell into the darkness all of those years ago. The very second I succumbed to such an evil way of life.

Of course, I didn't allow myself any sympathy for the fact I wasn't given a choice. The technicalities of it didn't matter, especially if they did anything to plead my case. I was a monster, plain and simple, and Nat would realise that some day. Hopefully soon, for her own sake.

"I hate you" the voice came from beside me, where Nat had just been laying sound asleep.

"What?" My head snapped to the side, eyes widened in an instant.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I was just asking if you were okay?" My mind had been playing tricks on me once again, shamelessly twisting her words to play into my self destructive thoughts of just moments ago.

"No, no it's okay. I just though you were still asleep. I'm okay."

"I heard you whispering something, so I woke up to make sure you were alright. I wasn't really asleep anyway." I hadn't even realised that I'd been speaking at all.

"Sorry, was just thinking out loud." Before she could pry about what those thoughts were, I directed the attention on her. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay, tired but okay. I just want this all to be over." I was grateful that she didn't ask me anymore questions, my mind was tired enough without trying to fabricate lies on the spot.

"Me too. Me too."

As we both settled into the silence of the room once more, a light knock came at the door, followed by Clint's voice. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah" Nat offered, as she pulled the covers back up to hide our exposed legs. We must've kicked them off in our sleep when we got hot.

Clint slowly turned the door knob before pushing the door open a crack, just enough to poke his head through. He took a second to eye the both of us, as if checking us over, before carrying on. "Fury's downstairs, says he needs everyone there. He asked me to come and get you both."

I turned to look over my shoulder at Nat, noticing that she was just as confused as I was.

"Okay, we'll be down in a few minutes. Thanks Clint." She offered, picking up on the fact that I wasn't planning on saying anything. My mind still felt a little foggy, especially with the added sleepiness.

"No problem, see you two in a minute." He offered the both of us a weak smile, before pulling his head back and closing the door softly.

"What's Fury doing here?" I questioned, whilst flopping back down on my pillow from having been leant on my elbow.

"I'm not sure, but we better get down there."

The last thing I wanted was to have to face the others, to have to get out of bed and put on a brave face in front of them. I didn't need them worrying about me, or staring at me whilst I sat in front of them with no place to hide. But Nat was right, if Fury had come to see us then it was important for me to show my face. So with a disappointed groan, I sat up in bed and pulled the covers off of me just as Nat had come to my side to meet me.