The Owl House Hunter/Golden Guard oneshots

💔💖Failure💖💔

This takes place right after the events of Eclipse lake, in this version Hunter and edric were dating beforehand.

⚠️Trigger Warnings ⚠️
*self hatred
*Mentions of neglect
*Mentions of abuse

I don't know how long I laid on my bed. Belos had been mad at me, as he should, for disobeying his order to stay at the castle. But he hadn't punished me so he wasn't to mad.

That wasn't why I hadn't moved though. Flapjack had gone to sleep in his nest, I had made sure it was somewhere no one would find it(not even nosy Kikimora who takes any chance she gets to sabotage me). I hadn't moved because I couldn't stop thinking about how Edric would react to this.

Edric was Amity's older brother after all, and there was no way she wouldn't tell him. I knew he would be coming and I was trying to thing about how to explain it to him.

I had been dating Edric in secret for a while now and I truly loved him. Being around him made me feel so good, so why did I have to mess it up!? I knew how this worked. He would come to me, angry. Them he would break up with me for hurting his sister. Afterwards things would go back to the way they were. My uncle loved me, but he was to busy to pay attention to me. Much less give me affection. It was one of the reasons I want to please him so badly, It's the only way he gives me positive attention.

I held back tears, I knew I couldn't cry. Weakness like that would be pointless. I didn't want to lose Edric, but I wasn't surprised that I was going to. The worst part was I would do it again. I didn't like it, far from it! But I didn't disappoint Belos, that was more important to me than anything.

All I ever did was mess things up. Anytime anyone grew close to me I always messed it up, and then they didn't want anything to do with me. Usually I didn't even know what I did wrong, they just started ignoring me and refusing to have anything to do with me. I really was nothing but a-

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of loud knocking on my window. I looked up and saw Edric there on his palismen. Might as well get it over with. I opened up my window and he came in.

"Mind explaining why my sister came home beat up and tells me that you stole the portal key!?" He looked straight at me. I was silent, I had never seen him this angry. You really screwed this up.

"I know your angry-"

"Angry doesn't even begin to explain Hunter! I can't believe you did that!" He looked at me and I avoided looking back. The break up line is coming. "Please tell me why you would do this...?" I was surprised that his voice came out softer, almost broken. He wants to here my explanation to make it seem like he hasn't already made up him mind.

I didn't look at him as I started talking, "I couldn't fail again. I had already failed before, and he would have found out I snuck out one way or another. It wasn't anything against her, she had the key and I needed it. Simple as that." The entire time I was talking my words had come out in a neutral tone, hoping he didn't hear the fear leaking into my words. I decided since I already messed up my relationship with him, why not make it seem like I didn't care?

"Why couldn't you fail again?"

I didn't answer. I heard his footsteps and I flinched as he grabbed my hands.

"Hunter tell me why you couldn't fail again." I continued to avoid eye contact as I said in the same neutral tone, "I can't disappoint Belos, not again. It was bad enough failing my last mission, on purpose I might add! I couldn't live with myself if I did it again. Especially since he told me not to leave." With him closer to me I hoped even more that he wouldn't hear the fear.

I felt myself start to shake and tried to hide it, I hadn't told him about my punishments for failing or disobeying him. It always ended up with a warning or a new scar. My warning had been last time, so I knew this time would have been the latter. That wasn't the point though. That information would have been useless, especially now.

"Is that really bad enough for you to break down and dig your own grave!?" His voice was still angry, but now there was worry. Why was he worried? It doesn't matter.

"Why does it matter whether or not I was digging my own grave, aren't you here to tell me off for attacking your sister." I could feel my voice break, did it really have to happen now!?

"Because I care about you, and as much as you try to hide it I know your scared right now. And even though I am angry I'm worried about you." I felt him put his hand softly on my cheek. "When Amity told me you were digging your own grave I was horrified, why is disappointing Belos so bad that you would not only dig your own grave but also fight my sister and threaten Luz?"

I was silent.

Then I was angry.

I pushed Edric away.

"WHY DOES IT MATTER!? I ATTACKED AMITY AND TOOK THE KEY! SO WHAT IF I WAS DIGGING MY OWN GRAVE!?" I yelled at Edric. "I WAS DOING MY JOB, I was doing what I had to do." I felt tears coming into my eyes as my voice broke again. I had to do it, I knew if I didn't I would have ended up with a new scar, a new reminder that I wasn't the person I should be. That I was a failure. How it was proof I couldn't do the simplest thing to thank Belos for being there to protect and raise me.

I fought back tears as Edric touched the scar on my face, my fight or flight response immediately keep kicked in and I jerked away.

"Hunter... Please tell me why disappointing Belos is so bad." The angry didn't feel directed at me anymore and now there was even more worry. He's a good person that's all.

"He took me in and raised me, without him I wouldn't be alive. I own my life to him. The least I can do is not be a disappointment."

I felt him gently lead me to my bed. Both of us sat down as he said in a soft voice.

"I know you Hunter, and I know there's something you aren't telling me. So until I know what it is I'm not giving up on you. I love you so much and I'm angry but I'm not leaving you."

I felt tears fill my eyes as he started braiding my hair. He wasn't going to leave me. When he braided my hair it always made me feel tired. Soon I felt eyes getting heavy and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

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1225 words! I'm impressed by myself! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of this book. Byeeeeeeeeee!