The Desires of Love

Chapter 18

It's been exactly a year since Dumbledore died. On this day, exactly three hundred and sixty five days ago, eight thousand seven hundred and sixty hours ago, five hundred twenty five thousand and six hundred seconds ago, the man that taught me more than I ever knew was possible, died.

For the rest of the semester of that year, Hogwarts fell into a depressive state. Everyone was told he was battling cancer, but us three, me, Draco, and Harry Potter know the truth. We just don't know who. There were rumors that it was Voldemort, Snape, even McGonagall. I was starting to believe them too. For months I tried so hard to go back to that memory, the one I had right before he died. I tried so hard and so often to figure out who the voice I heard belonged to. But no matter what I did, nothing worked.

"I can't believe we have already spent seven years of our life here." Pasny said, "Graduation is soon, and honestly I'm not sure if I'm ready."

Graduation? That reminds me of something, only I can't remember what it reminds me of. It must not be important. No. If it wasn't important then I wouldn't have remembered it when I heard graduation. If it wasn't important, the thought wouldn't be this heavy.. But what is it?

"Aster?" Pasny said.

I snapped out of my mind and looked at her, the whole group was staring at me. Pasny, Marcus, Blaise, Crabbe, Goyle, Tracey, and Draco.

"Hmm? What?" I asked.

"Are you okay, love?" Draco asked.

"Mhm! Fine." I said sitting up.

"I was asking what you're planning on doing after Graduation." Pasny said.

There it is again. The word Graduation buzzed in my head. It has to be important for me to be affected by a word like this. Why is it that I can't remember? I'm usually not this forgetful. I thought back on all the times I remember talking about Graduation, but nothing stood out to me.

"Aster." Draco said, putting his hand on mine.

"I'm sorry, I've been stuck in my mind for a while." I smiled.

"Maybe you're tired?" Pasny suggested.

"Yeah. I think I am. I'm gonna head back to the dorms." I said as I picked my plate up.

"I'll go with." Draco said.

The whole walk back to his room was silent. Nobody was in the halls this late at night. He knew something was bothering me, but knew I wouldn't talk about it until we were alone. We got up to his room, I turned his light on and sat on his bed. He closed the door behind him and joined me.

"What's wrong, Love?" He asked.

"Honestly.." I said softly, my voice breaking. "I don't know. It's weird to think that Dumbledore died a year ago today. For months I've been trying to figure out who that voice was, but I haven't been able to. When Pasny said Graduation, something clicked. The word stuck and got me thinking, then I couldn't remember why the word Graduation was so important to me. I still can't."

He hugged me, "Are you scared of graduation?"

"A little," I answered, hugging him back, "But it's not those nervous feelings that you'd expect to get with an event this important, I'm scared of it. Only because it doesn't feel right."

"With Dumbledore missing?" He asked.

"No.." I said as I stood up, "I'm scared of it for a different reason, but I can't figure out why. It's this gut feeling I have that's tied with the word Graduation. I'm forgetting something really important." I started to pace.

"Over break, last year, when we were the only ones here, something happened. I remember talking to Dumbledore about it. He was scared. I can't remember why he was scared though." I said, then stopped pacing. "Holy shit, that's why the word Graduation stuck with me. We talked about it, when it was just me and him. It's when I knew he would die. I told him he would die before Graduation."