When She Meets 4K

Suffocating

CW: Body image issues ⚠️⛔️

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Everyone but Bokuto was sitting in the car, ready to go.

He comes rushing out, holding yet another protein shake. "Sorry! Worked harder today, so I needed another shake."

You tug on Kenma's arm to get him to slide over. He doesn't move. "You're the smallest so Bokuto should just go around so you can stay in the middle." You weren't saying anything, just staring back into his eyes. You let go of his arm and sigh, watching Bokuto go around to sit on your other side. When he got in, you were careful not to let your arms or legs touch his and stayed that way the whole drive.

Shopping was a blur of checking price tags, finding deals, asking opinions, and so on. You'd all basically gotten enough clothes for the trip with your family and planned to shop again for the reunion trip.

The last thing on the list was swimwear.

Bokuto and Kuroo were fooling around with the speedos while Kenma and Akaashi looked at tank tops and shorts. You had a collection of about 6-7 bathing suits in your arms. "You gonna try on all of those?" Kenma asks as you walk by them to the dressing room. "Yup! And if you guys are done, I'd like opinions!" They all gather on the seats in front of the dressing rooms and wait.

But then you started taking a while.

After an entire ten minutes, you still hadn't come out. "Y/n? You okay in there?" You were snapped out of your trance. "Huh? Yeah! Sorry! I'm good. Just a minute!"

You were staring at your reflection with tears in your eyes. Stretch marks, thicker thighs, love handles, some belly pudge. Your skin seemed a little dull too.

Unbeknownst to the four outside, you'd already tried on four of the suits, but hated how they looked because of your own insecurities. Abandoning the idea of wearing any of the suits, you start putting your own clothes on again. Another five minutes passed and Bokuto starts up. " Y/n, hurry! We've been here for hours."

You hurry to grab everything and give it to a nearby employee. "Okay, let's go."

Kuroo cocks his head. "Hey, I thought you wanted our opinions?" You shake your head. "No, it's alright." Akaashi stops you from walking away. "Wait, why? Those looked nice." Kenma agreed. "What, were they just the wrong size?" You shake your head again. "No, I didn't like them. C'mon." Bokuto groans. "We waited all that time for nothing? We didn't even see one." He takes the suits from the employee. "Let us see. Maybe you'll change your mind." You refuse and give the suits back. "I have some at home that'll be fine. I didn't really like these ones." He kept trying to change your mind, but you weren't having it. "But look, this one—" "No, Bokuto. I don't want to."

You were trying to seem as normal as possible but it was more than obvious you were bothered.

Bokuto sighs and gives up. "Fine. Let's go guys." The drive home was silent aside from the radio playing quietly.

You were feeling very stressed. A million things were flashing through your brain.

Your family trip, for one, could multiply your stress. Then right after, there were preparations for finals at work. Then the reunion trip. New people? New anxiety. Being comfortable around Things 1-4 was only due to the way you became friends. Despite that, Bokuto's recent attitude was still getting to you. Sleeping had been troublesome too, with the occasional nightmares involving Ichiro. You needed a vacation, and you had two planned, but would they really be all that relaxing? You'd have to wait and see. With all that plus your body image issues, you were practically suffocating.

You follow behind as Kuroo unlocks the house door. You were still taking off your shoes when you hear commotion from the kitchen. "Bokuto! You left these dishes in the sink, now look what happened!" You walk into the kitchen to see what had happened. In the sink, what did you see?

A whole bunch of dishes and a whole bunch of something else.

Ants.

That ticked off your last nerve. Bokuto was staring at it. "Crap.." You could barely even say anything to him. "Move." You say, grabbing the dishes from out of the sink and dumping them straight into the trash. "You don't need to throw them out. I can just wash them." Bokuto tells you, getting in your way. You go around him and start slamming the dishes into the garbage harder. "No. We're not using these. I knew this would happen. You did this three, four times now and now I have to throw them all away."

Clearly, you were upset.

"You don't have to slam them so loud, chill. They're just-" You cut him off. "Bokuto, please! Stop telling me to chill. I'm chill! And before you say it, no, they're not just dishes! They're my grandma's dishes. And they mean something to me. I'm not exactly happy to lose them, okay?" You could feel your body trembling and toss the last plate into the trash.

Bokuto was looking at you speechless, yet still trying to find something to say. "Just- Just forget it, Bokuto. Forget the dishes, it's fine. It's fine." You were just about ready to break, but you didn't do it until you were alone in the shower. Again, Kuroo had come to check on you but your door was locked, so he left it alone for now.

The next day was pretty quiet. You were gone and out the door before anyone was up. Your outburst had left you with a little bit of lingering embarrassment. Such a little thing made you snap and you had almost broken into pieces in the middle of the kitchen.

When you got home, everyone was doing their own thing. You finished packing and gathered a few things for the three hour road trip the next day. Successfully, you got to keep to yourself for the day.

Then, Saturday rolls around.

Just when you thought you were in the clear, Bokuto gets a minute alone with you.